Spanking and the Bible

[MaryKate]

I have a question on spanking. What is everyones take on these verses in Proverbs 13:24,23:13-14?
Alot of people have taken the rod a different way and I was just wondering what the correct meaning of these verses are and is spanking bibical and if it is then how is it to be done? People(mainly non-christians) take spanking to be beating your child black and blue and I KNOW that is not right because I think that would be considered abuse. I would be thankful for any insight you have on this topic.Thanks!

 

[Pastor_Bob]

MaryKate,

I think you'll find that most people are very hesitant to talk about this subject on a public forum. It is so easy to be misrepresented and have your words, motives, and methods taken out of context. CLICK HERE to see atragic example. Take time to read the related stories at the bottom of the page to get the whole story.

I recommend you listen to a message by Dr. S.M. Davis who Pastors right there in Illinois. He offers a very biblical approach to this subject.

God Bless,

Pastor Bob

CLICK HERE for more information.

 

[Su Wei]

can asingaporean reply then?

but not now coz the babies arecrying...

 

[MaryKate]

I understand what you meant,Pastor Bob, about people taking what you said out of context etc. I have had that happen to me before. So I do understand! Thanks!

 

[Abiyah]

May I give a very blunt answer?

With regard to the writer of the Proverbs, our Lord called him the wisest man, but I am sure our Lord did not agree with everything he wrote. Also, being wise does not guarantee that one is either smart or wise in all things, which is obvious by Solomon's interesting choices for his life. What kind of a father was he to his many children of his many wives and concubines? I doubt, but do not know, that he truly fathered any of his many children.

Solomon was also reared by a man who was obviously not a successful father, if success is measured by his children's life-choices. He was also the husband of many as well as the father of many. However, because of Solomon's mother, he probably received more care and fathering than did the others in his household; the Bible does not say, specifically.

But if I were going to get advice for parenting, i would not turn to Solomon. When his writings are mentioned by biblical teachers, they are often mentioned with this disclaimer: "Solomon was wise, but what he wrote are not biblical promises." How true. As Pastor Bob alluded to, when Solomon said to beat the child, he will not die, we know better today. Too many children have died and/or been severely injured by their parents' beatings.

So it comes down to your own wisdom, not Solomon's, and your own conscience.

Your conscience: Hone it. Listen to it. When you feel that little prick in your conscience, it is telling you something important. Don't ignore it. Whatever you do, don't ignore it!

 

[gb93433]

We must remember that Proverbs are collections of wise sayings that are principles and not promises. I have seen too many talk about training a child up in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. If these were promises we wouldn't have any wayward children of godly parents. We do know that some of the most evil leaders in the world have been exposed to christianity. Yet they have chosen to go their own way. It is genrally true that when you raise your children to be godly men and women that they will follow their parents in that way. But there are no guarantees.

One only has to take a look at Judas and Jesus and Eli and his sons.

 

[NaasPreacher (C4K)]

Sorry Abiyah but I disagree totally here. Solomon's wisdom is God's wisdom - for the fear of the Lord is the very beginning of wisdom. Proverbs is God's Word, not Solomon's opinions. Whether we would agree on corporal punishment or not, we should not discredit the Word of God.

 

[Abiyah]

Originally posted by Christ4Kildare:
Sorry Abiyah but I disagree totally here.

I certainly understand your sentiments, and I don't mind being disagreed with!

 

[Abiyah]

oops!

 

[Su Wei]

Phew, thanks CHrist4Kildare.
If the Lord did not agree with Solomon, He would not have allowed Proverbs in the Bible, would He?
The Word of God is so important to God, He esteems it higher than His own name!

Psalms 138:2 I will worship toward thy holy temple, and praise thy name for thy lovingkindness and for thy truth: for thou hast magnified thy word above all thy name.

We are going to be judged out of His word one day, why should He put little traps in there to trip us????

Revelation 20:12 And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.

I love the promises of Proverbs! They are my guiding light for parenting!!!

 

[I Am Blessed 24]

MaryKate:

I agree with Pastor Bob on this one. S.M.Davis is a very Godly man and also my Pastor. This video would be well worth your money and time.

