Ponderisms

This showed up in my e-mail inbox. It's not original with me, but the author is unknown to me.

PONDERISMS

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people
die of natural causes.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can
die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the
depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals
dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one
talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention
to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world
is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a
whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about
him?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they
are going to look up there anyway?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from
vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive
faster?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
?