Too Much Time Around Kids

The only thing I try to keep myself from doing is treating my hubby like I do the kids. After being at home with them all day, I tend to treat the hubby like a child if I am not careful, of course he reminds me (sweetly) that he is not one of the children, and I usually figure out what he is talking about. Hubby is going to send me on a 3 day weekend though on my B-Day to get some much needed "mommy time" off.
In Christ, Peggy

 

Yes Mr. Jim I do believe so. I am around my kids all day, my husband works very long days and weeks. I find myself sometimes talking like my 3 yr old. Asking the lady in the store for Cha Cha milk! ( Chocolate milk) HA<HA

But I love my kids so its ok to be embarrassed!

 

Not at all. If one starts acting, thinking, and addressing others as children then most likely he/she is not spending enough time around other adults, which doesn't automatically exclude still being with/around the kids.
Gina

 

I think a lot of mothers with toddlers would answer your question a resounding "YES!", Jim. However, those same toddlers would answer "NO!"

I taught for almost 30 years. I started with fifth-sixth graders. I raised six of my own, plus half a neighborhood. We were also an emergency foster family. I was surrounded by children from one end of the day to the other and often in the middle of the night as well.

And me and my blankey are doing just fine!

Seriously, what are you concerned about when you say 'too much'? A mother who is staying home with her children instead of working outside the home?

A teacher or pre-school worker who may also have a family?

I've been around both a lot and have never been spoken to as a child. In fact, like me at that time in my life, they seem incredibly happy to converse on an adult level whenever possible!

And while being around children may help you understand HOW they think, it requires a lot of experience and adult discernment and even invention to deal with it on an ongoing basis.

If someone is talking and appearing to think like a child, it is because that is that person's choice (assuming normal mental and emotional health-- no brain damage or retardation or paranoid or schizoid stuff, etc.).

 

I thought about a different aspect when I read this. If you go to google and type in "childish adults", there is a lot of discussion devoted to the increasing blur societally between childish and adult behavior.

For example, my grandparents and parents would have never worn the Mickey Mouse t-shirts I see grandmothers wearing all the time. (I admit I recently bought a Mickey Mouse nightshirt at the Disney Store for me. The clerk said it happens all the time. She tried to steer me to the Winnie-the-Pooh shirt. )
Teletubbies, they say, is watched by many college students. Ebay toy buying is driven by adults trying to get toys of their childhood.
Advertisers have new terms for it all, including
"Peterpandemonium" and "adultescent".
It does not seem to be driven by too much time with children, but perhaps by adults wanting familiar symbols of childhood in a harsh world.

Karen

 

By "chldren", are you referring to people under the age of 18, or are you referring to some of the people in my workplace?

 

"too much time", probably not but, you can spend so much time and put in so much effort in their care or education that you can lose your perspective of what is "average". I spoent 15 years teaching the mentally challenged and discovered quite early on that I had to be careful about my evaluations of their progress. I found myself being impressed that a 15 year old could spell 4th grade words and began to think that that was close to "normal". I don't regret immersing myself into their situations at all, it gave me a sense of empathy and care that was very beneficial to them and me.

 

Recently, I went to a meeting that was conducted by a retired first grade teacher.

I started to take notes. She told me to put my pencil down she was not ready for me to write yet.

Later in the meeting. She said, All right, Betty, you may pick up your pencil, it is time to take notes.

This IS a true story.

 

I don't know. I only know that when my children were much younger (before they were able to speak) I craved conversing with other adults. Now that my little people are more able to communicate and discuss varying issues. I find their company quite stimulating actually.

As for other people. There are quite a lot of people who I respect for thier knowledge and enjoy speaking with becaue of their ability to be kind. There are also many that I do not like to converse with despite their knowledge, because of their prideful arrogance or their inability to be kind. There are also some that are more reactionary and juvinile, who I have difficulty speaking to without the desire to respond in kind.

Having the ability to flatten a person is not honorable. Having the ability and chosing not to use it, is.