He may also have a cassette tape of the message which would be much cheaper. If you would like to go that route, let me know and I will see if he has one.

§ue

 

[Thankful]

I don't know what S. M. Davis says so I cannot agree or disagree.

Personally, I just do not believe in spanking.

I do believe in disciplining a child and guiding a child.

Spanking may bother some children, but usually one must find a way that will really punish the child other than abuse him.

Oops, I posted and I wasn't through. More later.

 

[NaasPreacher (C4K)]

There is a HUGE diference between godly, Bible-based corporal chastening and abuse.

 

[Thankful]

I agree, Christ4Kildare.

A woman in my Sunday School Class stated that she would not keep her grandchildren if she couldn't spank them.

I have seven grandchildren ages 6-18 and I have never spanked one of them and they behave they have always behaved when I kept them. I'm not saying that they have always been perfect, but I didn't have to spank them to get them to act the way I thought they should.

I did spank my children when they were small, but I learned quickly that was not the way to discipline them. My daughter would tremble if I raised my voice to her. No need to spank and I didn't raise my voice after I saw the effect it had on her.

 

[Abiyah]

Agreed, Thankful, to a T. I do not and will not spank, but I do understand parents who do it, and will not condemn those who use it very sparingly as well as carefully. It is mainly that some people have no idea that discipline is not equal to striking a child.

 

[Su Wei]

I guess we've seen too many bad examples of adults losing their tempers and lashing out at the children to think that God actually commands the use of the rod for child training..

My husband and i are agreed on obeying God's command to chasten our children with the rod.
I think this is very important that dad and mom back each other up in the training process.

Here's the procedure.

We give a verbal warning when an offense is commited for the first time.

On the second occasion, we will ask the child to comply with our command or get punished.

If the child chooses to disobey, they go to "the room".

We inform the child that because of what they have done, they will receive x number of strokes. (Depending on the severity of offense)
proceed to spank, on the buttocks and count out the number of strokes.

After the child is done crying, (we also tell the child to control their crying), we explain again why they were spanked. And they then have to apologise for the offense. And parent says forgiven and hug the child and assure the child of our love.

Followed by whatever restitution that needs to be done, whatever the offense was-
be it apologising to sibling and huggging. Or cleaning up a mess they made etc.

That's our procedure. It takes God's grace and help for us to carry it out faithfully, calmly and lovingly.

 

[Su Wei]

We find the Pearls very helpful too. (Though i guess some would not)

[ December 19, 2003, 12:22 PM: Message edited by: dianetavegia ]

 

[Abiyah]

Su, I will readily admit that my personal disgust for spanking is partially (maybe more than I know) based upon childhood mistreatment. However, I used other methods, and they worked. Unlike you, I cannot sit here and say that Solomon's words are the words of our God. I also see no references to our Lord teaching spanking or doing it. His actions, as stated in the Bible, were great tenderness and guidance toward them, encouraging, advising, etc. Rather than following in the footsteps of Solomon, I would follow in our Lord's footsteps.

As for Pearls, I would cast them before swine! :-D

And Su, please remember that I, too, am stating an opinion, not fighting against you. I have my opinion, based upon experience and how my grown children turned out. Perhaps they only turned out so well because of our Lord! Who knows? Maybe what I did/didn't do had no influence!

 

[MaryKate]

Wow! Thanks everyone for giving me so many replys!I also think that is good that as christians we can disagree but in a christian manner! Thanks again!

 

[Su Wei]

Yes, thank you Abiyah for disagreeing so graciously. Now, again, I'll try my best.

And i'm saddened to hear of your own experience. The Lord never intended it that way.

My own parents never used the rod. Instead, my mother "tongue-lashed" me. The wounds on my heart are still there but by God's grace, it's past.

Jesus didn't refer to spanking directly. No. But He warns about the eternal punishment that is far far worse than the human equivalent of the rod.

That is why, we are to use the rod to deliver their souls from hell.

Proverbs 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

And when we use His prescribed method, we teach our children the consequences of sin and one day, we can point them to the One who took the stripes on our behalf to purchase our salvation.