I have not PMed JDF about this myself because I've found that it is best to address this stuff at least directly to the person in the open (so that I can't be accused of any sort of impropriety). The accusation was made in public and so I felt it right to address it directly. However, from the moment he said I attacked his kids, I've asked for proof and he's not shown it. So I decided that after all these times and probably no less than him pointing this out in 4-5 different threads over and over again and STILL not showing proof, it was time to bring this to the full light. I understand the idea of going to him privately but I do not like to be attacked in the dark as well. I always walk in the light to be sure to stay safe and I felt that way with this issue as well.
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A public thread asking for proof of me attacking a member's children
- Thread starter annsni
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I have not PMed JDF about this myself because I've found that it is best to address this stuff at least directly to the person in the open (so that I can't be accused of any sort of impropriety). The accusation was made in public and so I felt it right to address it directly. However, from the moment he said I attacked his kids, I've asked for proof and he's not shown it. So I decided that after all these times and probably no less than him pointing this out in 4-5 different threads over and over again and STILL not showing proof, it was time to bring this to the full light. I understand the idea of going to him privately but I do not like to be attacked in the dark as well. I always walk in the light to be sure to stay safe and I felt that way with this issue as well.
No, it's working pretty well, actually.
Nor is it my fault that you asked me to defend something that I had no control over.
What's to resolve? I find that it would be better just to ignore her, rather to try to pretend like there is a one sided resolution with someone who has so much hatred and bitterness that she starts a thread for no other purpose to attack me and to gin up animosity toward me among all of her little playground pals.
Wow. You are seriously delusional. Fortunately, it's all in plain sight for all to see.
Doo, doo, doo, doo, dooo....
We are one in the Spirit,
We are one in the Lord....
And they'll know we are Christians by our....
...wounded pride and defensive comments on Baptist internet discussion forums...
Doo, doo, doo, doo, dooo....
ccrobinson
Active Member
annsni said:
But, Ann, this isn't the Biblical approach to handling conflict. We're given instructions in Matthew 18 on how to handle conflict. I think that you should have talked to him privately before starting this thread.
Matthew 18:15 - Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.
JohnDeereFan said:
What's to resolve is that you've publicly stated that she's attacked your children and she denies doing this. Since you made the accusation, it's incumbent on you to show that she did this.
Romans 12:18 - If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
I get that your digging in your heels over every little thing, but, come on. Did you, or did you not, say that Ann insulted your children?
Why would you do this? Ann is well-liked and respected on this board. Why does she not deserve your respect?
You call her names and yet deride her for her so-called "hatred and bitterness"? That's the very definition of irony.
I have no animosity towards you. I asked simple questions of you and Ann. She answered. You have not. By not answering the question, you have left it up to everybody else to decide what the truth is instead of speaking for yourself.
It's just biblical in another way.
ccrobinson said:
Good. Then she should have so many other people to talk to her that she won't miss me at all.
No, actually, the very definition of irony is this:
Followed by this:
You are probably right but I honestly am a little bit of a coward. :saint: I know the other member is quite hostile towards me and I certainly do not appreciate going in to something where it might be "dangerous" for me. You know? If this were in real life, I would most likely either address this issue in a crowd (not in front of them but amongst them) or else I'd immediately bring someone along with me - not necessarily to approach the person but to stand by in case of an attack. I seriously feel very viciously attacked by this member and am not comfortable addressing them privately. I know it's probably not the best approach and I need to get a little guts.
Actually, what I probably would have done is to have had my husband address him in a PM. I did actually think of getting my husband involved in this because of the extreme slander that was thrown at me today.And they'll know we are Christians by our....
...wounded pride and defensive comments on Baptist internet discussion forums...
Insert 70s-era folk guitar solo...
ccrobinson
Active Member
Animosity? Hardly. Regardless, it's irrelevant to the OP.
What's relevant is that you won't answer any of the questions that you're asked. You can pretend to be above it, but what it looks like is that you're afraid to answer questions. Or, perhaps you think you're above being questioned.
Either way, I really, really, really want you to put me on your ignore list. Life will be better for all involved.
What's relevant is that you won't answer any of the questions that you're asked. You can pretend to be above it, but what it looks like is that you're afraid to answer questions. Or, perhaps you think you're above being questioned.
Either way, I really, really, really want you to put me on your ignore list. Life will be better for all involved.
mcdirector
Active Member
I've read through several of the threads that you and JDF have both been on and I've only noticed [edited for personal attacks] on his posts. Unfortunately, there are quite a few of those standing right now.
I did observe that in many of the posts, statements seemed to be taken quite personally which is probably where the perceived insults arose. I see this more and more often. A general statement is made and someone gets more than a bit worked up. I didn't see any insults/attacks (never expect to read any) from you Ann. I didn't see any from MK either - just statements taken the wrong way fwiw. I am actually at a loss for his reponses.
I do love ccrobinson's advice about the PM based on Mt 18:15, but having watched this go downhill, it probably would have ended up here anyway.
I did observe that in many of the posts, statements seemed to be taken quite personally which is probably where the perceived insults arose. I see this more and more often. A general statement is made and someone gets more than a bit worked up. I didn't see any insults/attacks (never expect to read any) from you Ann. I didn't see any from MK either - just statements taken the wrong way fwiw. I am actually at a loss for his reponses.
I do love ccrobinson's advice about the PM based on Mt 18:15, but having watched this go downhill, it probably would have ended up here anyway.
Thanks Bitsy. Yeah, I think it would have ended up here - with an even more upset me because of bad PMs.
Oh well. At least I got all of the evidence together in one place. I know the internet is a place of "forever" and if this comes up that I, as a pastor's wife, once attacked someone's kids online, at least I can show the information in one place without having to look for it. I'm also copying the info for myself in a file to save. It's sad that I have to do this but I feel it's necessary, you know?
What our brother just said twofold. I will add that since we met here last June, that you have comported yourself altogether as Godly & Charitable Woman. considering both you, your husband & your family have done so much in church planting endeavors, who could ever question you and/or your kin.
Blessings to you
You just totally warmed my heart EWF - Thank you!
menageriekeeper
Active Member
You know, I had to go back and reread those threads (there were more than one btw) to remember just what JDF was complaining about. It was dumb then, its even dumber now, ALMOST A YEAR LATER!
Good grief JDF, I thought you'd moved beyond this sort of thing! Just what good does it do to even bring this issue back up after this length of time?
Put up or shut up. Prove Ann insulted or "attacked" your children or back off and man up to an apology.
You can search more easily by pulling up Ann's or my "posts" and then watching for the check-mark indicators for a thread where you both/we posted. You have to page through to find the date range (3/16/2010). Ann is more prolific than I am so if you are searching her posts from last March will be on or around page 16.
Honestly, this behavior is unbecoming to a Christian.
JohnDeerFan said:
Good grief JDF, I thought you'd moved beyond this sort of thing! Just what good does it do to even bring this issue back up after this length of time?
Put up or shut up. Prove Ann insulted or "attacked" your children or back off and man up to an apology.
You can search more easily by pulling up Ann's or my "posts" and then watching for the check-mark indicators for a thread where you both/we posted. You have to page through to find the date range (3/16/2010). Ann is more prolific than I am so if you are searching her posts from last March will be on or around page 16.
Honestly, this behavior is unbecoming to a Christian.
Well, so much for that apology. I guess we know now that you weren't being sincere.
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