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What To Do With The Pastor?

Discussion in 'Pastoral Ministries' started by cyndieq, Jan 22, 2013.

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  1. cyndieq

    cyndieq New Member

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    I went to what I thought was a conservative Baptist church but boy was I wrong. It ended up that the pastor's wife was divorced and she befriended me (what a mistake). Each time we went out she would gossip about someone and then she would horribly attack my husband verbally. Then one day my husband was having a difficult time so I went to the pastor's home and asked him and his wife to pray for my husband I could not believe it. This pastor and his wife acussed my husband of lying, stealing, drinking alcohol, doing drugs and beating me. I later found out they had women deacons in the church. The pastor lived across the hall from us and harassed us and falsely acussed us calling us at late hours of the night until one night he pounded on the door and called my husband and filled harassment charges against us. It was fine because we no longer had to put up with his foolishness. He continually lied and made false accusations against us. We had a dog and regularly picked up after our dog and kept a large garbage badge on the porch with the dog's wastes in it. He stole the waste products out of the bag on our porch. This man was a pastor and told us not to go to another church and gossipped about other people who had left the church.

    I think for Biblical reasons of being married to a divorced woman, being a novice, not being blameless and sowing discord among the brethren this man should not be a pastor what are your thoughts?
     
    #1 cyndieq, Jan 22, 2013
  2. annsni

    annsni Well-Known Member
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    It's up to his church - not you.

    Walk away from the church.

    The fact that the wife was divorced means nothing to me because I don't know the circumstances of that. What if her husband abandoned her and married another woman. Even Jesus would say that the divorce was valid.

    As to the rest of it, no pastor is above being sinful and wrong. We are only hearing your side of the story which is not the whole story but no matter what, if you don't like the church, move on. End of story.
     
    #2 annsni, Jan 22, 2013
  3. cyndieq

    cyndieq New Member

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    Problem in the church

    Thank you for your response. I know you are only hearing one side of the situation but I want to do the Scriptural based thing and I do not think this person should ever have been placed as a pastor.

    Thank you for your kind words. We left the church back in November and went to a church last week. In found out that the church we went to the pastor told us not to go there also he told us there were was treat sin in the church which was a lie. I also found out that in a small church of 30 people 12 people left in one month leaving only 18 people in the church in one month.

    Thank you again for your response.

    Cyndieq
     
    #3 cyndieq, Jan 23, 2013
  4. Tom Bryant

    Tom Bryant Well-Known Member

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    I am glad that you left the previous church. It was a poisonous situation for you all no matter the entire circumstances.

    You also need to do something else. You need to stop talking about the church. Since you and your husband left, it is no longer your matter. It will be healthier for you both spiritually and physically. You can and should pray privately for them, but let it go.
     
    #4 Tom Bryant, Jan 23, 2013
  5. cyndieq

    cyndieq New Member

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    Problem in the church

    Thank you for your kind words of wisdom. It is very difficult to let it go when they live across the hall from you and are constantly screaming and banging doors. But we are moving out in 8 days so hopefully by then the situation will be resolved.
     
    #5 cyndieq, Jan 24, 2013
  6. Jkdbuck76

    Jkdbuck76 Well-Known Member
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    Moving out. Good idea.
     
    #6 Jkdbuck76, Jan 31, 2013
  7. thjplgvp

    thjplgvp Member

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    Here would be my advice. Please keep in mind the office of pastor was established by Christ himself and it was Paul who said in Titus that part of his ministry was ordaining elders (pastors) in the various cities where he proclaimed the gospel. In Paul’s time as today the pastor’s authority came from the office he held and not by his ordination. It is unlikely that the men Paul placed in position of elder in the churches he had responsibility for always saw eye to eye with their pastor none-the-less they were expected to honor him and respect his office. The process is very similar to the administration that currently runs the USA it is easy to honor the office when we trust the man in the office but whether we can trust the holder or not we honor and respect the office. If you have children your response to this man before your children may have more impact on their lives then you can realize at this time. If it is ok for you to attack the office of pastor then is it not ok for them to attack positions of authority in their own lives? I beg you contain your hurt for the sake of those watching and requite love for hate.
    If your former church elected the current pastor then you are honor bound to honor the office as well. If you believe that you cannot then you need to quietly leave and allow God the time to set things in order in that church keeping in mind that God’s mercy and timing are not likely to coincide with your own.
    To God be the glory
     
    #7 thjplgvp, Jan 31, 2013
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