PASTOR BLOOPERS Part 2

NEW APOSTLE'S CREED
Our pastor (Rev. Marjorie Doriani) is a strong personality, but even she has her moments...One Sunday during the worship service, following a number of additions and corrections to our announcements, we finally got to the Apostle's Creed. Everything was fine until we reached the part about how Jesus was..."confused by the Holy Ghost, born of the Virgin Mary..." Poor Rev. Doriani was aghast! Afterwards, she whispered (into her microphone) "What did I say? I didn't say what I think I just said, did I?"

WIFE OF THE MONTH
At our church, the "deacons of the month" stand next to the pastor at the front door and greet people as they leave. One Sunday my husband, the associate pastor, was filling in for the pastor. At the close of the service he announced, "Will the deacons and my wife of the month please join me at the front door." Everyone laughed and wondered who would be his "wife of the month" the following month!

PRAY FOR THE SICK
I was listening to my Associate Pastor at our last church pray and I realized the phrase didn't come out quite right. He said, "...and Lord, we pray for those who are sick of this church." I'm sure that's not what he meant!!!

ANGELS ON HIGH
One Sunday our music director very clearly announced, "Our next song is "Angels We Have Heard Get High." He did get the page number correct in spite of the laughter rolling through the congregation.

BUT WHAT?
A guest speaker was discussing the "buts" in the Word of God and the fact that a "but" placed in the middle of a sentence negates what was said previously. He skillfully made his point that we must be those who do not negate the word of God by using the word "but" after God has spoken. Then he exclaimed "We MUST kill our Buts" - the whole congregation broke into laughter! -- Lynn Tynes

NEW STYLE OF PRAYER
The pastor was preparing to lead his congregation in prayer. He stated very forcefully, "Let's bow our eyes and close our heads."

BACKWARDS EASTER
My friend David was on his vicarage...he was scheduled to preach his first Easter sermon...being a little nervous he flubbed up at the end of the sermon by shouting out at a particularly dramatic moment..."Yes...Jesus rose...and then He died again. Hallelujah!"

YOUTHFUL LESSON
A few weeks ago, our district was going to have the *Sectional* Youth Rally at our church. The pastor got up and made this announcement "We will be hosting the sexual youth rally this Friday evening at 7:00. Everyone is welcome to attend. It should be an enjoyable evening for all and we can probably learn a lot from these kids"

TOMBSTONE DIGNITARY
At a gathering of a "Jubilee Celebration" the First Baptist Church was filled to capacity with attendees and dignitaries. The Church Council President was at the podium making the introduction of the illustrious featured speaker of the hour... "Dr. So-and-so is a graduate of South Western Cemetery". She heard her error and quickly tried to correct it.. but the 'damage' was done and the audience was lost in laughter. --Bill Shuler

SICK OF PREACHING
I had a pastor friend who went into the pulpit one Sunday morning wearing a pair of new bifocals. The reading portion of the glasses improved his vision considerably, but the top portion of the glasses didn't work so well. In fact he was experiencing dizziness every time he looked through them. He explained to the congregation that the new glasses were causing problems, then said, " I hope you will excuse my continually removing my glasses. You see when I look down I can see fine, but when I look at you, it makes me sick." ---George McCracken

Pulpit Bloopers is copyright 2002 by Sermon Fodder Ministries (www.sermonfodder.com) and was compiled from contributing
members of the Sermon Fodder List.

today'sTHOT============================

Two hats were hanging on a rack in the hallway. One said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a-head."

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