Prayer (or lack thereof)

As we approach a new year, I'm thinking, as I'm sure you are, of what needs to be done to advance God's kingdom this coming year.

Last year we baptized five people. I guess to most of you that doesn't seem like much, but to me it was really something. Our church is very small and it's been down for quite a while. I really, really, really prayed for fruit. I walked that sanctuary so many times. I got into that baptistry that had sat dry for many years and prayed again and again.

God blessed. But why don't I always pray like that? Why am I so hot and cold? Why is fervent, persistent, got-to-have-it-or-I'll-die praying so rare with me? I think the difference between me and the people God really blesses is that they are always like what I'm rarely like.

"You have not because you ask not." And I ask not because I want not. Or rather, as James says, I want but the things that I want are selfish, ungodly and worldly.

But at least at this moment, here I am, Lord. For the moment, I want godly things. I want conversions. I want baptisms. I want growth in my church. Not just spiritual growth. I want numeric growth. Don't know how long this will last but I'm asking now.

How about you? What does God want you to want?