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Bad Advice Only

Discussion in 'Forum Games' started by fluke, Nov 13, 2008.

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  1. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    By doing this to Brother Salty...

    [​IMG]

    I just saw Brother Tony buying a new rope...
     
    #1001 convicted1, Feb 11, 2015
  2. PreachTony

    PreachTony Active Member

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    Ask him what the rope is for, but make sure you take a knife or something, just in case...





    I just bought a rope to try and tie down a rooster I traded for several days ago. Now the dadgum chicken keeps running around the yard and I can't catch him. Thoughts?
     
    #1002 PreachTony, Feb 11, 2015
  3. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Call Col Sanders


    I want to make post # 1000 - what do I do
     
    #1003 Salty, Feb 11, 2015
  4. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    I have a new cook dedicated to making post # 1,000. Just send me $99.95 + $29.62 for S & H..

    I just saw a weird looking man in a white suit chasing Mercury...
     
    #1004 convicted1, Feb 12, 2015
  5. PreachTony

    PreachTony Active Member

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    Look the other way...out of sight, out of mind, right?





    My neighbor is standing in his yard just looking off in the distance. Meanwhile, some weird looking guy in a white suit is running around his back yard...
     
    #1005 PreachTony, Feb 12, 2015
  6. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    Must be A.L. Hogg - so you need to call his twin brother J.D. Hogg

    A couple of cousins of getting sick and tired of the county Sheriff making up charges - just to arrest them.
     
    #1006 Salty, Feb 12, 2015
  7. PreachTony

    PreachTony Active Member

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    Are they "Just some good ol' boys, Never meanin' no harm. Beats all you never saw, been in trouble with the law since the day they was born?" If so, give 'em a Dodge Charger and send them on their way.




    My neighbor's gone back inside, but now there's this guy driving around trying to give away his Dodge Charger...
     
    #1007 PreachTony, Feb 12, 2015
  8. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    before you buy it - have the local mechanic check it out - especially if the shocks are any good.



    The deputy Sheriff of the town near Mt Pilot was the election when he ran for Sheriff. So he moved to Hazard. What should he do to beat the incumbent sheriff.
     
    #1008 Salty, Feb 12, 2015
  9. PreachTony

    PreachTony Active Member

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    Run a smear campaign is always a great idea. Try to link the incumbent Sheriff to any kind of scandal, especially if he can be linked to putting bubble gum in the hair of the elder women of the church.




    The shocks on the Charger are in great shape, but the mechanic claims he can't paint over the rebel flag on the roof. Any thoughts?
     
    #1009 PreachTony, Feb 12, 2015
  10. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Trade the Charger for a white convertible, white suit, a cigar and a rooster. Use the rooster for an hood ornament...

    I just saw someone wearing a white suit racing in a white convertible with the weirdest looking hood ornament, screaming, "them Dukes, them Dukes!"
     
    #1010 convicted1, Feb 13, 2015
  11. PreachTony

    PreachTony Active Member

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    Drive behind him and catch that hood ornament if it blows off.




    So I'm driving down the road in my white convertible when the rooster I had duct taped to the hood blows off. I'm thinking about using a nail gun next time, but I'm worried it might damage the radiator. Any thoughts?
     
    #1011 PreachTony, Feb 13, 2015
  12. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    No. Use Gorilla glue...

    I just saw a man in a white suit gluing a rooster to the hood of his car...
     
    #1012 convicted1, Feb 13, 2015
  13. PreachTony

    PreachTony Active Member

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    Are you sure you're neighbor isn't Colonel Sanders? I would go over and tell him to stop. Roosters are notoriously immune to gorilla glue. I'm told using Crazy Glue can work, but it doesn't hold up if you go over 50 miles per hour.




    My neighbor is walking toward me with a tub of crazy glue. I think he wants to steal my rooster hood ornament...
     
    #1013 PreachTony, Feb 13, 2015
  14. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Buy some pepper spray and spray yourself in your eyes and that'll confuse him.

    I just saw some spray themselves with pepper spray...
     
    #1014 convicted1, Feb 13, 2015
  15. The American Dream

    The American Dream Member
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    Hit yourself with a hammer repeatedly because it feels so good when you stop.
     
    #1015 The American Dream, Feb 15, 2015
  16. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Uhhhhhh...I just saw someone hitting themselves repeatedly with a hammer.....
     
    #1016 convicted1, Feb 15, 2015
  17. SaggyWoman

    SaggyWoman Active Member

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    Must be the Baptist Bored. Call BarneyFife.com



    I want to slash all the people who post in this thread. Help!
     
    #1017 SaggyWoman, Feb 15, 2015
  18. Salty

    Salty 20,000 Posts Club
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    First you need to correct your spelling.
    it is spelled SPLASH....

    How do you splash a bunch of Baptist without making them think they are getting re-baptized.
     
    #1018 Salty, Feb 15, 2015
  19. convicted1

    convicted1 Guest

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    Throw a cooked chicken in a swimming pool and jump back.....

    I just saw a bunch of baptists jumping into a pool and fighting over some cooked chicken...
     
    #1019 convicted1, Feb 15, 2015
  20. PreachTony

    PreachTony Active Member

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    Start an entire theological philosophy against these folks. Persecute them if you must... :smilewinkgrin:




    I used to have a rooster strapped to the hood of my car as a hood ornament, but I get the feeling that someone stole my chicken and cooked it...
     
    #1020 PreachTony, Feb 16, 2015
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