Featured Is Divorce the Unforgivable Sin?

No. A man is to be the husband of "one" wife. If his wife bugs out... If the wife bugs out and leaves a man high and dry..., where's the sin that needs to be forgiven? (And the controversy rages on)

For the most holy of the holiest and pious individuals..., yeah! You gonna be inna' heap a trouble, son.

:tongue3:

 

When a person, man or woman, is called by the Lord, to serve Him, are we to stand in judgement of God's decision?

In a former church, a man was nominated to serve as a deacon. I don't know the history of his divorce, as it happened many years before I met him. Married again, both he and his wife were faithful members of the church and from all outward appearances served the Lord in their daily lives.

The day his nomination was brought before the congregation for a vote is the day I changed my viewpoint on this subject. That man and woman had to stand and listen to condemnation by those who forgot "the man without sin, let him cast the first stone".

Looking back, that situation, and some other similar ones, is part of the reason I drifted away from the church for so many years. How could people, professing to walk with the Holy Spirit in their hearts, be so mean spirited towards others? Especially, within the 4 walls of the church.

 

Oldtimer..., I witnessed the same situation early on in my Christian Life. In that matter however the pastor threw the guy completely out of the church! Course, he headed for the door to begin with but...

He was divorced..., remarried..., and then got saved. If, upon coming to Jesus, our Lord throws our sins as far as the East is from the West who are we to take exception?

And this was in an Independent, Fundamental Baptist Church. :BangHead:

 

I'm so glad that God looks at the heart rather than our mistakes. There is only one sin that is the unforgiveable sin, and it ain't divorce! Far too often, in our "sure we know everything" years that we make wrong decisions and choices, including our choice or marital partners. For those who listened to God's voice and chose correctly the first time, I pray they look at their decision with humble and thankful hearts.

For those of us who didn't, and found ourselves divorced, I am forever grateful that God forgave that sin of rebellion and restored me to His service.

For those who want to sit in pious judgment, I don't think there's a divorced person here who would tell you they're happy about what happened and that they don't live without regret each day. I know I do. It still does not keep one from serving God, as HE has called them. It's His choice to make, not ours.

 

2 answers here!

Not unforgivable sin, as the blood of jesus on the Cross cleanses from ALL confessed din...

About servingthe Lord...

David was still used of/by the Lord, BUT was MUCH worse off than before it, so the Pastor/teacher etc MIGHT have to face the truth that act would make it really har to be accepted in same ministry any further!

In a practical sense, their choice to commit that sin would mean en of their former ministry, at least in regards to how others see them in it!

 

I'm so glad that God looks at the heart rather than our mistakes.

Amen to that.

You know, there is not one poster on this forum board that is not constantly bombarded with sin and/or otherwise have committed a ton of mistakes in their life. Not one! I'll admit that I am as described above and will be until this flesh is gone. Satan is relentless and we are weak.

What is really amusing however is the number of folks who will absolutely not admit it and carry themselves as above the rest of us. "If a man says he is without sin..."

My wife and I have been married for right at 47 years. It's been tough on occasion but we made it. Life is tough. My hard nosed approach is often an offense to some but I like to deal with reality. Some people find themselves divorced through no-fault of their own. Stuff happens!

To me, the best thing to do is simply raise yourself "above" the critics and move on. Let 'em remain in their biased condition trying to hide behind Scriptures to judge you. From what little bit I know of the Scriptures all I can find is the Husband is Not To Put Away His Wife. If your husband left you, you still have to live and keep on with the food, shelter and clothing.

 

I have to sadly say, that if being divorced meant you couldn't serve the Lord, our churches would be empty, because there would be no SS teachers, or church workers left to run things.

 

God forgives divorce just like any other sin.

However, say a man commits a murder and goes to prison. In prison he repents and gets saved and God forgives him for the murder. The person doesn't get out of prison because even though God forgives him, the sin still carries consequenses.

In the case of divorce, 2 Timothy never says that God doesnt forgive a person for divorce, but one of the consequenses of divorce is that the divorced person is no longer qualified to serve as an elder (deacon or pastor).

Why?,,I believe this consequense is a result of trust. Pastors and deacons are required at times to council families and couples with marital problems. How can a pastor whose own house is not "in order" advise someone else on how to keep theirs in order?

The Bible never says that the divorced person cannot be a teacher, or even a preacher, but he cannot be pastor or be a deacon. Teachers and preachers help the pastor to feed the sheep under close supervision of the pastor, but the pastor and the deacons actually tend the sheep.

