The part you put in bold is: because the difference between my Arminian theology and the doctrine of eternal security as believed in my SBC church, is only a matter of definitions and terminology.
From Charles Stanley's example on his webstite years ago, consider a person who accepts Christ as Savior and Lord and serves the Lord for two years. After the two years, he is converted to the Muslim religion and remains a Muslim the rest of his life and dies a Muslim.
Most Doctrine Of Eternal Security (DOES) Christians believe that the person was never really a True Christian for those two years because a True Christian would not stop believing.
The Classic Arminians believe that person was a True Christion, but forfeited his salvation when he decided to stop believing in Christ.
In both beliefs, the man died a Muslim and therefore will not go to heaven. The difference is how the two beliefs describe the person who was a Christian (or said he was a Christian) for two years and then stopped believing. The two describe the man differently, but the result is the same, i.e. the difference is in terminology and definitions. Christians in both beliefs are equally sure of their salvation.
DOES Christians ask Arminians how they are sure that they will not stop trusting Christ in a years or two and forfeit their salvation. The answer is: I have accepted Christ as my Savior and Lord, and trust in His saving and Keeping power.
Arminians Christian ask DOES Christians how they know that they will not stop trusting Christ in a year or two, and are therefore not a True Christian now, but just think they are. The answer is: I have accepted Christ as my Savior and Lord, and trust in His saving and Keeping power.
The answer is the same and the assurance is the same.
Over the years, many DOES believers have been mislead about what Arminians believe, both by DOES ministers and DOES written matterial. You don't have to depend on these potentially misleading sources anymore. With the Internet, just go to the denomination's Webpage and and check it out for yourself.
The pastor of my SBC church believes that a True Christain will not stop trusting Christ which is what most DOES Christians believe.
My belief is close to the Classic Arminian belief which says a true Christain that stops believing has forfeited (not lost) his salvation by making a decision to stop believing.
The Wesleyan Arminians believe a True Christian can also lose his salvation while still believing by long term resistance to the conviction of the Holy Spirit's by refusing to repent and be remorseful for known sins.
There are others (such as fringe Holiness Churches) who believe that a Christian cannot be sure of his salvation. Many DOES Christians group these with the Arminians and assume the Classic Arminians and Wesleyan Arminians also believe that a Chrsitian cannot be sure of his salvation. Arminian Christians are just as sure of their salvation as DOES Christians.