Unruly Children

[ktn4eg]

Much has been posted concerning whether or not a person is biblically qualified to be a pastor if he was ever divorced.

My question is this: What about the behavior of that man's children? Isn't this also a qualification for becoming or remaining a pastor?

I'd appreciate your comments on this because, to my knowledge, I've never heard of a church asking a pastor resign over this, even though it seems to me that it's as much a biblical qualification as the issue of divorce.

 

[bapmom]

I think thats because the idea of "unruly children" is so subjective. My idea of what is unruliness in a child could be quite different than another person's. Divorced or not divorced is a yes or no answer......

Plus, how unruly does this mean? I mean children will disobey at times, its part of the growing up process. A pastor might not want to discipline his kids in public, so he does it at home in private.....which means we don't SEE him disciplining his kids.

I have known of leaders in churches which have resigned their position because a college-aged child went astray badly. This brings up another question, how long does a pastor have to be held responsible for the actions of his child? Once the child is out on his own he is making his own decisions. Does a pastor need to resign if an adult child falls into major sin?

As I understand the passage you are referencing, it is talking about picking the elders out of a group. Who do you choose to be an elder? A man who has his house right.........
Its not necessarily talking about whether or not the elder gets to keep the position. So if a man has his household under control, and is picked as an elder, and then later on one of his children chooses the wrong path, that does not necessarily mean he can no longer be an elder.

 

[Jarthur001]

Much has been posted concerning whether or not a person is biblically qualified to be a pastor if he was ever divorced.

My question is this: What about the behavior of that man's children? Isn't this also a qualification for becoming or remaining a pastor?

I'd appreciate your comments on this because, to my knowledge, I've never heard of a church asking a pastor resign over this, even though it seems to me that it's as much a biblical qualification as the issue of divorce.

It should be looked into before taking on a pastor, yet i see no reason to remove them of duties over their kids being bad.

I think it has to do with the fact that a divorce is so final. Where as unruly children can and do often change. Also as the children grows, it is up to the child to follow Christ and not follow the dads faith. Also, divorce breaks the picture of Christ and his bride the church where as the unruly child is only a picture of our sin nature.

 

[NateT]

Plus, how unruly does this mean? I mean children will disobey at times, its part of the growing up process. A pastor might not want to discipline his kids in public, so he does it at home in private.....which means we don't SEE him disciplining his kids.

Although you don't see the actual act of discipline (spanking, timeout, extra chores etc) you should see the result of it. If it is done in a loving and Godly manner then most likely the kids will get better.

I think unruly kids will often be a reflection of something else going on in the house. Maybe the parents are fighting at home, but not in public etc.

I think it absolutely should be something that should be evaluated. But on the broader scale of "managing his home" that means if his kids act up, he deals with it in a Godly way. It doesn't mean if his kid beat up another kid that he should step down, but instead look at the pattern of his house. We all know that raising kids is an ongoing process and not a instantaneous situation.

I think an implication of this verse about managing his house means his relationship with his wife should be evaluated. I have a friend who decided he could not become a pastor in part because of his relationship with his wife.