Forgiveness does not negate consequenses. Forgiveness and consequenses are two seperate and distinct issues. 2 Timothy is about consequenses, not forgiveness.

John

 

Not saying that you cannot, but the practical sense is NOT able to minister in same fashion as before, and others will see you in a different light!

 

seekingthetruth, what if the wife of the (deacon or pastor) packs up and leaves? Is he still held accountable in that vein?

 

I would have to say yes. Regardless of why the wife left, she still left, and the pastor's own home is not in order.

There would always be a degree of distrust from people that come to him for counseling.

Besides, it doesnt matter what I think, what matters is what the Bible says. People are always trying to find compromises on this topic instead of just reading the very clear instructions on elder qualifications and obeying them.

God has His reasons. I have stated what I believe the reason for this scripture is, but the fact is that none of us really know. The Bible says that a divorced person is no longer qualified to be a church elder. period. What's to question?

John

 

2 Timothy clearly disqualifies a person from serving as an elder, but it never denies anyone a call to serve. You can be a teacher without being a deacon or pastor. You can be a church secretary, or even a preacher (you just cant pastor or hold an elder position in a church)

It's not a matter of judging another's past sins, it's about obeying the Word of God. IMHO, when we compromise the Word of God and fail to obey it, then it is us that are in sin, for failing to obey God is a sin unto itself, no matter how unfair it sounds or how illogical or judgemental it seems to us mere humans.

We MUST obey the Word of God. If we don't, then we ourselves are sinning.

John

 

The Bible says that a divorced person is no longer qualified to be a church elder. period. What's to question?

The Word is quite specific, for sure. Don't we though on occasion approach the Word with a bias? A preconceived notion from early in life instruction, perhaps?

I agree that one should "NOT" be a Pastor or a Deacon if he divorced his wife. On the other hand, how can anyone of us just decide that a Pastor or Deacon did not have his house in order if in fact the wife just up and left with no fore-warning or indication?

In the last church we attended the wife of a deacon called every member of the church with the "Breaking News", without her husband's knowledge. Is he to be held responsible for her actions? I mean, women do have minds of their own and sometimes, just like the rest of us, they make bum decisions in the heat of the night.

Not trying to argue with you here..., just bringing up a what if. Obviously, you have already stated you position on the matter but what if it happened to you?

 

In the case of a serving minister divorcing, you can usually count on him being portrayed as a longsuffering and bewildered cherub; it's the wife who is the implacable jezebel, harpy, etc.

 

Exactly Jerome.

People have preconcieved notions that skew their judgement, that's why the Bible is very clear on how to handle this.

The jilted pastor should refuse to divorce his wife, and he should step down as pastor until his house is in order.

John

 

I personally don't know of any church that forbids a divorce person from serving the Lord. I do know of churches that forbid a divorce person from serving in the office of elder or deacon.

The real question is if a person is divorced, is he qualified to be a elder/pastor or deacon?

"Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife...
"Let deacons each be the husband of one wife,"

Its really simple that if an overseer/elder/pastor or deacon is not "the husband of one wife" he is not qualified to be in the office of elder/deacon. I would hope no one would disagree as the Bible doesn't leave anything for interpretation here. It's very direct. It has nothing to do with serving in the church or fellowship in the church. It only has to do with the church offices.

So, what does "the husband of one wife" mean? Some teach it means that the elder/ deacon has only ever had one wife. Usually they limit it to just divorce cases. Another view is "one wife at a time." In other words polygamy. Now, I would have to agree that Polygamy would be prohibited here, but I don't believe that's Paul's point.

I believe Paul is teaching that a elder/deacon must be a one woman man. A man that is faithful to one wife. All the other points are about his current character. Paul does not mean that if a person gets married and divorced that he never, ever can be a deacon or elder. My church forbids divorce people, but I of course disagree. I know a guy that was married at a very young age. His wife left him to run off with another man. He remarried. He's very faithful to his wife. He has 4 children with his wife. He is in no way disqualified to be an elder/deacon. He is an "one woman man."

 

I believe Paul is teaching that a elder/deacon must be a one woman man.

jbh28, I agree with you completely. As stated earlier, The Controversy Rages On.

"Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife...
"Let deacons each be the husband of one wife,"

The Scripture reference you provided is absent any mention of divorce. Obviously though, some believe said Scripture must be taken in it's full context which then does make reference to divorce. And so, the controversy rages on.

 

Would it matter if the Divorce was on "Biblical grounds" or not?

 

To those that teach divorce disqualifies, I don't believe it matters to them. Which is one major problem I have with that view. Other than the fact that it's not in the Bible!