New element discovered!!!

[just-want-peace]

Have no idea where this came from, but I found it in my "WORD" files from '07. Not being a chemist, I cannot vouch for the veracity here, but to a layman it sounds pretty dad-gum accurate!!:thumbs:

Recent hurricanes and gasoline issues are proof of the existence of a new chemical element. Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.

A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to anytime from four days to four years to complete. Governmentium has a normal half-life of two-six years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.

In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

 

[Deacon]

That's great! I'll share it with my nuclear physicist friend.

Perhaps the discovery of this element lead to the finding of Higgs Bozo

Rob

 

[Judith]

edited by poster

 

[prophet]

That's great! I'll share it with my nuclear physicist friend.

Perhaps the discovery of this element lead to the finding of Higgs Bozo

Rob

Don't forget the radical particals that GV dispenses, called whine-ons, that cause radiation sickness in all who are over exposed to them.
In time, the affected matter will become attracted to GV, increasing mass exponentially.