Featured Question about God's will for marriage.

For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.
Genesis 2:24 NAS77

The father's authority over his daughter extends until she leaves her household and cleaves to her husband. That goes for you too. My wife advised all our children to marry orphans.

 

Short answer – Yes. Longer answer – I would be real careful about that.

The doctrine of the priesthood of every believer is a distinct teaching of Protestantism and is taught by every Baptist church I know. It is supported by many scriptures, but you might look first to I Pet 2:9, Rev 5:10, and I Tim 2:5. The bottom line is that you have direct access to God through prayer and he has direct access to you through the Holy Spirit. God does not reveal his will for you to your parents, spouse, or pastor. He reveals it to you! A woman may be under her father’s authority if she is still a child and still lives at home. She may be under her husband’s authority after she is married. But neither her father nor her husband can know God’s will for her life. God will reveal that to her alone.

That being said, parents, pastors, teachers, spouses, and others in our lives can be sources of wisdom and information we would be wise to listen to. If the parents of the potential spouse do not agree or have peace, then why don’t they? What is wrong with this relationship and what can be done to fix it?

When I asked my then future wife’s father for his blessing I asked for his blessing, not his permission, for I was convinced she was God’s will for me. I would have married her with our without his permission. Yet if his answer had been no, my response would not have been to run off and get married anyway. It would have been to ask him what I needed to do to earn his confidence and blessing, and then try to do whatever it took.

Yes, it could be God’s will and the parents not have peace, but be careful before you disregard their wisdom. God may well be speaking through them.

 

yes, can be the Will of God to have you marry another even when parents are against it, for they might not like your church, not be saved, or thought their child would marry someone 'different!"

 

Sometimes the objections though are based upon racial/ethnic prejudices, or being against certain christian churches, and thse are not valid reasons!

 

Until the father (or authority figure) of the girl is agreeable to the marriage, then it is unacceptable to go against their wishes.

Sad as it may seem, that is what is right both by the honor of parents and the tradition of the marriage bargain given by Scriptural example.

One does not steal the girl from authority and expect to have any real standing of authority over their own home.

In this situation, it is always best to meet with the parent(s), discuss the situation and discern the problem. If no agreement can be reached - walk away. As hard as it may be, and heartache is all to real, it is best to walk away.

 

the father CANNOT approve/deny the marriage if it is the very Will of God for them to wed, for many times the father reasons were not even biblical, and the Lord brought them 2 together to become one flesh, and to cleave to each other, and seperate from parents then!

IF the reasons the father does not want to give his approval are legit, such as person not saved, is a bad influence, cannot provide for himself etc, but many times just disagree on who they are, wrog church, not christian enough, wrong part of time, doesn't look right etc!

 

I know several couples who can trace bitter disputes back to marrying against the wishes of the parents. Parents can see things you can't. But even if the parent is serving himself in the prohibition, God's command is to honor father and mother.

It doesn't mean dump your loved one. It means wait.

I know of no divorced couple who had the full blessing of both sets of parents.

 

That might all be true, but are you saying with that the couple can NEVER marry without formal approval from the father?

thatwould make Him equal to God then, correct?

And isn't that more of the OT sense and structure of how the family unit was to oeprate then?

 

Your question is, when is okay to say unto your father and mother, it is corban.

How about asking how one can honor mother and father in the union? It's one of the Big Ten, and is the first one with a promise of blessing.

 

Honoring someone's wishes, and honoring the person, are two different things. My wife and I got married without my in laws blessing. They hated me. That was 8 years and 3 kids ago, and we're still going strong. Now my in laws love me and admit that they were wrong.

I knew it was God's will and so did she. Our pastor was OK with us getting married. My parents were OK with us getting married. The only thing my in laws had against me was my past.

 

I'm sure they felt honored to be disregarded. When it's time for one of yours to marry, and you aren't all excited about it (and it will be because you want the best for him or her) you won't have a testimony like the ones of whom Anne told us. On the contrary you have provided every reason for them to marginalize, if not completely disregard, your counsel. The first thing you will hear out of their mouths will be, well Grandma and Grandpa hated you, and you didn't do too bad (assuming things continue to go well with you.)

I've been married three times as long as you, and there is no one I know who will say what you have just said. Marrying against parents' wishes is, at best, unadvisable.

 

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It doesn't matter how they felt. Even if they felt dishonored, and I didn't honor their wishes, we still honored them and sought to bring them into our relationship. I went to her dad in person and asked what had to be done to reconcile us. He said there was nothing I could do. So I told him I was going to marry his daughter without his blessing.

And they'll have no leg to stand on when I describe the dysfunctional state of my in laws marriage at the time.

Irrelevant boasting.

Unadvisable? Yes. But not always unavoidable.

As to a previous claim you've made about not knowing of any divorced couple who had the parents full support and blessing, I can name three. One of them being my in law's other daughter and ex.
.

 

K.......................

 

That's how you discuss things? Take an entire post and indignify it with "k........."? There's a reason you have to have a minimum number of characters to post. It's not so you put periods after one letter. It's to encourage actual discussion.

And I have answered your claims. I'd appreciate an actual thought out response.

 

Girls should not be getting married. Neither should boys.

But grown women and grown men are no longer under their parents' authority. As such they can decide who to marry for themselves.

The wise ones will listen to the parents, discern if the advice given is Godly or selfish, and proceed accordingly.

And yep, you as an adult can honor your parents without obeying them.

The idea women are under dear old dad's authority until she marries--haven't found that in my Bible yet.