QueenEstherP31
New Member
I would love to answer that but I can't. I can only give this response. I am cautious of saying how I truly feel since I don't want repercussions.
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My Beliefs
- Thread starter QueenEstherP31
- Start date
I would love to answer that but I can't. I can only give this response. I am cautious of saying how I truly feel since I don't want repercussions.
Then you need to immerse yourself in the Scriptures. I'm not saying that our lives are a rose garden as believers but God does not beat us over and over again for our past sins or cause us to suffer just because we have sin in our life. I'd love to talk to you more if you'd like. My e-mail is mama4 AT seekone DOT com. Or when you get into the private women's forum, we can chat there and there are some amazing women who can also help you. Just so you know where I'm coming from, I'm a pastor's wife, a mom of 4 children ages 8-21 and I've been a believer since 1972.
You know what I did when my daughter was so ill? I screamed in the car on the way home asking God why?? I told him this stunk and I was hurting a lot. It's OK. God's there as our Father waiting for us to come to Him with our hurt and He won't laugh at us or hurt us even further.
I'm glad you joining the forum. You will get good advice there, please ask many questions and soak in their advice. Annsi is right, what you described sounds like a life the enemy wants us to live. Nothing about that is "abundant life" what Christ wants for us.
The thing you have heard about your past (and what a woman should be) needs to be filed in the circular file. It is utter garbage unsupported by Scripture IN CONTEXT.
I apologize for making light of your op, but I couldn't believe how bondaged and unbiblical it sounded. Looking back it sounds like a cry for help...and I hope you take it.
QueenEstherP31
New Member
Our old preacher taught this thought as does the church we attend now. My husband enjoys the church we attend now. I'm always being subjected to feeling guilty over everything. If I don't want to do something or whatever I hear that it's not right. Guilt. Nothing but guilt from everyone & every direction. It seems I need to be like the other Christian women or other Christian family members in order for things to be right. I just can't.
QueenEstherP31
New Member
No problem.
preacher4truth
Active Member
OK. Well, I am not sure what you mean by getting repercussions. I am sure though, that God wants you to express your joy through praise to Him.
We will pray for you!
QueenEstherP31
New Member
Thank you again.
Do you think that message is coming to you from God? What does His Word say to you about who you are in Him? My other question to you is this: What does God expect of you as His daughter? What happens if you try but fall short? I'm not talking about disobedience but instead really trying and falling short?
I'm going to be heading home in a few and I may not be on again until later tonight but you're more than welcome to e-mail me if you want to talk. PMing here is hard because there's a limit to how many PMs you can send. But please e-mail me if you want to talk.
QueenEstherP31
New Member
This is horrible
I don't like the feeling I have now. I am unable to tell anyone anything. Of course God is the only one who knows all. However, I feel like someone I know is on this board or someone I know will find this thread. I try to talk but I get really freaked out. I know I am way too paranoid. I hear that all the time too.
I don't like the feeling I have now. I am unable to tell anyone anything. Of course God is the only one who knows all. However, I feel like someone I know is on this board or someone I know will find this thread. I try to talk but I get really freaked out. I know I am way too paranoid. I hear that all the time too.
There is liberty to be found in that feeling of bondage and a reason to let go of the quilt/fear in hope, it helps us to grow in a relationship with God. You do not need to answer to men. Rom 8:33. The Holy Spirit will help, be patient and keep seeking the truth in the Word. Matt 7:7.
(Rom 8:15) For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father.
(Rom 8:16) The Spirit itself beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God:
(Rom 8:17) And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.
(Rom 8:18) For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
(Rom 8:19) For the earnest expectation of the creature waiteth for the manifestation of the sons of God.
(Rom 8:20) For the creature was made subject to vanity, not willingly, but by reason of him who hath subjected the same in hope,
(Rom 8:21) Because the creature itself also shall be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God.
(Rom 8:22) For we know that the whole creation groaneth and travaileth in pain together until now.
(Rom 8:23) And not only they, but ourselves also, which have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of our body.
(Rom 8:24) For we are saved by hope: but hope that is seen is not hope: for what a man seeth, why doth he yet hope for?
(Rom 8:25) But if we hope for that we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.
(Rom 8:26) Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.
Well, even if I know someone you know, I don't tell.
But you need to feel comfortable yourself.QueenEstherP31
New Member
I still need to answer to my spouse. That is clear & always has been.
QueenEstherP31
New Member
Well, even if I know someone you know, I don't tell.
I just meant that I hope my spouse isn't on this board.
Yes you do but a marriage is a partnership. A man and women are co-equal before the cross but we are in different roles. A wife's place is not to be an obedient dog following the husband around but instead to be his helper. As part of being his helper, there are times that you must be his sister in Christ and speak to him to correct him. Sometimes you must be his cheerleader. Sometimes you need to be his confidant and sometimes you need to be his counselor. I've had to do all of that in the last few weeks with my own husband. If I were to just be a silent partner, BOTH of us would suffer greatly and our marriage would be a sham. Honestly - we've been married 26 years and I can safely say that we are closer than we've ever been before, having gone through some tough times together and having to spent a lot of time discussing what is in our hearts. I cannot imagine not having the ability to pour out my heart to my husband and for him to not love me and cherish me enough to be able to listen and love me through the tough times. I can't imagine not being the shoulder for my husband to come to cry on when he needs to.
So yes, you need to answer to your husband but that doesn't mean that you need to be a doormat.
freeatlast
New Member
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Both must be done in a Christian marriage to be in the will of God.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Both must be done in a Christian marriage to be in the will of God.
