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Pre-Marital Counseling Practices

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by GBC Pastor, Feb 23, 2010.

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  1. GBC Pastor

    GBC Pastor New Member

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    Many pastors I know have a wide array of views on this subject. Some require no pre-marital counseling, and one I know very well requires a ten week course. I was wondering what your particular practice was? Length of time? What kind of program do you use? Etc...
     
    #1 GBC Pastor, Feb 23, 2010
  2. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    We require premarital counseling and our program is 6 meetings. We usually set it up with the couple when they arrange the wedding at the church and we have about 8 couples who are trained to do it. We made up our own materials except we do use the Taylor-Johnson Temperment Analysis with the couple. With the TJTA, each person does the assessment for themselves and then does it again for how they think their fiancee would answer it. It then puts it all together for a very good opportunity for discussion. :) The premarital counseling is always done by a couple because for the last session, we break out into men and women to talk about intimate issues and it's just much more comfortable that way. Besides, a married couple can best counsel a married couple, IMO.
     
    #2 annsni, Feb 23, 2010
  3. Tom Bryant

    Tom Bryant Well-Known Member

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    We require a 4 week premarital counseling with the first session to decide if I can do the wedding. (By the way, I reserve the right at any point in the counseling to say no if circumstances warrant it). The next 3 deal with finances, how to have a fair fight and little stuff that doesn't fit into any real category.

    We rarely do marriages of non-church attenders but if they ask, i talk to them about salvation. If they don't attend, they must start attending our church until they marry. If they are living together, we ask (demand) that they get married immediately or separate until their wedding.
     
    #3 Tom Bryant, Feb 23, 2010
  4. TomVols

    TomVols New Member

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    In TN, the state requires PMC or you pay double for your marriage license. It is one of the worst laws ever passed. Now, anyone with a broom can do PMC, and everyone with a broom wants you to sign their form saying they've had it even though they haven't.

    I do a minimum of 5 hours, and I reserve the right not to do the ceremony up to the end of the ceremony. I ask for the license at the end of the 4th session. Sometimes, there's info on the license in this state that would be disclosed that some dishonest folks have yet to disclose.
     
    #4 TomVols, Feb 23, 2010
  5. preachinjesus

    preachinjesus Well-Known Member
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    We too have a state licensed/accredited program that lowers marriage license cost. The best part about it is that it is a HUGE front door ministry for us.

    I teach the class, with Mrs PJ, and we use an in house 6 week curriculum that covers topics like: God's reason for marriage, gender roles, finances (we have a financial professional talk with them), conflict resolution, how to lead a family spiritually (for men to know and women to hear), and we go through a personality assessment and give them results and how to understand each other.

    We use a highly integrated media presentation and try to keep it conversational. Its just a great time. We offer it three times a year and every class is packed.

    We then help assimilate these people into our group life. :)

    As a minister I ask the couple for a meeting ahead of time, then ask if they are planning doing a premarital counseling course, and go over some specifics about our standards at our church.
     
    #5 preachinjesus, Feb 23, 2010
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