Ministering to those at death's door (and their families)

This, from one that has never done this before, speaking from point of view of laying in a hospital bed in great pain.

Shut up, sit down, and be company I say that in kindness and from my point of view. When in pain you are rather taken up with physical and spiritual may or may not be a focus.

I enjoyed a number of long, non-verbal visits with my father-in-law that had terminal cancer. I made it clear I was there for company and/or visiting. Often it was just quiet.

Platitudes, and pat answers don't usually sit well with families either. Just be there for support and let them know you will do what you can.

As to your situation, do what you can, I'd guess they will understand your limitations and appreciated all that you do. Normally if they find fault with what you don't do, they will do it no matter what you do :-(

The Spirit is the Comforter - let him lead and you should be in good company

 

John,

Bless you for your heart of a pastor. Much of what exscentric shared is right on. I have been in the ministry for nearly 24 years and that fact that you are there when you can and are ministering to the family is huge. Just be there when you can and stay sensitive to the Holy Spirit. He will give you and this special lady and her family all you need. God Bless.

Bro Tony

 

"How do I effectively minister to her and the family in these circumstances?" I want to be there for them without interfering."

When my mother was dying of cancer people from the church would often call, via telephone, or drop cards in the mail, or even send litte "pick me ups" like flowers or candy with scripture on them. At times they did stop by the hospital too. I think Mom appreciated the phone calls and cards every bit as much as she did the hospital visits. It was knowing that people still cared, and knowing that people were praying which mattered.

Also - there are simply times when you don't feel up to talking to the Pastor when you're ill. A phone call was wonderful in that it said, "I'm here, I'm thinking of you, if you need me, I'll BE there in person. Otherwise, what else do you need?" Sometimes the need was for someone to check on someone else and just take a load off Mom's mind.

At my own church now - as many already know, the man I was married to for 18 years literally lost his mind following an automobile accident, and over a course of time moved in and out of our home until we finally divorced. The moment my Pastor heard that this was going on he called. The next morning someone else from the church dropped by with cookies and a hug, and a prayer. That afternoon, the Pastor's daughter called my daughter and said, "Let's get coffee." My son's Sunday School teacher showed up and said, "Hey, let's go play some basketball."

In other words - The Pastor cared by finding the people best able to minister and asking them to do what they do best.

 

I have found that as a pastor you have to move out with compassion but in conjunction with the heart of the person sick and the family who suffers in the situation. For the erson dying scriptures about heaven and salvation are appropriate. It is piercing through the shadow of death that the comfort is found. Intrude a bit without making your self a nuisance, Weep in sincerity love and embrace the suffering and at the same time pray the t the God of al comfort will comfort and strengthen them. People remember more of what you did during the suffering. Each family is different some are more emotional than others. Be sensitive and biblical.