I sympathize with your position, since I'm the type that wants to get along with everyone. However, as a pastor who has three times had Charistmatics try to take away members (succeeding twice), I separate from all Charismatics to keep my sheep safe.
I was just with a pastor friend (who is not IFB like I am) who recently had a split in his church due to the insistence of the Charismatics on spreading tongues in the church. He's a dear friend, but I think he could have avoided the whole problem by separating in the start, and not letting any Charismatics in the church.
Because of all of this, I will practice ecclesiastical separation from any church I know to be Charismatic, even if they preach the same Gospel (and many of them do not).
In my opinion, that's a case of discipline. There should NEVER be sheep stealing ever and for a church to start going through something like that, then it's definitely time to separate. I can totally understand being gun-shy around Charismatics now and I believe I would feel similarly in your situation. I don't think all Charismatics are bad, although I do disagree with them on things and things that they might say are essentials, but when you get a bad one, they are really quite bad.
ETA - I know it's not regular church discipline but maybe more of "body of Christ" discipline.