Spanking

[untangled]

Hey Brothers and Sisters,

Just wondering how many of you have actually spanked your kids. I see less and less people doing it these days. I'm not talking about beating or abusing a child. Sometimes it is necessary.

I've seen how some kids act towards their parents and it blows me away. The other day I saw a kid, probably about eight tell his mother to shut up, his mother did nothing. My mouth dropped! I was about speechless. My parents spanked me sometimes but only when it was truly necessary. I do believe it did me some good. I wasn't a bad kid or anything.

If I would have said something to my parents like "shut up" or "you idiot" I would still be waddling everywhere I go.

Do you spare the rod?


In Christ,

Brooks

 

[Artimaeus]

I don't have any kids myself but, I was a teacher for 16 years and I used a paddle on occasion. It is an effective tool when used sparingly and justly.

 

[James_Newman]

It is doubly effective when spread liberaly over the affected area.

Proverbs 13:24
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

God said it, not me. If you don't spank your children, you hate them.

 

[danrusdad]

I don't give spankings, I hit for distance!

Just kidding!

We absolutely spank; it's unbiblical NOT to.

 

[dianetavegia]

Nick is 10 in December and has been swatted on a clothed bottom 2 times in his life. He's like I was / am. Born with good old Southern Baptist Guilt. He cannot lie and confesses everything he's ever done. A child with true remorse who confesses his wrongs doesn't need spanking.

The grown three got a couple of spankings as very young children (NOT toddlers!). There's a big difference between a spanking and swatting a toddlers bottom or a no-no and hand swat.

A calm and consistent parent can avoid a lot of problems! Also, a parent who spanks for everything removes the effectiveness of spankings. A parent who ignores their child's bad behavior and then flips out and spanks is guilty too. Parenting is a 24 hour a day job that never ends.

BTW.... in Biblical times, a rod was also used as a measuring device/ time telling.

Raise up a child in the way he should go.... The word Raise Up (got this from either Sue's preacher or Blackbird's preaching tapes...) is the same word used concerning the Jewish midwives. They would smear a sweet jelly substance on the breast of a new mother so the infant would latch on to nurse. In essence, create a hunger for.... If we create a hunger for God's word and God's will.... he will not depart from it when he is old.

 

[donnA]

We raised our kids spanking them. I've seen too many kids who've never had a spanking in their lives, like to bend them over my knee too.

 

[Gina B]

Be wise and cautious with what you say to large groups of strangers. Many people believe spanking is physical abuse and won't hestitate to try to find your info and report you. A number of state agencies would agree with them.
Gina

 

[blackbird]

Maybe those state agences need a spankin' from a higher agency!!!

Get it??????

 

[untangled]

Thanks for the replies.

Gina,

I have to agree. Some people take things out of hand. However, the hypocritical thing is that our schools can take a big paddle and wear a child out but if a parent disciplines out of love then they could get in trouble.

My father did not spank much. He didn't need to. But when it was necessary he did. He never did it out of anger though. He is a very loving, gentle person. People can take it to the extreme though. My father-in-law spanked my wife when she was little all the time - for everything. She once was running in the front yard and he told her to stop running. By the time he had said that she fell and broke her arm. Before taking her to the hospital he had his belt out "instilling discipline into her". That's too much.

 

[James_Newman]

Thats probably some good advice, Gina.

John 16:2
They shall put you out of the synagogues: yea, the time cometh, that whosoever killeth you will think that he doeth God service.

But nevertheless, God says spanking your child is a godly thing to do. He chastens us as a loving parent, and we would be remiss not to do the same. Some children require a bit more than others, but there never was a perfect child but one. As for a rod, it may have multiple meanings, but I think this one speaks for itself:
Proverbs 23:13
Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

 

[NaasPreacher (C4K)]

I will not say what we did raising on six, but we did APPLY the principles listed in Proverbs. I am sure we made mistakes, but strove to do so in a biblical, loving manner.

 

[USN2Pulpit]

I agree that spanking is a necessary part of discipline. But I also agree with Diane that it's not the only way we should use "the rod." Remember, the shepherds rod was for gentle guidance and nudging as well!

Often when we think of "the rod," we think only of spankings, but that's not all it was for.

