Pastors, sexual hurt and sin

God is good, pastor G! My marriage has been affected by sexual abuse and sexual sin, but God has been restoring my marriage and it is stronger now than it ever was. I have to give Him all the glory for it, because I can do nothing with out Him.

 

My wife had been molested as a child, and this has, I think, been the root of a lot of her emotional trials. I won't go into any gory details here in public. I think you can find my testimony in the mens private forum, but I will say that my wife and I were about to divorce and I was ready and willing to chuck it all. But I realized that the situation between my wife and I was affecting our 3 year old son very badly. My parents divorced when I was about 13 and after that my father basically vanished from my life, and I didn't want my son to have to go down the same paths that I went down, not having a father to guide me. I prayed and God brought me to repentence and suffice to say, my wife and I have been back together for over two years and God just continues to bless us. We now have a new baby girl to go with our 6 yr old boy.

 

My wife and I have a bi-vocational counseling ministry; we see 12-13 cases a week, sometimes single people, sometimes couples.

The issue of sexual abuse comes up in over half our cases as one of the factors. Pornography also is a "frequent flyer" in the devastation of lives. Physical abuse, and parents with alcohol or drug habits round out the top four.

I have learned that when people have a permanently negative attitude, are angry tyrants in their own homes, are reclusive and withdrawn, or are obsessed with sexual things, that one or more (or, horribly, all four) of the above were present in their homes growing up.

We have also learned, from people who have come to us as a "last resort," that neither psychology nor any mixture of psycho-babble and Christianity can heal anyone long term.

There is healing in Christ and His Word, but never in secular psychology or any type of Christian Psychology.