I have been married to my wife for about 2 years now and before that we dated/en gaged for 1. So in total I have know her for about 3 years. A few months ago I started seeing little things and and am not beginning to worry that she may not be the person who I thought she was.
I grew up in a Korean Baptist family and when I first met my wife she said she was born again. I met her at a Christian Oilfield function. Since we were both Christians I didn't think that we would have any issues with being unevenly yoked. That for the most part was the way it was for the year we dated and the first year and a half we were married.
When I first met her I fell hard for her. She is extremely beautiful with long black hair, dark eyes, an amazing athletic figure and on top of that she is unusual tall (6'1") for an Asian woman. In addition to being beautiful she seemed wholesomely sweet with a delightfully charming naive innocence about her. The best way to describe her is super kawaii. She seemed both forthright, simple and honest. In any case I thought her and my morals were pretty aligned and over the year we dated and the first year and a half we were married.
Anyways since covid hit we have both been working from home a whole lot more. She had always been very private about her work. I knew that she is an engineer at an oil company but she never really volunteered much information about work. She just plain didn't talk about what she did, her day, nothing. At first I didn't think much about this since the two of us have so many common interests we had plenty to talk about that wasn't work related. I work for am oilfield service company as a project manager BTW so we are from the same industry so I kind of chalked up the lack of work talk to us both having enough of it during the day so we don't need to rehash it at night. Anyways, since the whole work from home thing started I have been exposed more to how my wife is outside the home and that is making me question her moral character. She acts very very very different from the sweet innocent girl I know at home.
At first I noticed some small red flags. I noticed that she lies a lot to her coworkers and supervisor about her daily activities. She claims to have worked hours in which I know for a fact that she was out. And I also noticed that she would abuse her corporate credit card, she would charge meals and other things and claim them on projects. Then I found out that her nickname at work is "Bad Angel"(I heard a Co worker call her that on a conference call). When I asked her about these things she got very evasive and defensive.
The thing that kind of really got me questioning happened about a week ago. She was on the phone with some body and all of a sudden she started speaking in her native language. She spoke a bit more and it seemed like a very fun and friendly conversation. She then finished the conversation and told me that she had to do a "machine shop visit" for work. So she got into her company truck and drove away. I dunno what it was but I felt something stir inside me like the holy spirit was trying to tell me something so I followed her. I knew what shop she was most likely going to because it is the one that is owned by a guy from the same country she is from. Anyways, I got there and I parked at the fast food place across the street and saw that she was still outside talking to a young lady and another Asian guy. They talked a bit more then whom I assumed to be the owner of the shop came out with two large boxes and handed one to my wife and one to the other Asian guy. The other Asian guy gave the owner what is best described as a bro hug (starts off as a handshake that becomes a hug) have my wife a quick hug, then threw his box into a truck that had the same logo of the company my wife works for on it, and drove away.
My wife then opened her box and pulled out a pair of really nice cow girl boots. She kicked off her shoes and put the boots on and began to do a little catwalk strut. The other girl then put a cowboy hat on my wife's head then they took a photo together then they went inside together. At that point I left and went home. When my wife got home a few hours later she was still wearing the boots and hat. I commented on how beautiful they made her look (with the boots on she was probably 6'3"). I asked her where she got them from and she nonchalantly claimed that she and a girlfriend met up at BootBarn after the shop visit. She showed me the boots and they were made out of pure stingray leather so they were pretty nice. She then said that she couldn't resist getting the hat. I didn't call her out on her lie (still haven't yet) but I knee that she was lying and it was disturbing how nonchalant she was about it. She was just cute and bubbly as ever. Anyways, when she went to shower I took a peek at her iPad that she left unlocked and found some messages between her and a few different people where she is soliciting gifts in exchange for projects for her company. To me this is highly unethical, this is the kind of stuff they warned us about in our engineering ethics courses in school. I never would have thought my wife was this kind of person, she just seemed way too innocent and wholesome to be involved in something like this. What should I do as a Christian? Do I call her out or do I just turn a blind eye. Oh this also explains how she sometimes comes home with random stuff (hand bags, trinkets, etc) that she claims she won in raffles and stuff.
