Why is it bad to be intimate before marriage?

Because the bed is defiled and its sin, called "fornication". That is why Scripture says its better to marry than to "burn".

It is a beautiful thing to present yourself as a bride that has not been defiled. Not too many do anymore but thats how God wants it. I don't know if any will come on here and condone it or not but wouldn't be surprised but I tell you as a man of God, it is "sin".

 

Tell him the Spirit is strong but the flesh is weak and "fooling around" will eventually lead to sin. If he truly loves you he will wait until marriage, If he is using you he will leave.

This one scripture is telling you not to do it.

1Cr 7:9But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.

If it were ok to have sex before marriage Paul would not of said this. I can tell you how I was. I lived in Michigan for years before marriage. Everyone that was free with me I never hung around too long and when marriage time came I drove all the way back to KY to get me a woman who I felt to be a virgin. Of course, there are no more virgins in Ky than Michigan its just I knew the people. The ones who gave in to me there was no chance I was going to marry them but then again I am 67 and old fashioned.

 

Scripture says your faith shall be tried and I guess this is your faith going through the test now. I pray you will keep your self respect and he will love you more for it.

1Th 4:3For this is the will of God, [even] your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:

1Th 4:4That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour;

Your body is the temple of Christ if you are a Christian and an unclean temple He will not dwell in.

 

Try looking at it from this point of view: What do you consider sexual intimacy?

I would consider it to be any physical contact meant to make one feel aroused.
A kiss from a mother to a daughter is not sexual.
A kiss from a boyfriend to a girlfriend is sexual, and if they were married, would be a prelude to complete sexual contact.

Another way to look at it: if such physical contact is not sexual, what would be his problem with you expressing your affection for another human in the same way he wants it from you?

Being pure doesn't mean you're still pure because you only got halfway there. There's no need for scripture to point out that you can't complete half the sex act and then still be innocent. It's common sense! If you only eat half a sandwich do you say you haven't eaten?

Where does the bible say sex before marriage is wrong? Here's an article on it: http://www.victorious.org/sex.htm

 

Ok, while I'm here.

Why are you unsure of your salvation? I'm glad you're trying to present the Christian way of living to this guy, but is he gonna buy it from someone who isn't sure of their Christianity?

Your relationship with Christ, or lack of one, is much more important right now than the issue of sex. In fact, it's urgent.

If you're seriously on this board for Christian fellowship and you honestly are unsure of what you beieve about Christ, let's talk. Tell me about it on here, or send me a pm, or pm me your phone number and I'll call you. I've been on this board for years, I'm sure people will vouch that I'm trustworthy and not a whacko. (ok maybe not that I'm not a whacko, they might know me too well. HA!)

 

Gina is legit!!! a nutcase sometimes, but always has sensible advice... even when I disagree with her, I still see her love for Christ shining through.

If you are willing for her to help you, you will find a valuable asset in her friendship... I'm sure.

 

blackstarling:

I'd like to share the following with you:

"Every time you choose to passionately kiss or touch a guy in a sexual way, you are sending a message that he can treat you like his little plaything. Every time you hold on to your boundaries, you teach him that you are a woman of integrity who is worth the wait. If he is too impatient to wait until marriage, then he's risky marriage material anyway. If you are too impatient to wait until marriage, you are learning patterns that make you risky marriage material too. You want to be able to trust each other wholeheartedly, and dating is a season in which you earn that trust."

This is from the women's devotional entitled "Every Woman, Every Day" by Shannon Ethridge. I highly recommend this devotional. It will encourage you to strive for purity. You won't regret it.

God Bless!

PA

 

blackstarling,

Id be wary of a guy who is pushing you to go beyond any point where it would violate your convictions.....even if you didn't have specific Biblical support for it.

 

And it's better to be with Christ than without him.

If you have no faith, you're not denying your faith. You're simply continuing to deny Christ, only more adamently. From what you're saying, you have no faith, you have religious ideas...at times. It doesn't make you someone of faith. Just someone who has heard about it.

I strongly urge you to consider Jesus Christ. Who was he? What did he do? Why?

Where do these moral ideas you have come from? Why would you want to follow them? Fundamental Islam, fundamental Christianity, fundamental Catholocism, fundamental mormons, and many other "religions" talk about sexual purity. Why do you link yourself to Christianity rather than another group with the same concepts of morality?

 

Thanks TinyTim!

 

Ok, that makes sense. Thanks for your answer!

Now, for a question of logic.

Being that you take Christ and the Word very seriously, what part of "whosoever believeth in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life" do you struggle with so much that you don't know if he saved you?

 

Because it's not about you and what you did, it's about Christ and what he did. Living the Christian life starts to happen out of love when you do, and becomes a desire rather than something you feel you must do out of obligation or to earn merit in Christ's eyes. He already died for you, you don't have to prove you were worth it. He already did that... he already thought that.

When you honestly realize that, you'll start honestly living for Him.

 

Theologically, biblically, and psychologically there are problems with too much intimacy outside of marriage.

It is sin.

The Bible says it is wrong.

But, in the modern world it sounds like he is asking you to set a standard above the Bible and Theology . . .

For a man, that is like throwing gasoline on a fire . . . dangerous and not very smart. And from your description, you have much more to loose than he does . . .