Who needs $50?

[Alcott]

This is a paraphrased recreation of something I read on Facebook....

I asked a little girl what she wants to be when she grows up.

"I want to be the President of the United States," she said.

'Good,' I told her, knowing her parents standing by, acquaintances of mine and liberal Democrats, would be proud of her answer.

'What's the first thing you would you do if you were the president?' I asked.

She said "I would feed the homeless and be sure they had a warm, safe place to sleep." Her parents beamed.

I said, 'You don't have to be president to get started on that. I'll tell you what-- if you'll come over to my house and work for about half a day, you could do all the mowing, edging, hedge trimming, weeding and watering that I need done now. I would pay you $50 for that. Then you could take the $50 to the store and buy food to feed quite a number of homeless people. How about that?'

She said, "Well, why don't the homeless people just come and do that for you for the $50? Wouldn't that be easier?"

I said, 'Welcome to the Republican Party.'

Her parents have not spoken to me since.

 

[Rob_BW]

I saw this one on Facebook yesterday:

 

[Benjamin]

Here's an old one, but good one:

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age, she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and was very much in favor of the redistribution of wealth.

She was deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican, a feeling she openly expressed. Based on the lectures that she had participated in and the occasional chat with a professor, she felt that her father had for years harbored an evil, selfish desire to keep what he thought should be his.

One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to higher taxes on the rich and the addition of more government welfare programs. The self-professed objectivity proclaimed by her professors had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father. He responded by asking how she was doing in school. Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking a very difficult course load and was constantly studying, which left her no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time studying.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Audrey doing?" She replied, "Audrey is barely getting by. All she takes are easy classes, she never studies and she barely has a 2.0 GPA. She is so popular on campus, college for her is a blast. She's always invited to all the parties and lots of times she doesn't even show up for classes because she's too hung over."

Her wise father asked his daughter, "Why don't you go to the Dean's office and ask him to deduct a 1.0 off your GPA and give it to your friend who only has a 2.0. That way you will both have a 3.0 GPA and certainly that would be a fair and equal distribution of GPA."

The daughter, visibly shocked by her father's suggestion, angrily fired back, "That wouldn't be fair! I have worked really hard for my grades! I've invested a lot of time, and a lot of hard work! Audrey has done next to nothing toward her degree. She played while I worked my tail off!"

The father slowly smiled, winked and said gently, "Welcome to the Republican Party."