Pastor's Duties

Sir, if your church has only a hundred members, it is probable that he has a week job to support his family. That would make a visit hard. In addition, it seems you only had outpatient surgery. I have had a number of surgeries, both stay-in-the hospital kind and outpatient kind. I would never expect a visit from my pastor for an outpatient surgery. I appreciate prayers, but pastors are busy people, and they have many commitments.

He did call, and that is fine. He checked up on you when he was able.

 

Maybe. But don't we all drop the ball in our duties toward God? Rather than looking to be offended you can seek to pray for him.

 

Where were the other 99 members. Were they in the hospital too?

When I was not pastoring I went with the pastor to the hospital and visited people on my own. There were many times when he would call me and ask if I could go visit someone. Very seldom did I say that I could not.

The ministry of the church is not about one man but about a team effort.

There was a time when I pastored a chruch and worked a job. One lady called and talked with my wife and she is not much of a person to get angry but she did on the woman. She asked the woman a question about what I was to do when I had men working for me?

 

So is the real question, why your pastor has time to ride motorcycles with you but doesn't have time to visit you during an outpatient surgery? Is it a question of duty or is there some hurt because you believe if he can be there during the fun times why wasn't he there during the bad?

Those questions you need to take up with your pastor. We can't answer them.

I will say however, that my pastor claims that out patient surgery is a tool of the devil to bring dissention to the church. He's not really joking. The nature of out patient surgery is one of hurry up and wait. Either the patient hasn't gotten there yet, or they were sent somewhere else or it's been done and they are gone. But let the preacher not be able to find the member, there'll be trouble!

I personally, don't want to be visited by anyone while I am undergoing a medical procedure. I don't want to be seen while I am out of my head due to the drugs I've been given, or drooling or any of the various things I can imagine doing. The pastor can visit me at home or he can call, his choice. I am a low maintenance church member.

 

I'm gonna "ditto" menagerie's understanding of the whole matter here! And let me add a few observations if I may

As a 19 year "veteran" pastor --- I've seen just about every hospital scenario there is to name --- not in any particular order --- here's a few observations

As Pastor I want to "be there" for any parishener's surgery

A. I ask that either the patient or close relative contact me prior to the surgery --- "Bro. David! J D's havin' Open Heart on such & such date!"

I'll mark it down on my calender and will plan on being there early --- pray with "J D" and his wifey prior to his "prep" time ---- and will plan on staying with his family until surgery is over. I usually leave after surgery when the "doc" meets with the family to make sure everything is OK --- I do not visit "JD" in recovery or when they wheel him back to his room.

If the hospital stay is extended after surgery --- as in Open Heart --- I will usually wait 2-3 days before returning for a room visit --- and then the room visit will be brief and in the afternoon after lunch. Rarely I wll visit (Pastorally) at evening time --- but I will if I have to.

I will do this with any church member who calls me(bear down on that word) ---calls me--- concerning surgery.

OUTPATIENT surgery is a different story

There are so many kinds of outpatient surgeries nowadays --- major and minor ---- if you're gonna go to get your endgrown toenail cut out --- or some minor thing like that --- dude --- you can handle that on your own. Get it????? I ain't gonna come over there and hold your hand while the "Doc" whittles on your toe!!!!:laugh:

Some outpatient surgeries are major ---- Gall Bladder surgery --- knee surgery or something along those lines --- call me and I'll come be with you and your wifey dear --- have prayer with you and wait with her in the waiting room until surgery is over and the doc says everything looks fine. --- And speaking of that --- on many, many occasions I will arrive at the hospital for some member's outpatient surgery --- say the surgery is sceduled for 7am --- I'm there at 7am with the family ---- on many occasions something will inevitably go wrong with the surgery "preceeding" the members surgery ----- and that particular surgery is delayed to Lord knows what time later on ----- I've stayed with several families who arrive at 7am and the surgery won't actually begin until 5 or 6 that evening because of some "emergency" that has come up and the "doc" has to be somewhere else.

If you don't call and let me know when surgery is --- don't get "miffed" at me if I don't show up!!! But if you call ---- I'll be there.

I've attended outpatient Cataract surgery --- little children's Tonsil surgery --- I've checked on members whos having Melanoma's "dug out" of their skin --- the sky is the limit.

But call me personally ---- yes I know that the OP said that he called the preacher's wife --- but who knows how or why the message wasn't relayed--- thats why I prefer you contact me personally before surgery --- that way --- if theres a goof up on communication nobody's gonna get mad at my wife for not telling me.

A message for the OP --- call the preacher up --- and go ride your "Hogs" together ---- life is too short and there's not enough time left to life to be "miffed off" about such a silly thing ---- beg the Lord's forgiveness for being selfish ---- and when you and the preacher pull into the gas station on those Hogs-----pay for his gas and buy him a cold drink --- thats what I would do if I were you!!!!

HAPPY RIDIN'!!!!:thumbs: :thumbs:

 

Blackbird, you said it all very well. Good words.

 

As a pastors wife, I have to ditto whats been said.

