Lessons for Yankees Moving to the South

1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of venomous snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders and all 10,000 of them live in the South.

4. "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.

5. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

6. People actually grow and eat okra.

7. "Fixin'to" is one word.

8. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.

9. You think the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

10. We don't need no dang Driver's Ed.... if our mama says we can drive, we can drive, dag nabbit.

11. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

12. The real 'Mason-Dixon Line' is the Ohio River.

13. If you can't say ya'll, don't even try to say you all. It sounds really irritating coming from ya'll.

14. Grits is gourmet eatin'.