Laziest Gun in the U.S.

Today I swung my front door wide open and placed my Remington 30.06 right in my doorway. I left 6 shells beside it, then left it alone and went about my business. While I was gone, the mailman delivered my mail, the neighbor boy across the street mowed the yard, a girl walked her dog down the street, and quite a few cars stopped at the stop sign near the front of our house.

After about an hour, I checked on the gun. It was still sitting there, right where I had left it. It hadn't moved itself outside. It certainly hadn't killed anyone, even with the numerous opportunities it had been presented to do so. In fact, it hadn't even loaded itself. Well you can imagine my surprise, with all the media hype about how dangerous guns are and how they kill people. Either the media is wrong or I'm in possession of the laziest gun in the world.

I've heard the United States is 3rd in murders throughout the world. But if you take out Chicago, Detroit, Washington DC and New York, the United States is 4th from the bottom for murders. These four cities also have the toughest gun control laws in the United States. All four are controlled by Democrats.

It would be absurd to draw any conclusions from this data, right?

Well, I'm off to check on my spoons. I hear they're making people fat.