Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?

[Humble Disciple]

Jesus knows that we cannot love Him perfectly as the Father does. Our love for Jesus will always fall short of the love His Father has for Him, and yet He loves us anyway.

Agape is God’s unconditional love, whereas philia is brotherly love. The first two times, Jesus asked Peter “Do you agape me?” and Peter responded “I philia you.”

The third time, Jesus asked “Do you philia me?” and Peter responded “You know all things, you know I philia you.”

Jesus knew Peter’s love for Him was the love from a brother or good friend, and yet He didn’t turn Peter away. We truly have a friend (John 15:14) and brother (Mark 3:34) in Jesus.

John 21
15 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love (Greek, agape) Me more than these?”He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love (Greek, philia) You.”He said to him, “Feed My lambs.”
16 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love (Greek, agape) Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love (Greek, philia) You.”He said to him, “Tend My sheep.”
17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love (Greek, philia) Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?”
18 And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love (Greek, philia) You.”

Why did Jesus ask Peter "Do you love me?" three times?

 

[rlvaughn]

In my opinion, the supposed difference in meaning in John 21:15-18 has achieved greater significance and/or distinction than it deserves. Not only quacks like me, but even well-known theologians have pointed this out. For example, D. A. Carson writes:

Although it is doubtless true that the entire range of αγαπάω (agapao, to love) and the entire range of φιλέω (phileo, to love) are not exactly the same, nevertheless they enjoy substantial overlap; and where they overlap, appeal to a "root meaning" in order to discern a difference is fallacious. In 2 Samuel 13 (LXX), both αγαπάω (agapao, to love) and the cognate ἀγάπη (agape, love) can refer to Amnon's incestuous rape of his half-sister Tamar (2 Sam. 13:15, LXX). (Exegetical Fallacies, p. 31)

This is well-demonstrated in the New Testament.

Where agapao and phileo are used as synonyms.
The Father loves the Son.
John 3:35 The Father loveth (agapao) the Son...
John 5:20 For the Father loveth (phileo) the Son…

The disciple whom Jesus loved.
John 21:20 Then Peter, turning about, seeth the disciple whom Jesus loved (agapao)…
John 20:2 Then she runneth, and cometh to Simon Peter, and to the other disciple, whom Jesus loved (phileo)…

The love of Christ for his churches.
Revelation 3:9 Behold, I will make them of the synagogue of Satan, which say they are Jews, and are not, but do lie; behold, I will make them to come and worship before thy feet, and to know that I have loved (agapao) thee.
Revelation 3:19 As many as I love (phileo), I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent

The love of Pharisees for the most important seats.
Matthew 23:6 and love (phileo) the uppermost rooms at feasts, and the chief seats in the synagogues,
Luke 11:43 Woe unto you, Pharisees! for ye love (agapao) the uppermost seats in the synagogues, and greetings in the markets.

The love of Jesus for Lazarus.
John 11:3 Therefore his sisters sent unto him, saying, Lord, behold, he whom thou lovest (phileo) is sick.
John 11:5 Now Jesus loved (agapao) Martha, and her sister, and Lazarus.
John 11:36 Then said the Jews, Behold how he loved (phileo) him!

The Christians’ love for one another.
1 Thessalonians 4:9 But as touching brotherly love (philadelphias) ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love (agapao) one another.
1 Peter 1:22 Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren (philadelphian), see that ye love (agapao) one another with a pure heart fervently:

Where Agapao and Phileo are used surprisingly (i.e. uses we would not expect to find if the unconditional love/brotherly theory were correct).

Agape love can wax cold.
Matthew 24:12 And because iniquity shall abound, the love (agapao) of many shall wax cold.

Should sinners’ reciprocal and sometimes self-serving love be described with God’s divine unconditional love?
Luke 6:32 For if ye love (agapao) them which love (agapao) you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love (agapao) those that love (agapao) them.

Should natural man’s love for darkness be described with God’s divine unconditional love?
John 3:19 And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved (agapao) darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.

Should backsliding Demas’s love for the world be described with God’s divine unconditional love?
2 Timothy 4:10 for Demas hath forsaken me, having loved (agapao) this present world…

Agapao can describe the love of sinful, evil, or wrong things.
John 12:43 for they loved (agapao) the praise of men more than the praise of God.
2 Peter 2:15 which have forsaken the right way, and are gone astray, following the way of Balaam the son of Bosor, who loved (agapao) the wages of unrighteousness;

Agapao can love much or love little.
Luke 7:47 Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved (agapao) much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth (agapao) little.
2 Corinthians 12:15 And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love (agapao) you, the less I be loved (agapao).