 

Betty, I get that from my son's teachers. I want to stop them mid sentence and say "Who do you think you're talking to?!"

 

It isn't just recent teachers
of the young.
Thankful's friend retired twelve years ago

 

Well, I don't talk to parents that way. Of course, I spent 30 years in the real world before becoming a high school teacher.

 

Wisdom Seeker WISELY stated:

I have a 76 year old helper in Sunday School who is a retired teacher. We've 'worked' together since the beginning of Sept. This past Sunday I finally spoke to her as I would a child and actually had to correct her for HER misbehavior. (Example: Miss C., We don't jerk toys away from friends in our class. We ask nicely. Now, Ned, would you please give Miss C. the toy while we listen to our Bible story?) She argues with the children, jerks things away from the children and acts more childlike than the 4 year olds. I actually used her name, a firm voice and told her how WE do things in OUR class. I had to correct her twice. She wants to argue with the children where my approach is to let a misbehaving child be 'invisible' to the point that he will not be heard (I'm sorry Noah. I am not going to listen to you until you can behave), given a coloring page, allowed to play our game, be invited to answer questions and not be offered a snack. (Example: Uh Oh children! Marshal is not acting very nice right now. Until he can behave, I'm going to pretend Marshal is invisible.) My approach worked on him and the offending child was very quick to apologize and promise to behave if he could not be invisible anymore.

If she's going to act like a child, I'll have to treat her as a child or have her replaced. I think there comes a point where those who didn't really care for children or even adults in the first place becomes intolerant of just about everyone!

I do not automatically show respect to someone just because they are adults. Adults who act like children many times have to be treated as children, even if that means they are 'invisible' to me.

NOW... that is NOT to say teachers speaking down to parents is appropriate! On the contrary BUT with a teacher, I think it might just be habit and not them actually meaning to be hurtful or show disrespect.

As for the original question:

I don't think there is such a thing as spending too much time with children.

No, I don't believe they begin to 'think' as children because they are with children. Sometimes we are blessed to see God's mighty work anew through the eyes of a tiny child. A dandelion becomes a precious flower, a butterfly a work of art....

Diane

[ November 29, 2003, 08:49 PM: Message edited by: dianetavegia ]

 

I believe that too many children have to be taught English as a second language because the parents have spoken to them as immmature using baby talk. With students I have always exected the best and use language that communicates that.

I do know that often parents are nothing more than older high school students. Almost always when I had a problem with a student I had an even worse problem with the student's parents. The apple usually doesn't fall far from the tree.

 

Dear Diane,
I have some questions about your approach here. If you had it to do over again, would you not prefer to upfront, in September and in private, tell your helper your expectations?
From your description, it sounds like you did nothing till all of a sudden in public.
I'm kind of sensitive to this right now, because I know how my father changed in his seventies because of strokes.
She may have infirmities invisible to you, and helping with the kids may be one of the few ways she can feel connected and useful.
I'm not sure your only real options are treat her as a child or replace her.
Of course, that does not mean she can just do whatever.

Karen

 

I think that in the case of my son's teachers...they are overworked, under paid, under appreciated...and just out and out frustrated with my son's needing them more than they have time to help him. Large class sizes. I get it...I really do. It can't help but spill over to me, the Mom.

But just because I said that I feel like telling them "Just who do you think you're talking to?!" Doesn't mean that I would ever actually say that. It takes a lot of self control to act like an adult...when other people are treating you like a child. It takes fruits of the spirit to take a bad situation and find a way to make it better. Reacting in kind only reaps more of the same. And all too frequently just makes a bad situation escalate.

And Diane, I get what you're saying and the frustration with which you seem to be saying it. I've been there too. Yes, I agree, there are some people that work in childrens ministries that are better suited away from children. But I would have to agree with Karen. I would have tried to spare the ladies dignity if at all possible and talk to her privately. And if I saw her tearing a toy away from a child, or being other wise harsh with the children...I would have put my hand on her shoulder and said in a quiet voice "Are you okay?" You never know what a person could be dealing with.