Question about marriage???

[TaliOrlando]

It’s about marriage.

I was asked by a young couple… would God honor a marriage in His presence.
Without ceremony, no priest, no pastor.. just them two stating their vows in God’s presence and accepting
the covenant of Marriage in faith and going on from there.

How would you answer?

Adam and Eve !! Who married them??

 

[Chemnitz]

I would tell them yes God would honor it, what makes a marriage isn't the ceremony or the slip of paper from the government but the giving of each other in a sacraficial loving relationship. However, I would tell them to avoid the appearance of sin they better go through the ceremony before living together or partaking in other marital privileges. I would have to wonder though if the couple was looking for a way to excuse a relationship they already knew was sinful.

 

[El_Guero]

Great answer, I agree.

 

[SBCPreacher]

I would tell them yes God would honor it, what makes a marriage isn't the ceremony or the slip of paper from the government but the giving of each other in a sacraficial loving relationship. However, I would tell them to avoid the appearance of sin they better go through the ceremony before living together or partaking in other marital privileges. I would have to wonder though if the couple was looking for a way to excuse a relationship they already knew was sinful.

I was looking for a way to put this into words. Thanks, Mr. Chemnitz.

 

[DeeJay]

It is against the law in most places, and theirfore still a sin.

I believe that marrage is a three way covenant between God and couple, couple and sociaty and man and woman. Just my opinion

 

[Scarlett O.]

Yes, they can be married before God without a civil or religious ceremony.

No, they cannot be married legally in the United States without it. They can technically after a certain period of time be called "common law" husband and wife, but that is just the government's way of calling two people "shacked-up" and not legally married.

I Peter 2:13-17 tells us that we are to be law-abiding citizens.

I cannot imagine for the life of me why, knowing that the law of our country demands a marriage license, why two people who were Christians would not get one.

The paper doesn't make you married before God, but it makes you married in the eyes of the community and before the law.

Why would two Christian people want to give the "appearance of evil"?

If they are wanting to avoid ceremony, then just go to a justice-of-the-peace.

If they are wanting to avoid expense, crowds, and silly traditions (like smashing wedding cake all over each other's faces, necks, and hair) then just have the pastor and the couple meet in the sanctuary.

There are all KINDS of ways to avoid traditions of men and still keep the law.

The bible says that we are to be law-abiding citizens. It also says that we are not to be a hindrance or a stumbling block to someone weaker in the faith.

And two young people, simply saying, "We married ourselves before God - we don't need a license", would be a hindrance and a stumbling block towards people weak in the faith, strong in the faith, and those having no faith at all.

Everyone who is a Christian, strong in the faith, knows, as far as being married in the eyes of God is concerned, that the license is immaterial, the words spoken by a government official or pastor are immaterial, and the traditions of men are definitely immaterial.

It's the heart of the two people being married, their commitment to each other and as a couple, to God, and finally, the consummation of the union that matters in God's eyes.

But we are to obey the law. Get a license.

And we are not to be a hindrance to others. Get a license.

And we to abstain from even the appearance of evil. Get a cotton pickin' license!!

Have it made official by the church or the government, but have it made official. It's truly important.

 

[Brother Bob]

I don't know if God would accept it or not being they are trying to sidestep the Law. I do know they would not be allowed membership in our church if they were considered "shacked up".

 

[Hope of Glory]

As long as the law of the land does not violate the laws of God, we are obligated to follow it. I can forsee the day coming when the marriage laws of the land will violate the laws of God, but for now, while I think God would accept it, they are still sinning.

 

[ccrobinson]

silly traditions (like smashing wedding cake all over each other's faces, necks, and hair)

Now you've gone and hit on one of my wedding pet peeves. My wife and I both HATE that "tradition". We did not do that at our wedding.

At the last wedding we were at, my wife noted that feeding each other a piece of cake is supposed to be symbolic of how the couple will take care of each other, and shouldn't be an excuse to humiliate each other. I think smearing wedding cake all over each other's face is very childish.

 

[Scarlett O.]

I always have to wonder when they do that.......why on EARTH would you spend thousands of dollars on a dress and hundreds of dollars on hair and make-up just to look like an idiot?

 

[Link]

I think the idea of a wedding couple having to say vows comes from Roman tradition rather than scripture.

In the Old Testament, for a virgin, the man would give the father the bride price and after a certain period of time, she would be his wife. It was a covenant with a bride price as a part of the deal. There were other ways of getting a wife, like marrying a dead relative's wife who did not have children.

The most detailed wedding ceremony we see in the OT that shows how it was done is when Boaz had some elders as witnesses and said that he had taken Ruth as wife when he paid another relatives for the dead relative's field. The law required elders to be present for someone rejecting his brother's wife. There is no evidence that they had to be present at a wedding. Of course, as leaders in a society where community was important, they probably were. There is no evidence that priests presided over wedding ceremonies.

