Please, be gentle...
As the son of a godly Christian man who committed suicide when I was 10 years old, I would beg of everyone to handle the death of Dr. Baker with gentleness and great concern for those who have been left behind. Don't let this incident become a sideshow or a cause to see the webhits rise. Please handle this with wisdom, respect, and grace.
I do not understand all of the details behind the situation, but I do know from experience that the best thing that we all can do is to pray for, support, and encourage the family, the church, and the students, the staff of his church and school, that have been left behind. They are the victims of this crime (self-murder).
It's been 38 years since my father took his life, and I still cannot forget that day. To this day, it still hurts when people question my father's salvation. I'm grateful for the things he taught me in life. To love the Lord, to be faithful to church, to explore the Word, to stand for truth, and surprisingly, to love people and laugh even in difficult circumstances. What a wonderful thing to know that we are saved AND KEPT by the grace of God, not by our own faithfulness or obedience to God.
As horrible as it is, suicide is NOT the unpardonable sin. My father is in Heaven today in spite of the way his life ended; not because he was a good man, but because God is a good God who has given those who trust Christ an EVERLASTING life...even if one ends his own life on earth prematurely. I have never doubted my father's salvation, because I know that he loved the Word and the God Who keeps His promises.
I believe that Greg Baker is in heaven for the same reason - even though I hate the way he ended his life and the way he hurt his family in a way that only time (and LOTS OF IT) can heal.
My father's life of 33 years still touches the future today through the lives and ministries of his children and the grandchildren that he never met.
Even though the way he ended his life will always overshadow and leave questions in the minds of those who knew him, Dr. Baker's preaching of truth, godly counsel, and spiritual influence will live on for generations. God's Word never returns void, even when delivered by flawed messengers. (Aren't we all?)
Less than a week before my father committed suicide, my parents went to visit our pastor for counseling. He was depressed. Our pastor, who remains a dear friend, did not take my dad's depression seriously, and even joked about it, saying something like, "If my life was as bad as yours I'd just go out and shoot myself."
Five days later, my dad did just that - in his bedroom, while we were all home. No note, no explanation. Just a loud boom that still rings in my mind.
It's not my pastor's fault, but the comment he made that day in the early 70's is a mistake that I'm sure has haunted him for years. I've never had the courage to ask him, and see nothing good that could come of it. So, I've chosen to forgive it, learn from the mistake, forget it, and go on.
May those of us who counsel the depressed be extra careful as we attempt to help them through the clouds of doubt that loom over their heads.
Thankfully, my mother was a very wise woman who did not allow her husband's "ultimate act of selfishness" to make her a bitter person. She was a 33 year-old widow left alone to rear 5 children. My youngest brother was still in diapers when it happened. Thankfully, she handled it with grace and faith. Shortly after Dad's death, she found the strength to stand up in church and sing a song entitled, "I Will Trust When I Cannot See." No, she wasn't a perfect woman, but she was (and remains) a godly woman whose testimony has been an inspiration for hundreds of people.
It was 15 years before she filled me in on some of the events that led up to my dad's demise. I am the oldest of the 5 children that she raised. Because of the godly influence of Dad, and the continued faithfulness of Mom, I am in the ministry (between ministries at this time), my sister is a missionary's wife in Micronesia, my next brother is a missionary, the next brother is an evangelist, and the youngest is a faithful layman who is raising 4 boys for the Lord today. It's too bad that my father participated in this sin, which has been entitled, "a permanent solution to a temporary problem." Yet, whatever drove my father over the edge, it did not wipe out his influence.
Whatever notes Dr. Baker left behind, we will never really understand what was going on in his mind. Only God knows. The sad thing is that in this life those who are left behind will never get the true answer to the inevitable question of "why?"
There will always be people who question the sincerity of Dr. Baker's pre-death ministry and love for God. Praise the Lord for what He did for Christ. Praise the Lord for those who were genuinely saved under His ministry, and for those who were trained for God's service.
I never met Dr. Baker, but for obvious reasons, this incident has touched me deeply. I wonder if there are others who have had painful memories that have lain buried for years brought back to the forefront of their minds. We need to pray for them as well. This is a wound that will never go away until we get to Heaven and have the opportunity to find the answer to the question "why?". I hope that we can ask my dad, and Dr. Baker face to face when we get there. Maybe that will bring some of the tears that God will have to wipe away in that eternal land of joy.
If you think this will help someone, feel free to pass this information along or to post it. If not, that's fine, too. My desire is to help the hurting and glorify the God of all grace.
