Submission to Husband vs. Church

Hmm. From what you wrote, it doesn't sound as though the husband has forbidden his wife to attend the other two services, in which case, I'd say that she is permitted to go, if she chooses to. He has not forbidden it, and she is led to attend. No problem.

That said, I don't think that it is a Biblical mandate that we attend meeting every time the doors are open, so even if he did rather her not go, and she, desiring to please him, does not go to the other two services, this would not violate anything, except perhaps the church's rules, which are not the rules to which we as Christians are bound. Again, no major problem, other than wondering why a husband would forbid his wife from participating in activities he does not, but it's not an immediate concern.

 

Submitting to authority in this context is not equivalent to submitting to another's will. That's the difference between a church and a cult.

A wife who desires to go to church X times a week, while her husband desires to go on only Sundays, is certainly within her biblical right to, so long as the biblical responsiblity to family is not compromised.

It would be the same thing if you decided you wanted to "go out with the girls" one night. The husband has no authority to forbid you from going.

 

One of the elements involved for me would be really finding out what is going on in my husband's life.
For example, if he was "backsliding" and displaying a cold heart, I would continue to go and not put up with him blaming his cold heart on my attendance.
On the other hand, maybe he is being nudged by God towards a different church.
Sometimes a church has unrealistic expectations.

Karen

 

johnv said:

I disagree. If the husband says he doesn't want his wife to go out with the 'girls' one night a week.... the wife should NOT go out! That is not submitting to her husband. According to MY Bible, my husband has the authority to tell me to stay at home and I am to submit to his decision.


Laurenda:

Where does it say that the church can insist on attendance? I've not ever noticed any scripture about this and certainly never been in a church that mandated attendance!
Diane

 

Hmmm, you raise a ver interesting question, Wisdom. I would say, the scripture says that wives are subject to their husbands, not slaves. I would also say, just like the church will sometimes stray from the path, sometimes a wife, or a husband, will too.

One things you have to realize though, is our first priority is to the church. Christ is the bridegroom of the church, who is the church, we are. Therefore, Christ is our husbandman. What he has commanded, we should do. That takes priority over what your earthly husband says.

Read 1 Corinthians Ch. 7. It doesn't exactly address this, but it says what the duty of a wife, who has an unbelieving husband, is.

All in all, I would say, do what you feel is best. Pray to God. Of course, don't neglect your duties at home.

BTW, where does the church get the right to hold services everyday? and, demand that a member be there? Sounds a little unreasonable to me. I would probably find a different church. If they can't understand why someone couldn't come to church everyday, then they are not being realistic.

We're not talking about you, are we WS?

Bro. James

 

I think that if the husband is wanting you to sin,you then obey God first...but,if it is a church rule,it is really not biblical(church attendance is not a biblical command) and you want to do what your husband wants,I think it is fine. Hopefully your church will understand. They should aiming for the biblical things to be obeyed,and not worry so much over man made rules.

I think church attendance should be encouraged by church leaders,though.

 

The church does NOT have the power to say you have to go to church every day. The Pastor should encourage us to attend church but has no authority to demand attendance.

Our first submission is to Christ, not the church. It should always be God first, husband second. "Submit yourselves to your own husbands as UNTO THE LORD".

If a husband is not 'forbidding' the wife to go to church, I see no reason for her not to go. If he is forbidding her to go, then she should stay home and PRAY God will soften her husband's heart.

I have heard 'backsliding' described this way:
"If you are not as close to God as you were yesterday, you are backslidden".

JMHO for what it's worth...
Sue

 

Biblical authority does not give a husband command over his wife. This is an abuse of biblical authority, probably the most common abuse abong Christian men, imo. A Godly man would never abuse his authority in thie manner, and a Godly woman would not submit to this abuse of it, lest she favor its abuse.

Man, you sure to ask a lot of questions Mind if I put in my $.02?

And if the wife wants to submit to her husband in all things like the Bible says. And has no desire to defy him on this subject. Is she outside of the will of God?
So long as doing so does not cause harm in the marriage or thos in it. OTOH, sometimes, it's not a "right or wrong" choice, it's simply a matter of "neither is wrong". Those choices are often more difficult, imo.

What if her going to church all the time causes him to not want to go at all?
Then it may be damaging to the marriage. Too much of anything, even church, is not necessarily a good thing.

What if it causes rifts in the marriage? What then?
Then you work on healing the rift. Put God ahead of people, but do not put people behind church. God anc church are not synonymous.

The church has the power to say you have to go to church every day. Should the churches authority be respected more than the husbands authority in the home? Why or why not?
Churches, too, can abuse authority. I've seen it happen with my own two laser-surgery-corrected-20/15 eyes.

Is there a scripture that says that the churches authority on the number of services attended takes presidence over the husbands leading in the family?
No.

If a wife were to defy her husbands decision on this subject to obey the church, would she be out of God's will for her role in the family?
Remember, the church institution is not "the Church" biblically. The "Church" in the Bible referrs to the faith in Christ that is found among a body of believers. A church does not have biblical authority to interfere with the covanent of marriage.

Should she sacrifice her relationship to obey what the church decides? How is this backed up by scripture? No, and it isn't.

 

This is incorrect. Read Paul's discussion of marriage. It was created, in Genesis, as a mystery to image forth the relationship of Christ to the church. As such, the family (which is what is created when a man and women unite in marriage) takes a higher priority than the church. This shouldn't cause too much problem, however, for the church (and pastor) that recognize that intact, strong, and God glorifying families are the foundation for intact, strong, and God glorifying churches.

I'm sure that I'm not the only one here who has witnessed a pastor (or lay leader) utilize a heavy hand in favor of the church over the family with damaging results to both.

Let's take the question posed in the original post in this thread differently. Let's suppose that there is a serious problem that has arisen within a family that needs to be resolved immediately. Should one spouse leave to go to church or stay and deal with the problem? One's answer will say a lot about how one see's Scripture's discussion of the institutions of family and the church.

 

You say the husband doesn't want to go but once a week. But does he insist the wife do the samething? Can she go without him? As long as he doesn't demand she stay home from church I see no reason she couldn't go if she wanted to. Unless he isists she stay home, then she is not disobeying anyone,and is not outside God's will. You aren't going to refute scripture, and you aren't disobeying that scripture(eph.5:22) as long as the husband does not insist she not go to church.
Also I don't think the bible tells us how many times a week to got to church, we are not give any instruction on how many, and even one time a week if assembling together.

Oh, an if my husband said I couldn't go with friends somewhere I wouldn't go. I also wouldn't go out once a week while I left him at home, I like being with him and don't like being away when he's available. My husband usually will not tell me I can't go somewhere, but I usually choose not to if he's at home. I do on occasion go to church without him, he always goes Sunday am, but not always the rest of the week(I do have to say his pratice is to go 2 or 3 times a week though)

 

I just want to reiterate that a husband telling the wife what to do is not what is meant by "authority". Therefore, when a husnabd says "jump" and the wife decides not to jump, that is not usurping biblical authority.

On all other points, I'd be inclined to agree with you.

But you already know I do

 

Then as long as our husband doesn't assert his authority in an inappropriate manner, and you've agreed to be subject (in other words, trust in him), then I see no problem, because it's clear that the two of you have a healthy marriage.

Where can I get one of those???