My wife now wants to work in Syria

Let her go to Syria.

 

I would buy her the ticket and pack her bag. My marriage bow was "till death do us part" but I made it plain in premarital counseling that an affair would be a complete deal breaker.

 

Syria is a muslum country where women have NO rights. Tell her good luck with that one, mate.
Q'ran references available upon request.

 

There is an old Indian proverb don't judge a man until you have walked a mile in his moccasins... But I do agree with annsni on post 2, now weather she will agree to it is another matter... But if she doesn't go I feel you need to, to determine which direction you need to go... To me from what you have posted so far, her mind is basically as I see it made up... maddog, Reynolds and Mike Hall made good points... Seems to me again you are trying to save your marriage and she is trying to get out of it... My wife I am married to now as I was widowed after 30 years of marriage also came from a similar situation... Her husband was cheating on her in the marriage and she wanted them to go to counseling but he refused... They had young children at the time and she stayed in that marriage because of them... Believe it or not they were both in the church and divorce wasn't an option, and she suffered for 26 years... In a nut shell she suffered in silence while he played... She was accused and he was not... The good old church boys club... Sorry back to your case had to vent a little... Again only my opinion seem to me she wants the marriage dissolved as she has her eyes on another man as IMHO an affair is imminent, the question is when?... Can this marriage be saved?... If two people are not on the same page... NO!... One is already out the door... Brother Glen

 

I see your point!... Brother Glen

 

The best thing you could do at this point is this: Give her this link to the USAid web site listing for vacancies and wish her well. Also, offer to help her pack and watch her reaction.
Vacancy Announcements | U.S. Agency for International Development

 

This is really sad but I believe this is between you and your wife and the decision should only come from you because the result will affect you and not us. We can suggest things but still you should decide on how the holy spirit guides you. If it will happen to me also, first of all, I will check on myself because as the head of the family, it is always my responsibility to protect my family. And with what happened to your wife, you have also a part. You failed to protect her from the wiles of the devil. Secondly, you need to talk with each other heart to heart because you are already both adults and it is best to solve this first within your family before you tell it to your neighbor like us. If nothing happens, then you have to call the right person like a faithful christian that you respect. I believe that if you do this, all the right solutions will be revealed and there you will choose the best solutions. I hope that your wife will repent and see the temptation as just lust. Your wife should see that the doctor is a liar. If the doctor is cheating his wife also, then she will surely do it to anybody.

I hope and pray that God will give you the right decision because this will affect your whole life. Even your church or relatives will be affected also. If you are ready to be separated with her, then so be it. But before you decide, please try some of my suggestions.

 

I am SO sorry for your agony.

I went through a broken relationship involving unfaithfulness that led to divorce more than two decades ago and understand that pain.

Couple of things to remember:

(1) You cannot make someone love you or keep their commitments to you. Not even God allows that for Himself.
(2) When a spouse decides that they need to "find themselves," then usually shed their relationships.
(3) If she goes through with this, she will almost certainly make a mess of her life that will take years to sort out, if ever.
(4) She will never have a comfortable and trusting relationship with this doctor because she will know in her heart that he is a cheater and may well trade her in for someone new without notice.
(5) She is already cheating on you with her heart. If this man were in physical proximity, I am afraid she would already be cheating on you with her body as well.
(6) You have biblical grounds if she leaves in terms of unfaithfulness and abandonment, but the real question is, what do you want to do?

What do you want?

You can wait for her to figure out that she has made a mistake and then figure out if there is any hope of restoring the relationship (especially trust), or you can provide an ultimatum regarding your marriage and give her a point of no return so that she has to think carefully about what she does. The "easy" thing to do is to be a doormat (in the name of love) and let her call the shots. But she will likely lose respect for you (she may want you to fight your your relationship), or she will use (abuse) you for everything she can get before she breaks it off and leave you in terrible shape.

Under the advice of my pastor, I did not give my wife an ultimatum (although I did express my feelings about what she was doing), and she abandoned me for another guy - along with tens of thousands of dollars from our bank account (she thoughtfully left me $200), and racked up more than $15,000 of credit card debt before I caught it and shut down those accounts. I spent years recovering financially, and I am much poorer now that I should be. Ultimately, it did not help to give her options and was financially devastating. If I had to do it again, I would have given her a clear ultimatum and taken some immediate financial safeguards to prevent losing everything.

I will pray for the two of you and for great wisdom for your situation. Remember, you need to think of yourself as well as her. If you think there is hope for your marriage, then fight for it. If you know in your heart that it is over, then start taking steps so you can end the marriage honorably and fairly should she force your hand.

May God give you peace.

 

"Let" her?
You're not a Jew so divorce for adultery is allowed. Divorce for emotional abandonment is too.
Why would you want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? You'll miss the woman God has in store thinking to hold tight to the woman God's telling you wants to be let go of.

If your wife isn't aware of what happens to Christians in Syria, she's clearly not emotionally nor mentally sound. That too is a reason for divorce.

What's really sad here though ? This thread gets more replies than threads asking for prayers for a dying child. That one got ZERO replies. And yesterday the baby Charlie Gard died.

Let your wife do what she wants and suffer what she gets . As soon as she demonstrated passion for a man not her husband she was gone from you.