I grew up in a Korean Baptist family and when I first met my wife she said she was born again. I met her at a Christian Oilfield function. Since we were both Christians I didn't think that we would have any issues with being unevenly yoked. That for the most part was the way it was for the year we dated and the first year and a half we were married.
When I first met her I fell hard for her. She is extremely beautiful with long black hair, dark eyes, an amazing athletic figure and on top of that she is unusual tall (6'1") for an Asian woman. In addition to being beautiful she seemed wholesomely sweet with a delightfully charming naive innocence about her. The best way to describe her is super kawaii. She seemed both forthright, simple and honest. In any case I thought her and my morals were pretty aligned and over the year we dated and the first year and a half we were married.
Anyways since covid hit we have both been working from home a whole lot more. She had always been very private about her work. I knew that she is an engineer at an oil company but she never really volunteered much information about work. She just plain didn't talk about what she did, her day, nothing. At first I didn't think much about this since the two of us have so many common interests we had plenty to talk about that wasn't work related. I work for am oilfield service company as a project manager BTW so we are from the same industry so I kind of chalked up the lack of work talk to us both having enough of it during the day so we don't need to rehash it at night. Anyways, since the whole work from home thing started I have been exposed more to how my wife is outside the home and that is making me question her moral character. She acts very very very different from the sweet innocent girl I know at home.
At first I noticed some small red flags. I noticed that she lies a lot to her coworkers and supervisor about her daily activities. She claims to have worked hours in which I know for a fact that she was out. And I also noticed that she would abuse her corporate credit card, she would charge meals and other things and claim them on projects. Then I found out that her nickname at work is "Bad Angel"(I heard a Co worker call her that on a conference call). When I asked her about these things she got very evasive and defensive.
The thing that kind of really got me questioning happened about a week ago. She was on the phone with some body and all of a sudden she started speaking in her native language. She spoke a bit more and it seemed like a very fun and friendly conversation. She then finished the conversation and told me that she had to do a "machine shop visit" for work. So she got into her company truck and drove away. I dunno what it was but I felt something stir inside me like the holy spirit was trying to tell me something so I followed her. I knew what shop she was most likely going to because it is the one that is owned by a guy from the same country she is from. Anyways, I got there and I parked at the fast food place across the street and saw that she was still outside talking to a young lady and another Asian guy. They talked a bit more then whom I assumed to be the owner of the shop came out with two large boxes and handed one to my wife and one to the other Asian guy. The other Asian guy gave the owner what is best described as a bro hug (starts off as a handshake that becomes a hug) have my wife a quick hug, then threw his box into a truck that had the same logo of the company my wife works for on it, and drove away.
My wife then opened her box and pulled out a pair of really nice cow girl boots. She kicked off her shoes and put the boots on and began to do a little catwalk strut. The other girl then put a cowboy hat on my wife's head then they took a photo together then they went inside together. At that point I left and went home. When my wife got home a few hours later she was still wearing the boots and hat. I commented on how beautiful they made her look (with the boots on she was probably 6'3"). I asked her where she got them from and she nonchalantly claimed that she and a girlfriend met up at BootBarn after the shop visit. She showed me the boots and they were made out of pure stingray leather so they were pretty nice. She then said that she couldn't resist getting the hat. I didn't call her out on her lie (still haven't yet) but I knee that she was lying and it was disturbing how nonchalant she was about it. She was just cute and bubbly as ever. Anyways, when she went to shower I took a peek at her iPad that she left unlocked and found some messages between her and a few different people where she is soliciting gifts in exchange for projects for her company. To me this is highly unethical, this is the kind of stuff they warned us about in our engineering ethics courses in school. I never would have thought my wife was this kind of person, she just seemed way too innocent and wholesome to be involved in something like this. What should I do as a Christian? Do I call her out or do I just turn a blind eye. Oh this also explains how she sometimes comes home with random stuff (hand bags, trinkets, etc) that she claims she won in raffles and stuff.