My husband doesnt do outpatient surgery. If he did, he'd be at a hospital all the time. If there is an illness or major surgery, he is there many times throughout.

I do try to run interference and find out dates and times, but if you want HIM to know, then tell HIM. I forget sometimes, too.

Maybe he did forget, but if you are true friends, you will forgive him for it. Pastors are just like everyone else.

 

I have to agree with that. People do not realize the amount of hours pastors put in, even in a small church, perhaps especially in a small church. I think it is unreasonable to expect a pastoral call for outpatient surgery.
The fact that this pastor rides his motorcycle means he has a life outside the church. Good for him. If he didn't, he couldn't keep up the pressure of the pastorate.

 

I read the hurt in your OP and truly feel for you. I would like to suggest that from my own experience, the small church pastor tends to have a significantly greater proportional burden in the area of shepherding and tend to be exposed to a much greater occupational risk in this area than pastors of much larger churches.

The care that you needed (and I use "need" here sincerely) is, IMO, precisely what the actions of Acts 6 were intended to address regarding the preacher/teacher demands of church leaders. Does your church have deacons who can minister to the body so that the pastor is able to devote himself to study, prayer, and preparation to better lead the flock?

BTW, I'm a layman who has had 2 inpatient and 1 outpatient surgeries over the past 5 years (all involving great pain and significant risks). In 2 of the cases, our pastor was unable to come by the hospital...but I am quite confident that I was in his thoughts and prayers.

I would suggest that you use this episode as an opportunity to better serve your pastor, and church, to work to energize the diaconate to be better trained and active in the area of pastoral care.

 

You can think of it this way too, hawg....you are a friend to your pastor. He probably isn't able to ride motorcycles with every other person in the church. Count it a privilege to be a blessing to him by NOT being offended if he was not able to show up physically at the hospital.

 

Good perspective bapmom. :thumbsup:

 

Any of you Pastors ever do prayer by phone? I know I do from time to time. One thing I do like is a call from the family when the procedure is over. Even if I'm not there physically I do keep ya in prayer and on my mind.

We recently had a member who had herself physicaly enhanced. She told me about it, I think??? but did I go, not just no but NO. She had the nerve to have an attitude. When do members expect too much from a servant?

 

My wife worked in the same hospital that many of the people in the church went to for surgery. There were a few times when she would tell me someone is in the hospital and nobody told me. I remember one time very well when the man in the hospital was going to have surgery and he was worried about dying. The doctors gave him about a 25% chance to live. I walked in just before his surgery. When I walked in, the look on the nurses faces told me everything. They were glad I was there. I told him to not worry and let the doctors take care of him. I prayed for him and a calm came over him. As I walked out the nurses thanked me. He came through surgery and healed up well. When he came to church he was a changed man. For a long time I visited him in his home and one time he stareted crying and told me how glad he was that I was there, He remembered my words to him before surgery. Hospital visitation was a great time to take others from the church with me and teach them how to visit people in the hospital. It can be a gerat time ot reach people. I took my daughter with me since she was about three. She did not know anything about wehat was going on in the hospital and I never told her. She felt very comfortable. The first time the nurses looked at me rather funny but never said a word. The people in the hospital liked having a young girl to visit them in the hospital. I would tell me daughter what to do and she would do well.

 

Just as it would be tough to visit people during outpatient procedures, it is also tough to visit mothers giving birth. When the little guy decides to come, the last thing on dad's mind is to call the pastor, and by the time the pastor finds out about the birth, it is time for mother and baby to go home, thanks to today's insurance restrictions. I usually would know approximately when a baby was due and would phone another family member if I could to find out what was going on .. occasionally saw a new baby before grandparents did!

I went to a hospital to visit one of our members, who said, "Oh, did you know ..... is here having her baby?" So I got in another visit I had not been informed about because one of our members ran into her fellow church member and was good enough to inform me. Providential? I expect so .. that is the name of the hospital, Providence (grin).

At that same hospital I was visiting the unsaved husband/father/grandfather of church members, and found when I reached his room all sorts of commotion related to his roommate, who was having cardiac arrest. Both my member and the medical team and the family of the roommate (who did in fact die at that time) were glad to see me getting involved. Just a couple of examples of the serendipitous ministries that can come out of hospital visitation.

But I could not and would not have jumped to be at the hospital for every little incidental procedure.

 

One of my most favorite times for hospital visits. I usually know beforehand when "Sister So & So" is due ---- I don't go in for the delivery or nothing like that ---- but do try to visit a day or two after delivery.

When I have a Cold or have had some sort of virus --- the daddy gets a phone call ---- I'm not gonna go to the hospital "hackin'" all over the place, blowin' my nose and coughin' all over everything just to see the baby.

My favorite part is when the new dad gives me a cigar!!!! I don't smoke 'um ---- but keep them as momentos for a while. Occasionally they'll give candy or chocolate bars---now, I'll eat that--no momentos there!!!:laugh:

Every now and then I get to hold the new born baby in the hospital room---thats always a treat!!!!:thumbs: