Why women should/ should not work outside the home

[donnA]

Rebecca carried water. [If you do not believe his is work, try it]

I've had to do it and it's work, 6 1 gallon jugs, through a small woods, over a fence, across a feild, 1/2 mile up hill total, everyday.

I agree with the psots about the parent shaving time to spend wiht their kids. what good is a great job if the kids grow up alone.

 

[Gina B]

My children go to school. I work during school hours.

My husband is awesome and has no fear of the vacuum cleaner. He can also clear a sink full of dishes in a single swish, and quite often I wake up to him having made me one MEAN cup of coffee! OH YEAH!

He spends more time with the kids than I do. That's good, because he's much better at considering other discipline options than I am after a day of work, which generally goes "I think I could get away with telling the authorities a wild dingo ate them."

He also is the driver. I very rarely get behind the wheel because of medical issues, so he takes the kids to school, takes us shopping, drives us all to appointments, etc..

THAT is a full time job...on top of possibly getting ready to homeschool one of the kids.

And I get to get out of the house and the kids remain safe from dingos.

I believe heaven is smiling down on us for this.

On the other hand, when kids are little and nursing, mom kinda has to be around or they don't eat. So I made sure I was home then.

 

[Peggy]

This should be a decision based on what is best for the family.

 

[Marcia]

No one seems to be aware of single mothers.

 

[Gina B]

No one seems to be aware of single mothers.

I'm well aware with it. After my divorce I stayed home, homeschooled, and was on welfare until the situation changed.

In my case, the government took on the role of the church and helped me get back on my feet, where the church wouldn't do that.

 

[menageriekeeper]

In 22 years of marriage, I have worked full time outside the home, worked part time inside my home while caring full time for my children, and sat on my chaise lounge eating chocolate bon bons while my hubby gladly supported me, because I was already done cleaning house, caring for two chronically ill children, homeschooling the one that is healthy (though even she is puny today) and helping to raise a 4th child that isn't technically mine but probably spends more time at my house than either of his bio parents AND I've made sure the cars got new tires, paid the bills, bought and cooked the groceries, dealt with the public schools, cause between trying to educate my two sick kids and deal with the 4th one who's parents can't usually be gotten ahold of (not all their fault), the school needs a good bit of my input. Oh and I've seen to the menagerie that not counting children comes to 10 additional living, breathing, eating creatures. And if it were summer, I'd have already seen to the outside work as well.

I EARN MY CHAISE LOUNGE AND BON BONS!

What do you mean I'm not supposed to work? How does ANYONE get through life without working? While my husband and I have been blessed that I don't have to work outside the home for an employer, I still do on occasion when money gets tight. Just something that I normally do at home gets left undone.

You know whose decision it is whether the wife works outside the home? The particular couple who is making that decision. Do I perfer staying at home? Yep! But when my kids move off within the next 10 years (first one will leave me this fall), I might just change my mind!

The "church" has no business telling my husband and I how to run our lives. God says we "need no high priest". Don't means we get to decide for ourselves that which isn't explicitly stated in scripture. Women not working? Tradition of man.

 

[Mexdeaf]

That is a decision to be made between the husband and wife alone. Nothing in Scripture prevents the wife from working outside the home as long as her husband is in agreement.

 

[Robert Snow]

That is a decision to be made between the husband and wife alone. Nothing in Scripture prevents the wife from working outside the home as long as her husband is in agreement.

Exactly!

We've been married for 37 years, and my wife has worked outside the home most of that time, except when our children, or some other situation, required her to stay at home.

The only man my wife has to submit to it me. Also, I am required to love and care for my wife above all other people on earth.

 

[Gina B]

I EARN MY CHAISE LOUNGE AND BON BONS!

If those are the same as chocolate truffles, those things are DELICIOUS!

 

[Marcia]

I'm well aware with it. After my divorce I stayed home, homeschooled, and was on welfare until the situation changed.

In my case, the government took on the role of the church and helped me get back on my feet, where the church wouldn't do that.

You and I may be among the few here that are aware of it. I was divorced before I became a believer and was saved when my son was 9. I had to work; it was extremely difficult and painful for me to do this year after year.

 

[Aaron]

Women working outside the home? I'm all for it.

1. Mow the yard
2. Weed the garden
3. Paint the house
4. Clean the garage, etc.

 

[windcatcher]

10 [c] A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.

11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.

12 She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.

13 She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.

14 She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.

15 She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.

16 She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.

17 She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.

18 She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.

19 In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.

20 She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.

21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.

22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.

23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.

24 She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:

29 "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

(You're welcome to cut to the chase and read the last sentence....... and then skip to the next post after mine.:smilewinkgrin


Several things I've noticed about this passage: Often it is used as a passage to measure a woman. However, i think it is also a passage which also measures the attitude of her husband towards her in love: He starts it out with praise and counts her as of immense worth before he even gives specifics.... before she's even proved by the rest of the text: Then he describes.... not only does he trust her and place confidence in her..... but implied is that he does trust her and keeps nothing from her. It appears her main industry is done within the home: She maintains order within her house..... which means her husband allows her some authority within the home and trusts her wisdom: she tends to the needs of her family AND SERVANTS. So, though she is industrious, her husband also considers the value of her time and industry, and does what he can OR permits those servants or, perhaps in the vernacular of today, considers the value of providing those time saving conveniences which help preserve her energies. He repeatedly praises her. I'm almost certain there's not a woman alive who has not burned the bread at least one time or fried an egg too hot, or over cooked the beef, or fetched a glass of cool water for a thirsty husband only to hear him grumble that she put too much or too little ice in the glass....... but no sign of her faults or his in this picture. In fact, He praises her....... and her children praise her. Evidentally, he not only appreciates her but she honors him in such a way that she makes him the envy of all men who would wish to trade places with him..... but he also honors her with such praise and adoration for the things she does so well that it is an encouragement to her children: They obey her..... not only because of the wisdom and the strength of her words, but also because of the shared respect within the relationship between the husband and the wife.

Yes, I know I took considerable liberty with these verses.... and only expanded a select few..... but these are my thoughts.

Back to the topic: I think that wherever possible, the wife is the homemaker and her importance is in the home paticularly if they have young children. I believe if most men would remember to say the sweet words in the marriage and to treat his wife as a person of caring and worth and confide in her and accept some differences of opinion as an asset instead of as a question of authority..... like he did before they married... he'd discover a more contented wife, whatever their circumstances might require.... whether she remains primarilly 'employed' in the home or has a career to supplement or make up for difficulties in employment which they both share. A woman may observe and be taught by her mother..... but as a bride....... she still has much to learn and needs the appreciation and patience of her husband..... and a galllant attitude doesn't hurt either.... while she's developing her wifely skills. Likewise, a man might have learned some things from his dad..... but as a new husband with his goals having shifted from that of being suiter to the heavier tasks of being protector, provider, and head of the home..... he discovers a new and deeper experience of domestic responsibility and the increased weight of competition in the workplace and alterations of his social life which may have greater consequences, after marriage, and needs the patient appreciation, respect, and honoring of his wife. Both often enter the marriage without throroughly examining their own expectations of themselves or the other ............ most of which must be set aside or crucified as they learn to really communicate and grow together and learn from each other and teach each other as they come together in a common goal of a life long committment.

I do agree with Marcia and Gina, that there seems to be a void of understanding or ministry meeting the needs of single parents struggling with child raising, 'father' or 'mother' role models, or juggling work and child care issues, or the need for respite relief for the custodial parent, or the economic struggles faced when unexpected expenses or decisions such as car repair or major purchases or sudden castastrophic expenses occurr. I think this is true across the board for most single parents..... daddy's with children as well as moms with children. Add to this the pressures of trying to raise children and provide a roof and food on a single income without the support of a mate or a support system within the church often drives people to consider living 'arrangements' or make hasty committments before they've had a chance to truely resolve issues of historical experience.

Whether a wife works in the home or has a career outside the home.... this should be a shared decision wherein both husband and wife share with each other and candidly and respectfully consider each other's needs and try to arrive at an understanding and a decision in which they honor each other and honor God. The likelihood today of a wife/mother having to work outside the home is so great.... and most young men now expect it..... yet these positions should be examined when two people find they are serious about making a life together so they at least have a realistic idea of what they may encounter after the vows are taken.

Oh me oh my....... I went off on another tangent again didn't I???? ....Sigh.

 

[blackbird]

I "teaseingly" tell people on BB here----that my wife hasn't "worked a lick" outside the home in the past 22 years

We're a single income family(mine)-----and true---sometimes it "stings" a little---to see friends and relatives buy that new car---all their children have phones complete with texting/phone internet, etc---the latest in "Blackberry" and ipods that make Captain Kirk's "communicator" obsolete

We don't have the ability to buy a car for our kid's "16th" birthday---seems a right of passage signaling the world that our teenager has "arrived"

And I don't know where in Tarnation we're gonna get the bula bula to pay for their college

But do's my wifes works at home???? You betcha----cleans up after me--is what she does----she can drive a tractor & a pickup truck and a commercial grade ZTR mower---and can run a weedeater if I crunks it for her first!!! And the list goes on!!!

 

[Johnv]

No one seems to be aware of single mothers.

Or single fathers (an often overlooked minority that is frequntly discriminated against), but the fact is this thread is specific to intact homes (where the mother and father are married and living under one roof).

That is a decision to be made between the husband and wife alone. Nothing in Scripture prevents the wife from working outside the home as long as her husband is in agreement.

Yes, exactly!!!

 

[Thinkingstuff]

I "teaseingly" tell people on BB here----that my wife hasn't "worked a lick" outside the home in the past 22 years

We're a single income family(mine)-----and true---sometimes it "stings" a little---to see friends and relatives buy that new car---all their children have phones complete with texting/phone internet, etc---the latest in "Blackberry" and ipods that make Captain Kirk's "communicator" obsolete

We don't have the ability to buy a car for our kid's "16th" birthday---seems a right of passage signaling the world that our teenager has "arrived"

And I don't know where in Tarnation we're gonna get the bula bula to pay for their college

But do's my wifes works at home???? You betcha----cleans up after me--is what she does----she can drive a tractor & a pickup truck and a commercial grade ZTR mower---and can run a weedeater if I crunks it for her first!!! And the list goes on!!!

I find myself in the same position as you. However, I think my kids (not teenagers yet) love the cohesion of the family experience and the time that has been granted by our decision of surviving off of one income. I'm constantly ridiculed at work because of this arrangement and I'm not able to get that boat I want or car? Or do the other things but when I get home my kids come running up to me yelling daddy and we go over their homework and afterwards spend the rest of the evening together playing games and talking. If both of us had worked we might have more things but less time with my kids. I guess I'm reactionary. My father was a work-aholic and so I never say him during the day. He's twice divorced so I guess his wives never spent time with him either. When I was a teenager in a single parent household I was free to do whatever I wanted which isn't always a good idea for a teenage boy with money to blow. Needless to say I flew to Amsterdam with a friend when I was 17. Not really a good choice at that age. So my family time I value.

 

[Mexdeaf]

My mom was a stay-at-home mom until I started high school, then she took a job with the School Board which allowed her to be home not too long after my sister and I got home from school. I am grateful that my folks were both able to have good jobs for several years after we were independent so that they could save for retirement. (If they had waited for Obama to show up and save them they would be in trouble now-:smilewinkgrin.

 

[annsni]

I "teaseingly" tell people on BB here----that my wife hasn't "worked a lick" outside the home in the past 22 years

We're a single income family(mine)-----and true---sometimes it "stings" a little---to see friends and relatives buy that new car---all their children have phones complete with texting/phone internet, etc---the latest in "Blackberry" and ipods that make Captain Kirk's "communicator" obsolete

We don't have the ability to buy a car for our kid's "16th" birthday---seems a right of passage signaling the world that our teenager has "arrived"

And I don't know where in Tarnation we're gonna get the bula bula to pay for their college

But do's my wifes works at home???? You betcha----cleans up after me--is what she does----she can drive a tractor & a pickup truck and a commercial grade ZTR mower---and can run a weedeater if I crunks it for her first!!! And the list goes on!!!

Totally agree with you here. My kids were given prepaid cell phones when they first went to high school (after being homeschooled) so that I could reach them. I paid $20 every 90 days for the service and that was it. If they used the money sooner than that, they had to pay for it themselves. They both got jobs when they were able to and once they started working, they paid for the phones themselves. My oldest daughter was given a gorgeous car from her grandparents but once she took it over (we got it before she got her license so we used it for a bit), she paid all expenses on it including repairs on accidents. College is the one area that we're helping as much as we can once we apply for everything we can possibly get and we're actually going into debt with my oldest daughter's college. We have no mortgage but a home equity line of credit so it's going on that for now. Our next daughter is going to college next year and at this point, with scholarships, it looks like we'll only have to pay maybe a couple of thousand dollars at this point. That is good news. We told our kids grades are money and my second daughter took that to heart. She got $11,000 scholarship right off the bat when she applied!

My husband is a computer engineer and is very techy but we have all old technology here except 2 new Mac laptops for hubby and my oldest daughter. She got hers as a graduation gift from grandma and grandpa and hubby needed it for his music so when his other computer went haywire during communion and died, he used his pastor's Christmas gift to buy a refurbished Mac for himself. I'm using a 2001 Mac that was given to us by one of DH's clients. We have an old large TV for the family to watch and we won't replace it until it's necessary. Our house needs a ton of work and we just can't swing doing a lot of the repairs because they're going to cost. We DO have a rather large expensive sailboat but that was bought and paid for before DH went on staff at church when he had a good paying job and now instead of selling it because we can't afford it, hubby's parents pay for the annual expenses of it. We just pay for the fuel (about $200 a year) and incidentals that come along. So that is our big splurge but honestly, because it's paid for, it's less per year than our family of 6 going on a trip to Disney for a week.

But these are the things we deal with because of two choices: #1 - My husband left the high paying world of computer consulting where he worked in the audio industry and had developed an excellent name for himself - and an excellent salary as well to go into the ministry and #2 I am mostly a SAHM and homeschool our kids so I am not available to go work full time to make quite a bit more money. As I said, I DO work part time but I only bring in enough to just about cover groceries but I also see my work as a ministry of sorts because, like tomorrow, I'll be putting together the funeral of a dear man in our church and I will take photos that the family gives me and put them together into a slide show with music that they can take home on DVD to have as a keepsake. I try to do things to bless people with what I do and I would do what I do even without getting paid. I enjoy it immensely and being able to take my kids with me is an absolute bonus. It does not affect my family negatively and if it ever did, I'd stop working immediately. My primary ministry is to my family over being outside of the house but I've been blessed to have a family-friendly situation come to me to be able to bring in a few extra dollars to make life slightly easier for us.

 

[menageriekeeper]

We're a single income family(mine)-----and true---sometimes it "stings" a little---to see friends and relatives buy that new car---all their children have phones complete with texting/phone internet, etc---the latest in "Blackberry" and ipods that make Captain Kirk's "communicator" obsolete

We don't have the ability to buy a car for our kid's "16th" birthday---seems a right of passage signaling the world that our teenager has "arrived"

And I don't know where in Tarnation we're gonna get the bula bula to pay for their college

Let me tell you a few things seeing as my children's are just older I believe than yours.

No cell phones also means no sexting. I only provide GO phones for my kids for the explicit purpose of being able to communicate with ME, but ssecond son's bio mom provides him with unlimited everything. I've dealt with sexting twice already. The perpretrators? 11 and 12 year old girls! Sent nasty stuff to my boys.

Yeah, I choose not to afford cell phones for my younguns. Same with IPODs. If they want one, they can (and have) saved their own money to purchase it.

I have 2, 15 yos and one 17 yo. The boys (15) will be driving the '98 Amigo once they get their license (unless second son's bio family provides him a car they'll share). DD(17) drives a '98 Toyota Corrola and she pulled out of our street (that has an obstructed view) and got it whacked not long back. She is driving it without a front bumper at the moment. We don't know if we'll get it fixed before she goes off to college this fall or not. Both cars were previously work cars for either Dh or his mother.

College? Well, that is what a high grade point average and an ACT score of 28 or better will get you. It's called scholarship money. All the universities in the state offer money for college. The better the grade point and ACT, the more you qualify for. But you MUST apply early! College applications have to be completed by December 1 to be considered for this money. So if you have one heading to college this fall, that application had better be completed already, cause the money has already been handed out for the most part this year. If you have one starting fall 2011 then they need to be taking the ACT this summer (so there is time to retake it again in the fall if their score isn't high enough) so they can complete their application to college before this coming December.

My kids all understand that the trade-off of Mom being home all the time is that we don't spend money on a lot of unneccessary material things and that college is up to them. This whole idea that America has that parents "owe" their children a college education is just another part of the attitude of "we're entitled" that most people here have. We are only entitled to that which we work for.

Sorry, a little off topic.

 

[MovieProducer]

Paul told Titus to teach the aged women to teach the young women "to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

The first thing I'll point out is that you older ladies are the ones who should be teaching the younger ladies these things. :tongue3:

The second thing is that if the great women of the old testament are any indication, they certainly have a lot to contribute. We've read in this thread about the woman of Proverbs 31. Look how Abigail worked in her household.

For my family, being a "keeper at home" means my wife doesn't have a "job" or a "career." But she works as hard as anyone I know.

 

[Joseph shall add]

Those Proverb 31 scriptures are about the Chruch not a literal bride. It would kill any mule much less a woman to try and live up to that list.

I do not really see the problem to this question.
Wife work in the home and wife work out of the Home.
Men work in the home and men work out of the Home. Sounds like life to me. Well according to what I have seen no man can keep a woman at home. So migth as well let her earn some money. And there are no jobs anyway!!!!