Redneck baptist church qualities?

Let's not fergit yonder member on the back row a'snorin'. He keeps me awake evr Sunday!

 

The Preacher's wife is so pretty she could make a hound dog smile.

 

"ooohwe Jasper, who put the fix'ins on ms Lily? We can see clear to the promised land!”

 

We make change from the offering plate (if we have an offering plate).

 

For those who don't know, those are swee'taters; and way down hyere we don't usually say the "o" on possum.

 

Ah s'pose a redneck church would do its baptizin' over there in yonder creek, even in the dead o' winter.

 

yippers, yous rite bout dat.

 

I resemble dem remarks..... ya'll orta be shamed of yerselves....

 

Wait, you mean people actually pronounce the “o”?? Guess y’all know where I fit in now...