QueenEstherP31
New Member
I Just Don't Know
I had another response but decided to delete it over the fact that i'm paranoid. This is the problem. I can't tell anyone what the full deal is. I am so stupid & on top of it I feel stupid. Nice.
I had another response but decided to delete it over the fact that i'm paranoid. This is the problem. I can't tell anyone what the full deal is. I am so stupid & on top of it I feel stupid. Nice.
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** I had your quote but I'm editing since you edited your post. I don't want to force you to post anything you're not comfortable with. You are NOT stupid. Please stop saying that.**
You know what? You are honestly speaking as an abused woman. Everything that you've said is so untrue. You are not the cause of anyone's anything. You are not stupid. Your emotions are not wrong. It is not your fault. Is this what you are getting from your husband and your church? Then I can safely say that you are dealing with nothing less than spiritual abuse and I question if there's any other abuse there too.
You are a daughter of the King. You were bought at a price. You have a value worth far more than rubies. You are precious to your Father and have your name written on His hand. You are loved - dearly loved. Please remember that.
You say that being in the world even a little is wrong but are we not all in the world?? The Bible tells us to be in the world but not to be OF the world. In other words, don't let the world control you - do not let it be the driving force in your life. But if we are to be salt and light in the world, we must be in it and influence it. If you feel music is wrong for you, that is your choice but don't let others tell you that if you listen to even godly music that you are hell-bound. That's not true. Wearing pretty clothing (that is modest - and I'm not speaking a burka or covered from earlobes to toes either) is not bad either. The Bible tells us to allow our beauty to come from within but look at all of the Scripture where God speaks of clothing and see how richly He clothes His people!
From what I gather from what you've said, you are in a very dark place but that is not where a child of the King should be. What are the fruits of the Spirit? Joy and peace are two of them and I'm not sensing that in what you've posted. You need to stop hearing the lies of the enemy and instead listen to the truths of your heavenly Father.
You know what? You are honestly speaking as an abused woman. Everything that you've said is so untrue. You are not the cause of anyone's anything. You are not stupid. Your emotions are not wrong. It is not your fault. Is this what you are getting from your husband and your church? Then I can safely say that you are dealing with nothing less than spiritual abuse and I question if there's any other abuse there too.
You are a daughter of the King. You were bought at a price. You have a value worth far more than rubies. You are precious to your Father and have your name written on His hand. You are loved - dearly loved. Please remember that.
You say that being in the world even a little is wrong but are we not all in the world?? The Bible tells us to be in the world but not to be OF the world. In other words, don't let the world control you - do not let it be the driving force in your life. But if we are to be salt and light in the world, we must be in it and influence it. If you feel music is wrong for you, that is your choice but don't let others tell you that if you listen to even godly music that you are hell-bound. That's not true. Wearing pretty clothing (that is modest - and I'm not speaking a burka or covered from earlobes to toes either) is not bad either. The Bible tells us to allow our beauty to come from within but look at all of the Scripture where God speaks of clothing and see how richly He clothes His people!
From what I gather from what you've said, you are in a very dark place but that is not where a child of the King should be. What are the fruits of the Spirit? Joy and peace are two of them and I'm not sensing that in what you've posted. You need to stop hearing the lies of the enemy and instead listen to the truths of your heavenly Father.
QueenEstherP31
New Member
Yes you do but a marriage is a partnership. A man and women are co-equal before the cross but we are in different roles. A wife's place is not to be an obedient dog following the husband around but instead to be his helper. As part of being his helper, there are times that you must be his sister in Christ and speak to him to correct him. Sometimes you must be his cheerleader. Sometimes you need to be his confidant and sometimes you need to be his counselor. I've had to do all of that in the last few weeks with my own husband. If I were to just be a silent partner, BOTH of us would suffer greatly and our marriage would be a sham. Honestly - we've been married 26 years and I can safely say that we are closer than we've ever been before, having gone through some tough times together and having to spent a lot of time discussing what is in our hearts. I cannot imagine not having the ability to pour out my heart to my husband and for him to not love me and cherish me enough to be able to listen and love me through the tough times. I can't imagine not being the shoulder for my husband to come to cry on when he needs to.
So yes, you need to answer to your husband but that doesn't mean that you need to be a doormat.
Before & after the conversion my role has never been equal. Money & decisions have never been my jurisdiction so to speak. My spouse firmly believes that he is the man & that the woman is unequal. Period. Did the talking thing with the preachers & the Christian/non Christian counselors. Doesn't help. I again can't get into what the reasons are why we are there. Husband does all the talking & i'm not comfortable with the questions in front of him or alone by myself because I can't get into the reasons why. I have nothing to gain & much to lose. He talks for me. Bottom line is that I have been worn down. I feel I have nothing valuable to say or feel anymore. I have nothing to contribute but keeping the house clean & meals made. That is & always has been my role. I said that I used to be independent until I got married. I gave up a lot when that happened. It happened slowly. Now well, forget it. There was no other way but to give in. I tell myself that this is how it is to be whether I admit it or not alone to myself.
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QE - Please tell me about yourself. How long have you been married? How did you meet your husband? What sort of church do you attend (you don't need to be specific in the church but just the denomination and such)?
I'd also like to ask a blunt question and this will be important for you to answer. Do you feel safe with your husband? Do you feel safe to say what you feel to him or do you fear that you would be hurt (physically, emotionally or spiritually) if you did?
I'd also like to ask a blunt question and this will be important for you to answer. Do you feel safe with your husband? Do you feel safe to say what you feel to him or do you fear that you would be hurt (physically, emotionally or spiritually) if you did?