...and I don't know of a non cal who would disagree with this except a pelagian
The problem is actually not understanding sovereignty, not surrendering ourselves over to a flawed understanding of it.
Webdog, what I think that you are getting at, and a point with which I heartily agree, is that with GOD there is no division. As I noted in another thread with a poll, "Will I admit to being wrong?" I made exactly that point. When I see one brother calling out this Bible verse to disprove another brother who calls out another one, I realize the depths of our sin, for we make God out to be a liar, when in fact it is our own shortcomings that do not allow us to find clarity in the Text.
Is there free will or God's sovereignty? Yes! Both! Has to be. God said so; even if I have no greater grasp on how that can be than my grasp of how the Trinity works. I can see it revealed. I can reason both (or more) sides. I can attempt to construct some allegorical means to create a narrative that explains what I cannot, but I cannot make the truth of God's revelation go away.
But, all that being said, we finite human beings sort of have to come down on one side or the other. That's what this debate is all about. With whatever aspects of human will I have, I "choose" to come down on God's side -- period. If I err, no harm. People are saved, enter eternity with God, and do the good works of repentance. If those who center on human free will err, there can be great harm at the end of the day, for they may convince people who are not truly saved that they are based on human logic and wisdom. I believe that all of us have seen examples of how that works in our real church life. Both sides have had to construct some means of dealing with that reality, and neither side is likely right there either, but again, we have to take a stand somewhere.
What REALLY sets my teeth on edge, however, is when the side that favors human free will stereotypes the "Calvinist" as one who is not concerned with missions, salvation of souls, work of God, etc. Nothing could be farther from the truth, and taking a stereotypical position based on human "logic" that if God is solely responsible for the act of salvation so no human would ever go to the lost, is not only ludicrous, but proven false. John Piper, author of one of the seminal theological works on mission (
Let the Nations Be Glad!: The Supremacy of God in Missions) is as solidly Calvinistic as one can be. Spurgeon, also Calvinistic in theology did more than any other man of his age to further the work of missions in Europe, including starting schools to train pastors and missionaries.
At the end of the day, it is not human logic that dictates our theology. It is the Word of God, and following the express will of God. God said, "GO!" And, so we do. God said that He would draw the elect! And, so He does. We go on mission knowing and expecting that God is already at work before we arrive, and that our arrival at the doorstep of a lost person means that God has a divine appointment date for the encounter.