freeatlast
New Member
Stage one trust on God, stage two trust in God, stage three trust in God, stage four revert to stage one.
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Stages of grief
- Thread starter agedman
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Of course there should be a reliance on Him, but reliance doesn't mean we lose the attatchment to the one who is gone.
freeatlast
New Member
The attachment has to go when a loved one passes because no attachment to the dead is normal or healthy, but memories may remain. However even memories should not be what the person dwells on as such can be signs that the person is not looking to the Lord in the present for comfort.
I want to thank each for their contribution.
What a joy to see that some have actually provided Godly counsel and been a guide to the hurting souls.
I would offer this short anecdote.
The ten year old fidgeted in the seat while the paper sat quietly in front of him. Eyes darting from board, to floor to desk, to window, to other children, to books, to pictures... with outwardly no purpose. The unrelenting restlessness had been the bane for the children and teacher; no amount of redirection seemed to work. In talking to the teachers of the past, it seems that the behavior has grown steadily worse sense the initial onset in the midst of third grade.
Family history indicates that this child had a brother, two years older than him, who was murdered in what some called "collateral damage" during a gang retaliation in the neighborhood.
What Godly counsel would you provide to guide the child?
What a joy to see that some have actually provided Godly counsel and been a guide to the hurting souls.
I would offer this short anecdote.
The ten year old fidgeted in the seat while the paper sat quietly in front of him. Eyes darting from board, to floor to desk, to window, to other children, to books, to pictures... with outwardly no purpose. The unrelenting restlessness had been the bane for the children and teacher; no amount of redirection seemed to work. In talking to the teachers of the past, it seems that the behavior has grown steadily worse sense the initial onset in the midst of third grade.
Family history indicates that this child had a brother, two years older than him, who was murdered in what some called "collateral damage" during a gang retaliation in the neighborhood.
What Godly counsel would you provide to guide the child?
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My attachment to the wonderful memories of my great and Godly grandparents are what BRINGS me comfort. My parents - who had wonderful relationships with their parents still cry from time to time and get a little sad. It's the precious, precious memories and the hope of seeing them again that keeps my parents at peace.
To deny those who grieve the chance to hang on to precious memories and enjoy them as a way to deal with grief is not wise.
This will be my last post to you personally. What you have said here that I have quoted you saying is proof to me that you are either a troll or someone in need of counseling yourself.
There is nothing that I could say to make you see how wrong you are - ergo, reading and replying to your posts will only frustrate me and I have no time for that.
I know it won't make one bit of difference to you, but I just can't read your posts anymore.
Peace to you
freeatlast
New Member
First deal with him about his salvation. Then deal with him about the memories he has because of his anger and un-forgiveness towards those who took his brother from him by letting him know that God allowed this to happen and we are not to question God. Teach him that the love of God for him who has sinned against God means we are to also show our love towards those who has wronged us. God must be allowed to do with whom he wishes what he desires and we have no right to question Him. Teach him to just trust the Lord with all His heart and not lean to his own understanding.
Show him that for him to honor God he needs to completely forgive and live his life in a Christ honoring way which means that he set his heart and mind on learning from those who God has given him to teach him. So confession and forsaking, not drugs.
That would be a case of helping him to process what happened, assure him that God is still in control and allow him to cry, scream and ask a lot of questions. It will take quite a bit of time to work him through this but it can happen and he can then learn to frame what happened in the light of God's truth.
There is nothing wrong in what you post, but you missed the mark
Try reading the anecdote without your preconceived notions.
Not that anything you said was wrong.
There is a key or "trigger" that so far is missed.
Look back at the anecdote and see what it might be.
How do you know that he's angry?
How do you know he has unforgiveness?
How do you know that he is questioning God?
You mean that his brother was killed? Yes, I addressed that.
Then please enlighten me.
I pity you if that is the way you really think it should be. It's not healthy.
Look at the time frame.
Why would the child grow increasingly fidgety and eyes darting about?
The trigger in the child of the anecdote is, because two years before, the brother was murdered. From that time, the child has not asked how, but when. At first the grief probably manifested as a lack of concentration and distraction by sudden changes, and the issues have grown as the child approaches the same age as the brother at the time of being murdered.
He is scared.
He is wondering when his life will be suddenly taken. :tear:
The point of the anecdote was to show that often there are more clues than the stages of grief and to why a person may seem stuck in a stage.
The triggers of the growing anxiety and behavior differences in children are often overlooked.
Childhood depression and anxiety is not usually manifested the same way and with the same awareness that adults bring, and often the solutions are not found by looking through the eyes of the adult world schemes.
Was this journey into guidance enjoyable?
I hope so!
Is it possible that this thread might be a place were we can share anecdotes along with good counsel?
:type:
freeatlast
New Member
What mark and what anecdote?
freeatlast
New Member
I DON’T know, but based on the scenario that is a good place to start. If that is not the issue then there is another one involving sin and that is what has to be dealt with. His refusal to pay attention is controllable by him and that in itself is sin so what ever the reason it has to be determined by further counseling, but what I stated would be the logical reasons based on what was given.
freeatlast
New Member
No it was a tragedy as you offered no hope to the child and he would remain in his condition. He needs to be pointed to trust in God for all his needs and to confess and forsake anything that would hinder that. You failed miserably in pointing him to an overcoming life..
None of your post was the point of the anecdote.
Nor, was any counsel of guidance suggested by the anecdote.
The point of the post was to present a scenario before guidance and counsel was to begin and to encourage the reader's insight into the child's problem and what was the actual "trigger."
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