I want to bring a topic from my life experience. I always reflect on myself about the past and sometimes it becomes a moment of life experiences.
It was a terrible moment I had ever had in life. After I received a call, I joined the bible school and when I graduated, I entered the ministry in 2014. I still remembered it was in April, a hot summer season, when I registered my name in the church office on the first day, I was overjoyed and a tear came. I was a church clerk cum Sunday school teacher. My mother church has over 2,400 members. They are in all parts of the country but in the local office, we are very few, like 20-40 including the school children.
We have a Field Director, under him as his assistant, he appointed a pastor who is already ordained, he is very close to me and a senior pastor for me. He has one daughter but his family was living far in the village and he alone moved to the office. His village is a week trip to get there.
One day, I found out that he was having an affair with a young girl, who is single. The girl usually sent some gifts to him for nutrition and even gave gifts to church kids. But nobody knew except me. The pastor was on the phone all the time, but I couldn't do anything for him. I had no idea at that time. If I told the Field Director, he would certainly fire him and he would be ashamed and his wife would leave him. Their daughter would experience a broken family.
A year later, I urged him to do further studies together, and we then joined a certain college. He lost connection with the girl as I observed him. The school is a fundamental college and has many restrictions. We are not allowed to use the phone during weekdays. In three years of studying, I became a student leader from my second year, I had to closely check students for their proper manner, study life regarding rules and regulations and overall. I was informed again by his roommate that this pastor whom they had respected at first was having an affair. It was another girl. When I closely observed him, he really was in an affair again.
I dared not tell anyone about this situation, if the college found out he would be expelled and it would be a lifetime shame. The church would no more accept him. This time, I called him to my room quietly as a student leader to counsel him personally. We had some conversations and fellowship with fun, then when I entered his affair topic I said, "I was reported by your roommate that they suspected you of having an affair, and the evidence is true. I believe as a pastor, it is not good." I remembered, I told him that "I was not a married man but still didn’t do such stuff but you are a pastor and students respected you, you should be an example for us."
It was winter and a very cold season but he started sweating, but yet denied the news. We then had good conversations, and departed to our personal room. We graduated together from the college, and we both reentered the ministry today but in different locations.
I heard that he got promoted and has a happy family and even got another kid. He is also pastoring in a remote village and we sometimes have connection when he has signal.
My conclusion is: If I had reported about his case to our Senior pastor or the Field Director at that time in 2014, his life would have been miserable OR If I had reported to the college authority in 2017, he wouldn't have graduated and earned a degree to serve again in the ministry. Our journey was indeed very difficult, through work scholarship like a farmer.
Do you think I failed or I saved him? What would be your view? What would you do since the beginning if you were me?
It was a terrible moment I had ever had in life. After I received a call, I joined the bible school and when I graduated, I entered the ministry in 2014. I still remembered it was in April, a hot summer season, when I registered my name in the church office on the first day, I was overjoyed and a tear came. I was a church clerk cum Sunday school teacher. My mother church has over 2,400 members. They are in all parts of the country but in the local office, we are very few, like 20-40 including the school children.
We have a Field Director, under him as his assistant, he appointed a pastor who is already ordained, he is very close to me and a senior pastor for me. He has one daughter but his family was living far in the village and he alone moved to the office. His village is a week trip to get there.
One day, I found out that he was having an affair with a young girl, who is single. The girl usually sent some gifts to him for nutrition and even gave gifts to church kids. But nobody knew except me. The pastor was on the phone all the time, but I couldn't do anything for him. I had no idea at that time. If I told the Field Director, he would certainly fire him and he would be ashamed and his wife would leave him. Their daughter would experience a broken family.
A year later, I urged him to do further studies together, and we then joined a certain college. He lost connection with the girl as I observed him. The school is a fundamental college and has many restrictions. We are not allowed to use the phone during weekdays. In three years of studying, I became a student leader from my second year, I had to closely check students for their proper manner, study life regarding rules and regulations and overall. I was informed again by his roommate that this pastor whom they had respected at first was having an affair. It was another girl. When I closely observed him, he really was in an affair again.
I dared not tell anyone about this situation, if the college found out he would be expelled and it would be a lifetime shame. The church would no more accept him. This time, I called him to my room quietly as a student leader to counsel him personally. We had some conversations and fellowship with fun, then when I entered his affair topic I said, "I was reported by your roommate that they suspected you of having an affair, and the evidence is true. I believe as a pastor, it is not good." I remembered, I told him that "I was not a married man but still didn’t do such stuff but you are a pastor and students respected you, you should be an example for us."
It was winter and a very cold season but he started sweating, but yet denied the news. We then had good conversations, and departed to our personal room. We graduated together from the college, and we both reentered the ministry today but in different locations.
I heard that he got promoted and has a happy family and even got another kid. He is also pastoring in a remote village and we sometimes have connection when he has signal.
My conclusion is: If I had reported about his case to our Senior pastor or the Field Director at that time in 2014, his life would have been miserable OR If I had reported to the college authority in 2017, he wouldn't have graduated and earned a degree to serve again in the ministry. Our journey was indeed very difficult, through work scholarship like a farmer.
Do you think I failed or I saved him? What would be your view? What would you do since the beginning if you were me?