Phileo describes God’s love of man and man’s love of God.
John 16:27 for the Father himself loveth (phileo) you, because ye have loved (phileo) me, and have believed that I came out from God.

By comparing the scriptures we find that these are two different Greek words which can be used as synonyms, and in ways that do necessarily not fit the agapao = unconditional love theory. We cannot just look up which of these two Greek words is used and then assign an arbitrary “kind of love” to the meaning of the text. The words must be interpreted in their immediate context and their overall context of biblical usage.

 

[Humble Disciple]

The distinction between philia and agape explains why Jesus asked Peter three times. I'm talking about how the words are being used in context of John 21.

Jesus asks do you love me unconditionally, and Peter responds I love you like a brother.

Jesus asks again, do you love me unconditionally and Peter responds I love you like a brother.

Jesus then finally condescends down to Peter's level and asks do you love me like a brother and Jesus responds, yes, you know I love you like a brother.

The point I am basically making is that we shouldn't feel guilty if we don't love Jesus perfectly, as the Father does. Jesus loves us anyway.

Do you think we can love Jesus unconditionally?

 

[Humble Disciple]

The words must be interpreted in their immediate context and their overall context of biblical usage.

The immediate context would be Jesus asking Peter three times the same question, which might make more sense if Jesus and Peter were speaking of two different types of love.

 

[Van]

This is a sound thread, presenting biblical truth, from HB. I think sacrificial love rather than unconditional love best captures the meaning of "agape." And I disagree with those who claim that both kinds of love carry the same meaning. They mean different things, and we should embrace God's use of two different words to express a difference.

Billy Graham used a song, "Just as I am," to illustrate the same idea that Jesus will use us just as we are, a battered reed, or a lamp wick just about to go out, and enable us to serve Him, to feed His sheep. (Matthew 12:20)

 

[Van]

I see I flubbed again, in post #5, I referred to "HB" when I should have used "HD" for Humble Disciple. My bad...

 

[Ziggy]

In that whole passage there is not merely the interchange between αγαπάω and φιλεω, but also between οίδα and γινωσκω, then βοσκω and ποιμαινω, and also αρνιά and πρόβατα. Obviously something more is going on than just parallel synonyms, despite D. A. Carson's views on the matter.

I actually think the Apostle John knew *precisely* what he was stating....

 

[Humble Disciple]

Billy Graham used a song, "Just as I am," to illustrate the same idea that Jesus will use us just as we are, a battered reed, or a lamp wick just about to go out, and enable us to serve Him, to feed His sheep. (Matthew 12:20)

Yes, that's exactly what I mean.

 

[rlvaughn]

In that whole passage there is not merely the interchange between αγαπάω and φιλεω, but also between οίδα and γινωσκω, then βοσκω and ποιμαινω, and also αρνιά and πρόβατα. Obviously something more is going on than just parallel synonyms, despite D. A. Carson's views on the matter.

I actually think the Apostle John knew *precisely* what he was stating....

If we believe in the inspiration of Scripture, there is no doubt that John got it right. However, a few clarifications are in order. Carson’s comments are in his chapter on root fallacies. Neither he (nor I) are claiming there is no difference in the range of meaning of agapao and phileo, but that the meaning cannot be arbitrarily assigned simply on the use of one of these words or the other. That is what the OP does, and that is what I was addressing.

Agape is God’s unconditional love, whereas philia is brotherly love.

Jesus asks do you love me unconditionally, and Peter responds I love you like a brother.

I think today the majority of Bible students is predisposed to see the distinction between agapao and phileo much as is expressed in the OP. However, Richard C. Trench (1807–1886), noted philologist (scholar of words), turns that idea upon its head – basically almost the opposite as we see it posited today. Trench does not like the King James translation of this passage, but on the other hand relates agapao to “esteem” and phileo to “love”. Discussing these synonyms, he writes,

In that threefold “Lovest thou Me?” which the risen Lord addressed to Peter, He asks him first, ἀγαπᾷς με; At this moment, when all the pulses in the heart of the now penitent Apostle are beating with a passionate affection toward his Lord, this word on that Lord’s lips sounds far too cold; to very imperfectly express the warmth of his affection toward him. The question in any form would have been grievous enough (ver. 17); the language in which it was clothed makes it more grievous still. He therefore in his answers substitutes for the ἀγαπᾷς of Christ the word of a more personal love, φιλω σε (ver. 15). And this he does not on the first occasion only, but again upon the second. And now at length he has triumphed; for when his Lord puts the question to him the third time, it is not ἀγαπᾷς any more, but φιλεις. Trench, Synonyms of the New Testament, pp. 42-43.

I am not saying Trench is right, but that the different understandings of these two words should advise us to move with caution, as well as letting the context drive their connotation rather than pre-assigned definitions.