What is your opinion ? Ladies please chime in.

[Tennessee Gal]

I was a pastor's wife until my husband went home to be with the Lord 7 years ago.I have over the years tried to be considerate and respectful of others. Last week I had a niece and her adult daughter in for a visit. My niece who was visiting is a pastor's wife. She often is involved in leadership with women's ministry events. I came along late in life so she and I are near the same age.

Two evenings in a row we sat down to eat dinner and she said,"Let's pray" and she then prayed. The third evening she looked at me and said, " I'll let you pray". She then caught herself, laughed and said, "It is your home". I said, "yes" meaning it was my home and then prayed.

I didn't say anything to her, but I would hope she wouldn't do this in other people's homes. Sometimes a person can get by with something with family, but it would not be acceptable otherwise.
If I was visiting in her home, even if her husband wasn't there I would sit down for a meal and wait for her to either pray, or for her to ask someone else to pray. I would not take the lead as it would not be my place to do so, as it wouldn't be my home. I don't think she realizes this as disrespectful or poor manners.
What do you think?

 

[JamesL]

I think there is an unwarranted, and unspoken, expectation in America's church, a hierarchy of prominence. I think it's mostly bolstered by lay people who have an us/them mentality. They are the leaders, and we are unworthy. Pedestal mentality, if you will

But it can sometimes work its way out practically in an unwitting prideful display on the part of one who sees him/herself as more prominent than others in the room.

 

[Revmitchell]

I was a pastor's wife until my husband went home to be with the Lord 7 years ago.I have over the years tried to be considerate and respectful of others. Last week I had a niece and her adult daughter in for a visit. My niece who was visiting is a pastor's wife. She often is involved in leadership with women's ministry events. I came along late in life so she and I are near the same age.

Two evenings in a row we sat down to eat dinner and she said,"Let's pray" and she then prayed. The third evening she looked at me and said, " I'll let you pray". She then caught herself, laughed and said, "It is your home". I said, "yes" meaning it was my home and then prayed.

I didn't say anything to her, but I would hope she wouldn't do this in other people's homes. Sometimes a person can get by with something with family, but it would not be acceptable otherwise.
If I was visiting in her home, even if her husband wasn't there I would sit down for a meal and wait for her to either pray, or for her to ask someone else to pray. I would not take the lead as it would not be my place to do so, as it wouldn't be my home. I don't think she realizes this as disrespectful or poor manners.
What do you think?

Avoiding the extreme of the last post it appears she caught herself in a moment of thoughtlessness. I would let it go as that.

 

[JamesL]

Avoiding the extreme of the last post it appears she caught herself in a moment of thoughtlessness. I would let it go as that.

She....

 

[Katarina Von Bora]

I was a pastor's wife until my husband went home to be with the Lord 7 years ago.I have over the years tried to be considerate and respectful of others. Last week I had a niece and her adult daughter in for a visit. My niece who was visiting is a pastor's wife. She often is involved in leadership with women's ministry events. I came along late in life so she and I are near the same age.

Two evenings in a row we sat down to eat dinner and she said,"Let's pray" and she then prayed. The third evening she looked at me and said, " I'll let you pray". She then caught herself, laughed and said, "It is your home". I said, "yes" meaning it was my home and then prayed.

I didn't say anything to her, but I would hope she wouldn't do this in other people's homes. Sometimes a person can get by with something with family, but it would not be acceptable otherwise.
If I was visiting in her home, even if her husband wasn't there I would sit down for a meal and wait for her to either pray, or for her to ask someone else to pray. I would not take the lead as it would not be my place to do so, as it wouldn't be my home. I don't think she realizes this as disrespectful or poor manners.
What do you think?

I am a Pastors wife as well. My husband and I met at sea while in the Navy. One of the things we had to do, was to adapt to other people. Especially those who were from different cultures, customs, and practices. Serving in the Persian Gulf, a woman has to be careful. It can be a scary place.

Even in our country, we often don't understand the issue of wearing white shoes after Labor Day in some parts of the South. Sometimes our expectations of others can be a detriment to ourselves.

Having served for more than 20 years in the Navy, I can tell you absolutely, that men just don't get involved in such matters.

Your post seems sincere and you just want to maybe help her for future visits. I appreciate your grace.

When it comes to the Kingdom, we aren't going to judged on our use of silverware and what is or is not cordial behavior.

Let it go. I'd bet she hasn't thought much of it. We all have so many personal sins to correct.

God Bless dear Sister

Colossians 3:17English Standard Version (ESV)

17 And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

 

[Tennessee Gal]

Avoiding the extreme of the last post it appears she caught herself in a moment of thoughtlessness. I would let it go as that.

Rev. Mitchell, I would agree with your statement," it appears she caught herself in a moment of thoughtlessness" if she hadn't done it three nights in a row. I didn't say anything to her this time, but if it would happens again in a future visit to my home, I will take her aside privately and talk with her about it. I don't think she did it on purpose to be rude of show disrespect, but it could hurt her testimony in other situations.

 

[Revmitchell]

Rev. Mitchell, I would agree with your statement," it appears she caught herself in a moment of thoughtlessness" if she hadn't done it three nights in a row. I didn't say anything to her this time, but if it would happens again in a future visit to my home, I will take her aside privately and talk with her about it. I don't think she did it on purpose to be rude of show disrespect, but it could hurt her testimony in other situations.

I have found myself in repeated thoughtlessness and then caught myself as she did. It seems she acknowledged it was your house.

 

[JamesL]

I have found myself in repeated thoughtlessness and then caught myself as she did. It seems she acknowledged it was your house.

If you don't mind me asking, what did you catch yourself in? Or, what did you catch yourself doing?

You used the word "thoughtless"
Thoughtless about what?

Did you presume that it was your place or responsibility to take the reins in spiritual matters?

I know tou didn't like my "extreme" way of assessing the issue in the op, but why do you think it's extreme?

What exactly were you not thinking about? How would your (or that lady's) thoughtlessness be related to something other than what I assessed?