Lilith - All I can say to you is that you've put in your profile that you are a "True Christian" and that you "Love God". However, you don't worship Him when Jesus Himself said "But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship him. 24God is spirit, and those who worship him must worship in spirit and truth." (John 4:23-24)
It sounds like you have distain for the sacrifice at the cross - the sacrifice that opened heaven to us - opened a way for us to approach the Throne of Grace. Yes, Jesus showed us some great things but His purpose in coming to earth was to die on that cross - and to raise from the dead days later - conquering death and it's hold on us.
Lastly - God's Word is strong and powerful and it's our 'user's manual' for us from God. It tells us of what God has done for us, what He wishes for us and what the future is going to be for us! I love God's Word!! We are to mediate on it day and night.
I pray that you will find the true Christ and not the 'politically correct', wishy-washy nice little man that some want Him to be. He is the Creator of the universe - WAY more than just a nice guy.