non christian roommate- please help

Since you're the main signer on the lease, you're responsible for the damage to the carpet! That, my friend, is a major expense!

Our son is in a similar situation. He and an army buddy (female) are renting a high priced condo from the army buddy's sister. It's an investment for her. The army buddy is a slob. She allows her art school friends to come and do projects there. Jon works nights and sleeps days. He comes home to his private bath filthy from drunks throwing up, etc. He thinks someone has been sleeping in his bed at times. Now the army buddy has been called to active duty and he has to find a new roommate by Jan. 1st.

You certainly need rules but if she's paying her half and you didn't discuss these things ahead of time, best you could do is ask her to move out. I would NOT tolerate her having sleepovers!

Diane

 

She will. This girl needs to straighten up and fly right or leave. If this don't happen you will be the one paying the price.

 

You need to find out if she is a believer. If she is, and she is living this way, you need to admonish her with the word of God. Jesus said 'if you love me, keep my commandments.' Ask her if she loves Jesus or not? Then show her from scripture what Jesus says about servants who do not love their Lord.

I would not assume that she is not a believer, just because she is not living right with the Lord. She needs to repent of some sins, though, and probably needs a lot of prayer from some holy Christians.

 

If she isn't a believer, it wouldn't be a very good testimony for you to kick her out of her home because she acts like an unbeliever. However, it's very possible that she is a believer, in which case she needs to be made to be ashamed of her behaviour. But you will have to bring it up, you can't just let it go.

Pr 24
11 ¶ If thou forbear to deliver them that are drawn unto death, and those that are ready to be slain;
12 If thou sayest, Behold, we knew it not; doth not he that pondereth the heart consider it? and he that keepeth thy soul, doth not he know it? and shall not he render to every man according to his works?

It's your job as salt of the earth to preserve this girls life. I would pray up, then just go out into the living room and ask her up front, 'Do you know what will happen to you when you die?' And go where it leads. If she is not saved, she may very well be broken and receptive to the word. The way of the transgressor is hard.

If she says she knows she is going to be with the Lord because He died for her (that is still the gospel of salvation, right?) then she needs to be rebuked for her sin. And she will probably not want to hear it. But she needs to be made aware that she is not going to be able to escape the Lord at the judgment seat of Christ. If you keep after her and keep praying, she will either repent or she will leave.

 

Chipsgirl, I think it is safe to assume this person is not a believer.

Just because you are a believer does not mean you need to tolerate open sin, her cats making messes, etc. You need to take charge as the main signer of the lease.

Pray for wisdom and strenght. In a loving way, tell her that the conditions are such that you cannot live this way and you are giving her a chance to clean up her act. Tell her that as a believer, you cannot have sleepovers with the opposite sex under your roof. Tell her about the cat problem and ask her if she's willing to change and live by these rules. If not, give her 30 or 60 days to find a new place.

It might help if a Christian friend would be willing to be with you while you say all this. But do it in love, and pray for God to give you the love. Let her know that you do care about her but that there are certain things and conditions you cannot live with.

 

P.S. This is a good lesson for next time you look for a roommie! Make the conditons clear up front and say that if they are not kept, the person will have to move out!

 

Well this is a perfect time for you to tell her that you didn't realize how different you are and that it's against your Christian beliefs for a man and woman to sleep together outside of marriage and her 'sleep overs' hurt YOUR testimony! I'd tell her that you'd like for her to start looking for a new place and that you'll be looking for a roommate with 'like beliefs'.

Can you afford the place alone if it takes a while to clean up and find someone? Also, I have a formula to remove the odor and stains from cat urine. If you'd like it, email me.

tavegia@bellsouth.net

 

Then if the other girl is really your best friend, she'll understand. You cannot continue in this situation. Not only is it stressful, but it is compromising your witness for Christ, as Diana said.

We can't always make people happy, Chipsgirl, especially when we take certain stands the world does not like. That is part of being a believer. You can take your stand in love and your roommie and "best friend" might still be unahppy with you, but that is the cost of taking that stand. That is part of what we have to do in life. Sometimes situations call for that. This is also part of growing up, and taking responsibility, letting the chips fall where they may, etc.

 

Also, if your best friend gets angry or does not understand, she is not really being much of a friend.

If you always try to do what makes people happy, you will end up compromising in all sorts of areas. It is clear that this girl thinks she can take advantage of you, and that is exactly what she is doing. You must put an end to it now.

You've received good advice here, which is what you asked for. Now put it to use!

 

Chipsgirl, you might be helping her more by telling her your standards and that she must leave. Letting the situation continue only enables her to keep on in her lifestyle, lets her take advantage of you, and may be contributing to her thinking you are just a weak doormat Christian (and she may think all Christians are this way). Think of it as tough love.

If you kept on letting her live this way under her roof, you could no really "show her to Christ" at all. You show Christ to her more by your standards. And, as I said, tell her in love but do it firmly.

Do you mind giving us your age or approximate age?

For what's it worth, we are here for you!

 

I should have checked my post better. The 2nd paragraph should read (correcting spelling and bad typing or grammar is a major hangover from being a Lit major!):

If you keep on letting her live this way under your roof, you cannot really "show her to Christ" at all. You show Christ to her more by your standards. And, as I said, tell her in love but do it firmly.