Bad Advice Only

Get a "Speed Racer" car. That thing could jump over the construction project.
(worked in the cartoons)


I have heard rumors that some average more than 4 hours of sleep a night. I wonder what that's like.

 

Gotta return to the previous advice -- two prescription sleeping pills and a half a fifth of whiskey. You'll find out ...

Driving ten hours today. Have a *six-hour back. What to do?

*My back lasts six hours in a car or truck.

 

Take strong pain medication and drive fast.


I turn 53 in a few weeks. How should I spend the day ?

 

Throw a big party. Invite everyone from Baptist Board.


Wife is out of town. I have to eat my own cooking.

 

Keep the local Poison Control # handy and put 9-1-1 on speed dial.

Got back from trip -- that's 20 hours, 1200 miles in two and a half days -- back hurts, tried Aleve, Advil, Tylenol ... none of 'em touch the pain.

 

Dance until you feel better . . . or pass out.


All the paint has peeled off the hook of my car. (and the car really not worth the cost of a paint job)

 

Two words: Unique coffee table (ok, that's three ... whatever) ...

Dilemmas of dual careers: Have four sessions with clients Thursday, and also two house closings ... now what?

 

Take the left rear tire off and put it on the top of the car. Deflate the right front tire and over inflate the left front. Remove the right rear and put it into the driver's seat. Take the manufacture's spare and put it on the left rear. Take the tire from the lawn mower and put it under the right rear hub.




I am missing a tire on my lawn mower, how do I mow the lawn before my tee time?

 

How does drinking a dew relate to a round of golf?

Oh, you must have thought I had a tea time scheduled........

 

Per the thoughts of another thread on this board, dump both the Dew and the "tee" ... drink Jack instead ... to excess.

Missing a bottle of Dew. Anyone seen it?

 

I have no idea, but getting a new computer will probably solve the issue.

City/county/state are combining to build a new interchange to the freeway (we don't use that term here, but no one will know what I'm talking about otherwise) about a mile and a half from our house = good thing.
In the interim, traffic will be twice as heavy, slow, and ugly in getting us to the aforementioned "freeway" = bad thing.

Suggestions?

 

Now we all want to know what you call them.

Get a motorcycle. great for maneuvering around traffic and a lot of fun.
My last ride was a great right up until I rounded a curve and saw the end of the road, the stop sign, and the VAN!!! The next thing I remember was walking beside the totaled bike (my brother's bike).



To ride again or not to ride again . . . that is the question.

 

Uh ... "highway." Why wouldn't we call them what they are? Not all highways are free, but toll roads are ... well ... "toll roads." Why make up a new name for ones that aren't?

Or, we call them by their name ... "69" ... "435" ... "35" ... "49" ... seems only logical.

Want an answer? Try Wikipedia.

 

Yea, somebody has probably messed with the entry. I still won't know the answer.

Let your hair grow and see if you look like Elaine.




Looking for diet advice from a Dr. that is more overweight than me.

 

... at Yale Med, no less.

Looking for a way to exercise without actually doing anything ...

 

Lift 12 oz. at a time....pepsi, coke, mountain dew, while raising your eyebrows slowly up and slowly down....you'll feel the burn more if you do this slowly....


Looking for a riding mower with four flats....