 

[dianetavegia]

USN2, I'm SO glad our heavenly Father doesn't punish us to the extent some parents do! We'd all be burning in hell.

 

[James_Newman]

I think that is a very presumptuous statement to make, Diane.

Hebrews 12
5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him:
6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.
7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness.

Scourge, v. t.
1. To whip severely; to lash.

2. To punish with severity; to chastise; to afflict, as for sins or faults, and with the purpose of correction.

This does not sound like a little swat on the backside, it sounds more like what was done to our Lord before He was nailed to a tree.

John 19:1
Then Pilate therefore took Jesus, and scourged him.

En*dure", v. t.
1. To remain firm under; to sustain; to undergo; to support without breaking or yielding; as, metals endure a certain degree of heat without melting; to endure wind and weather.

2. To bear with patience; to suffer without opposition or without sinking under the pressure or affliction; to bear up under; to put up with; to tolerate.

The bible says God deals with us as sons *IF* we endure the scourging. But we are warned not to despise His chastening. How would we despise it? By not enduring it. When we hold God's chastening in contempt and consider ourselves to be above it.

DESPISE, .v.t.
1. To contemn; to scorn; to disdain; to have the lowest opinion of.

God will chasten us if we require it, and as long as we endure it and respond to it properly, with repentence and godly sorrow for sin, we are received as sons. But what parent would not eventually give an unruly child up to the world? When we despise the chastening of the Lord, He may well give up on chastening us in this life, but that doesn't mean we won't be more severely chastened in the next.

 

[TaterTot]

We spank for the worst offenses. Ours are almost 4 and 2 1/2. The youngest definitely understands what she is doing and definitely understands spankings. When we have to spank, we always explain why we are doing it (which they already know) and tell them that we love them, but we can't let them do things that are wrong.

We also use "time out" and positive reinforcement for good behavior (stickers/charts).

 

[Dr. Bob]

In the old days we spanked our children on occasion, but always in private. We were always "in the fishbowl" (pastor in a small town) and every action was watched. It was just wise to be careful.

But corporal punishment (in private, but generally for serious offenses - sounds way too military, doesn't it?) is biblical and correct.

 

[dianetavegia]

My brother got plenty of spankings while my mother was very angry. He's spent quite a number of nights in jail (never prison tho), lived in the woods and eaten out of dumpsters and has been an alcoholic for about 35 years. He's also been married and divorced 5 times. Every court ordered psychiatrist he's seen has blamed his sociopath personality on my mother. My 78 year old father and his wife take care of my brother now.

I think each child needs to be dealt with according to their own temperament. Some can be talked to and some can have things taken away. Others need a spanking for repeated or the worse offenses. I don't think every offense calls for spankings. Seems like it would take away the effectiveness.

A disappointed look would break my heart as a child.

 

[superdave]

I have one like that Diane, I look crosswise at her and she apologizes and begins to weep.

The other will cross her arms and say "humph"

Still, reality discipline is a much more effective tool. spanking or any immediate get it over with type of punishment might work on a 18 month old to gain simple obedience, but it doesn't do very much at all toward getting to the heart issues that cause the behavior.

Take away Hallie's privilege to watch TV or threaten her with missing an upcoming event like a birthday party or something, and her desire to obey increases ten-fold. A spanking would be forgotten in 2 minutes. Plus, the lecture from dad (or worse, from her mother) is usually much more painful than any physical pain I would be willing to inflict on a child, since we don't stop at simple obedience and won't leave her alone until the attitude has been adjusted.

As far as the appropriatness of spanking, it should always be done in private, and anywhere outside of your home is not private, too many cameras ,etc. If you have to take your child out of the grocery store and drive them home, do it. It will probably be a more memorable experience anyway (unless you get arrested), and that is what you are going for.

 

[dianetavegia]

We went through about 6 months of Nick calling us into his room every night to repent of something he had done in the past. 'I put a marble in my mouth when I was three years old' type things. That was just a few months before he accepted Christ.

The children I keep will ask him to 'tell Morgan we aren't here today' type things and he'll tell them... 'I can't lie.' He's a good boy with a messy room.

 

[joyfulkeeperathome]

We don't not spank.....