Roman pagans had a custom where a man and woman stood before a certain pagan priest and said a few words, including the bride's word of consent. The giving or a ring was involved. I believe our wedding custom is a Christian adaptation to Roman tradition.

There are many different people groups in this world who have numerous ways of getting married. My wife's people group have this really long tiring party where they put these decorative clothes relatives make on your shoulders and sing, dance and give you small amounts of money. The couple's family give out pieces of a pig or waterbuffallo to various family members. Of course, they usually have the traditional Christian wedding as part of the long drawn-out process to. There are other customers aroundd here to

Honestly, I am not much in support of a couple 'saying a few words before God' and not involving parents (particularly the father, if living, to consent and give her away, whether or not an aisle in church is used or not, at least for non-widows.) But if there are people from other people groups or people who were married in other religions, i don't think they have to have a 'Christian wedding' unless for the sake of their own consciences or others'.

So the

 

[Joseph M. Smith]

It is not only that marriage is a legal contract and therefore must be undertaken with legal sanction, but also that it is a covenant and therefore ought to involve the "consent", in some way, of the community. The minister and attendants, etc., symbolize that.

I have a friend who says that he will not officiate at a "private" wedding, where no one is invited to attend other than the bride and groom. I won't go that far, but I do refuse to do ultra-private ones where there is some intent to hide the marriage. It is a public matter. That's why in some churches, there was the publication of "banns" for some time before the marriage ... so that the community could affirm or question the marriage, and particularly so that if anyone knew "just cause why these two may not lawfully be joined together" they could speak up.

By the way, I never use that phrase in a wedding, partly because I think it is not necessary now, with the marriage license process making that determination, and partly because I am afraid somebody WILL speak up!

Nor do I ever say, "by the authority vested in me by the District of Columbia" because I do not think primarily of empowerment by the government. Actually the Quaker way comes closest to what the original post was asking about .. where the couple exchange commitments to one another in the presence of the Friends, and there is no officiant per se. I guess somebody has to sign the license, but that's not much.

 

[Brother Bob]

My Wedding Vows
You will notice I removed the word "obey", I thought it wrong to ask someone to tell false.

DOUBLE RING WEDDING VOWS
Dear Beloved:
We are gathered here in the presence of Almighty God and these witnesses to join
and in Holy Matrimony. Marriage is an honorable estate given by God showing unto us the love Christ has for his church, and into this Holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined.
If any man can show just cause why this man and this woman may not lawfully be joined together, let him speak now, or else hereafter for ever hold his peace.
Marriage is a most solemn, sacred and serious union into which you now enter. Sacred because established by God Himself, Serious, because it binds you together in a relationship so close and intimate that your entire future will be profoundly influenced by it. Not knowing what is before you, you take each other for better or worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you apart.
You , Now, voluntarily and completely give your individual lives, to each other, that you are no longer two people but become as one. From this day forward you will belong to each other. You will be one in mind, one in heart and one in affection. If you are ready to accept each other for life and take upon you wedlock's holy vows, you may indicate this by joining right hands.
Do you, Take, whom you hold by the hand to be your lawful and Wedded wife, and do you solemnly promise and covenant, in the presence of Almighty God and these witnesses, that you will be unto her a loving and faithful husband until you shall be separated by death. (The man shall answer, "I do.")
Do you, Take, whom you hold by the hand to be your lawful and wedded husband, and do you solemnly promise and covenant in the presence of Almighty God and these witnesses to be unto him a loving, faithful wife, until you shall be separated by death. ( The woman shall answer "I do").
Who giveth this woman to be married to this man?
Man places ring on the third finger of the woman and repeat after me .
(With this ring I thee wed in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen).
Woman places ring on the third finger of the man and repeat after me.
(With this ring I thee wed in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen) .
For as much as and have consented together in Holy wedlock, and have witnessed the same before God:
By the power invested in me by Almighty God and the State of , and in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit I now pronounce this couple, Husband and wife, What God hath joined together let no man put asunder.
Let us Pray.
You may now kiss the Bride.
and I present to you Mr. and Mrs..
By: Brother Bob

 

[Hope of Glory]

Unless both bride and groom agree to it, I don't sanction the smashing of cake.

However, others realize that it's all in good fun, and they have at it.

They're taking care of each other, and they're still having a jolly good time.

 

[Link]

What about divination at weddings?

What's the difference between saying whoever catches the bouquet is getting married next and reading tea leaves or tarot cards?

 

[pinoybaptist]

I always have to wonder when they do that.......why on EARTH would you spend thousands of dollars on a dress and hundreds of dollars on hair and make-up just to look like an idiot?

:laugh: :laugh: :thumbs: :applause: