Reasons Not to Go To Church

[Darrell C]

Thanks for taking a look at this, but, I should warn you, if you were looking for an excuse not to go to Church, and hoped to find it here, that's not what you're going to find.

Rather, in view are legitimate reasons why some would not go to the House of the Lord to worship God and to fellowship with other believers.

I think there are some legitimate reasons that we should keep in mind.

While it is true we do not have to go to a church building to worship, or fellowship, we see a general pattern of this being carried out in the New Testament Early Church. We can certainly extend our worship (and should) outside of regular attendance, but there is just something different about being a part of a Church Family that I don't think we will find in exact degree as we do there.

That being said, I would like to kick this off with a reason I myself can relate to, as it impacted my own attendance after I was saved...

...being socially inept.

And some would say I still suffer from that, lol.

What I mean is that there are some people who do not do well in large groups (or even small ones) of people they aren't familiar with. You might say, "Get over it," or, "You will get used to it," well...easy for you to say.

Some people have a fear of social interaction, and don't do well. I'll relate a story to illustrate this. All names will be changed to protect the innocent (or guilty, depending on your perspective):

There was a man who had a brother who married a woman (despite the then unsaved brother's best efforts to talk him out of it) that must have grown up fairly isolated. They were married, and it didn't take long to see this woman had issues with interacting with people.

They had children, and then the brother decides to divorce the woman (despite the now saved brother's best efforts to talk him out of it), and due to the woman's behavioral issues the children grow up with an apparent disrespect for their mother, which, was not acceptable to the now saved brother.

At a family gathering, the now saved brother notices one of the daughters, about 10 years old at the time, being very disrespectful to her mother. The child is warned several times, until finally the now saved brother takes her into a bedroom, sits her down on the bed, and questions her about her disrespect. The child apologizes, but, being one who feels discipline is necessary and that a lesson had to be taught, he asks the child if she felt she had been in the wrong. The child acknowledges she has, and when asked the question she wasn't expecting, "Do you think punishment is in order?" she tearily stammers "Ye-es."

So she is told to wait there, and the now saved brother leaves the room, and comes back with a belt in his hand. Then the tears really begin to come. The now saved brother asks the child, "Does this belt scare you?"

"Ye-es," comes the muttered response.

The now saved brother then says, "That is the same fear your mother feels when she is around other people, hon. Now go back in there and try to show a little respect, and think about how it feels when someone is afraid."

End of story? Well no, not really. The difficulties of the mother have never been resolved, she is still fearful when around other people, and, there is still a separation between mother and children.

But the point would be simply to understand that some people are afraid of other people, and we might see that as rational, but, it is something to keep in mind when someone doesn't attend services regularly.

Praise God for those who, when a stranger walks in, makes that stranger feel at home. This is a gift of God in my view.

So how about those that have this problem? I know for myself, when I was saved I felt very awkward going to Church, and eventually got used to it, but...how can we help those that have that problem?

Any suggestions?

So that is one legitimate reason I would give for not going to Church, but, it is not meant to be an excuse. The primary reason for bringing this topic up is for the Body to discuss it and maybe, just maybe, we might play a role in helping someone overcome that fear, which has it's origins usually from our enemy.

Any other reasons we might find people not regularly worshipping and fellowshipping?


God bless.

 

[Iconoclast]

Thanks for taking a look at this, but, I should warn you, if you were looking for an excuse not to go to Church, and hoped to find it here, that's not what you're going to find.

Rather, in view are legitimate reasons why some would not go to the House of the Lord to worship God and to fellowship with other believers.

I think there are some legitimate reasons that we should keep in mind.

While it is true we do not have to go to a church building to worship, or fellowship, we see a general pattern of this being carried out in the New Testament Early Church. We can certainly extend our worship (and should) outside of regular attendance, but there is just something different about being a part of a Church Family that I don't think we will find in exact degree as we do there.

That being said, I would like to kick this off with a reason I myself can relate to, as it impacted my own attendance after I was saved...

...being socially inept.

And some would say I still suffer from that, lol.

What I mean is that there are some people who do not do well in large groups (or even small ones) of people they aren't familiar with. You might say, "Get over it," or, "You will get used to it," well...easy for you to say.

Some people have a fear of social interaction, and don't do well. I'll relate a story to illustrate this. All names will be changed to protect the innocent (or guilty, depending on your perspective):

There was a man who had a brother who married a woman (despite the then unsaved brother's best efforts to talk him out of it) that must have grown up fairly isolated. They were married, and it didn't take long to see this woman had issues with interacting with people.

They had children, and then the brother decides to divorce the woman (despite the now saved brother's best efforts to talk him out of it), and due to the woman's behavioral issues the children grow up with an apparent disrespect for their mother, which, was not acceptable to the now saved brother.

At a family gathering, the now saved brother notices one of the daughters, about 10 years old at the time, being very disrespectful to her mother. The child is warned several times, until finally the now saved brother takes her into a bedroom, sits her down on the bed, and questions her about her disrespect. The child apologizes, but, being one who feels discipline is necessary and that a lesson had to be taught, he asks the child if she felt she had been in the wrong. The child acknowledges she has, and when asked the question she wasn't expecting, "Do you think punishment is in order?" she tearily stammers "Ye-es."

So she is told to wait there, and the now saved brother leaves the room, and comes back with a belt in his hand. Then the tears really begin to come. The now saved brother asks the child, "Does this belt scare you?"

"Ye-es," comes the muttered response.

The now saved brother then says, "That is the same fear your mother feels when she is around other people, hon. Now go back in there and try to show a little respect, and think about how it feels when someone is afraid."

End of story? Well no, not really. The difficulties of the mother have never been resolved, she is still fearful when around other people, and, there is still a separation between mother and children.

But the point would be simply to understand that some people are afraid of other people, and we might see that as rational, but, it is something to keep in mind when someone doesn't attend services regularly.

Praise God for those who, when a stranger walks in, makes that stranger feel at home. This is a gift of God in my view.

So how about those that have this problem? I know for myself, when I was saved I felt very awkward going to Church, and eventually got used to it, but...how can we help those that have that problem?

Any suggestions?

So that is one legitimate reason I would give for not going to Church, but, it is not meant to be an excuse. The primary reason for bringing this topic up is for the Body to discuss it and maybe, just maybe, we might play a role in helping someone overcome that fear, which has it's origins usually from our enemy.

Any other reasons we might find people not regularly worshipping and fellowshipping?


God bless.

Two thoughts to begin with.
God knows our frame and he has designed the local assembly to be a place to nourish souls and to seek to edify one another. This can take place when members go to worship with an eye to minister to those in need and be sensitive to the fact new converts have been beaten up by the world, the flesh and the devil, and first come into the assembly in a very needy condition.
Prayer should be made even the night before for any such that come in that many would cultivate such an outward focus.....rather than forming a clique of familiar friends.

Two would be if possible, use the gift of hospitality to draw close to new converts in a less formal setting.

 

[tyndale1946]

Two thoughts to begin with.
God knows our frame and he has designed the local assembly to be a place to nourish souls and to seek to edify one another. This can take place when members go to worship with an eye to minister to those in need and be sensitive to the fact new converts have been beaten up by the world, the flesh and the devil, and first come into the assembly in a very needy condition.
Prayer should be made even the night before for any such that come in that many would cultivate such an outward focus.....rather than forming a clique of familiar friends.

Two would be if possible, use the gift of hospitality to draw close to new converts in a less formal setting.

There are 10,000 + reasons not to go to church and the Lord has heard everyone of them... We only have to answer to God why we didn't go to his house and hear his message to us of his goodness love and mercy and what we should do for each other because of what he has done for us to receive a blessing... But I want to tell you about a Brother in our church named Jim... When I look at what Brother Jim goes through to get to church all my excuses go out the window. Brother Jim is a frail old gentleman and comes to church in a three piece suit. As Brother Jim is walking he is pulling behind him a two wheeled cart that holds his oxygen. He has tubes running from his cart to his nose where he breathes. Very seldom does Brother Jim miss church. Is that true dedication to Lord?... And I complain when I feel a little pain and can't go. I did miss church for three weeks for stomach flu and a bladder infection. I'll bet each one of us on here is either similar to Brother Jim or have Brother or Sisters in the church like him. So the next time we feel we can miss church let us look to those who have been afflicted in life, yet makes it to the house of God... What a blessing!... Think also that sometime in the future we could be just like them and then our Faith will be surely tested... How much do you really love the Lord?... Brother Glen

 

[Scarlett O.]

Here's three of my favorite videos encouraging people who are new to the church thing and new in understanding God and Christ to actually COME to church and to Christ.

There's actually two back to back on this one that are great.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3SQlTIjJ2U

The second more about coming to church.

 

[pwarbi]

I think at times in the past we have all had second thoughts about going, I don't mind admitting it to you guys because the main person, God knows anyway. There have been times when I have not been so well, nothing serious just a cough and a cold and I've thought I'll not go today.

Where I live there are quite a lot of elderly people who all walk past my street to go to church, and I see them, with their walking sticks and frames, some being pushed in their chairs full of ailments all making the effort to go and say thank you to the Lord so why aren't I making that effort?

That's when I pull myself together, get changed and go. Thank God for the blessings I have got in my life instead of feeling sorry for myself.

 

[tyndale1946]

I think at times in the past we have all had second thoughts about going, I don't mind admitting it to you guys because the main person, God knows anyway. There have been times when I have not been so well, nothing serious just a cough and a cold and I've thought I'll not go today.

Where I live there are quite a lot of elderly people who all walk past my street to go to church, and I see them, with their walking sticks and frames, some being pushed in their chairs full of ailments all making the effort to go and say thank you to the Lord so why aren't I making that effort?

That's when I pull myself together, get changed and go. Thank God for the blessings I have got in my life instead of feeling sorry for myself.

AMEN!... That is exactly what I'm talking about!... God bless his faithful servants... Brother Glen

 

[BrandonA]

A man I know took a break from church for a while. He did it out of a spiritual conviction to stop going (temporarily) and focus more personally on the Lord, because he had allowed church to become a box that you check in order to feel good about yourself before God, rather than something that actually brings you closer to him. The trappings and busyness had come in between him and God. He took five, meditated in the Word and prayed for a few months instead of going on Sunday. The fruits were only good once he came back.

 

[corndogggy]

I think social issues were a little oversimplified in the first post. Some people, myself included, are socially awkward. And, it really has nothing to do with being isolated while growing up. If you follow the homeschool community, this is a huge misconception, that all homeschooled kids will grow up and turn out this way, and comments like that just further this notion.

I see social situations as a parade of fakery. I'm brutally honest and quite honestly some days I would rather punch myself in the nose than to participate in small talk or act like I'm happy to see someone. Well, I'm probably not, and I really don't want to lie, it's exhausting.

Usually the biggest social butterflies are the ones that have no issue with lying. If they feel awful, they appear to feel great. If they don't like you, you'll be welcomed with a huge smile. They'll act like you're their best friend, but make no mistake, as soon as they leave they'll be talking about you.

To be honest, I don't see how people live that way, it's evil to me. I have zero issues admitting that I'd rather stay at home than to take part in such things.

But, when you are new, it is in fact nice to be acknowledged that you exist. Some people are so full of themselves they simply don't notice, and this is intimidating to others. One time I was going to play guitar in front of the church, and this popular singer came up to me and introduced himself like he had never seen me before, put on a parade of fakery like I had never seen. I knew this guy, I just didn't care to talk to him. So he puts on his big fake smile and asks me how long I've been going to church here. My answer? "Ten years".

_awkward silence_

Imagine being new and everybody is like this, like you don't exist.

 

[pwarbi]

While I can accept the point and understand that in every walk of life you'll get people who like to put on a show. They'll do things to impress others and have ulterior motives behind why they do things. If that involves going to church then while they might be impressing others around them it's not the one that truly matters, God.

I'm not here to judge anyone, and anybody I see at church is there for their own reasons as I am. While it's true that I can pray anytime anywhere and feel close to God, I feel closer to him when I'm in his own house.

It might sound strange to some but the way I see it is that you don't have a best friend and never visit their home. They don't expect you to, they'll always be there for you wherever you are, but you go because you want to. And I want to. God is always in my home, I see that it's only right that I go to his.

 

[corndogggy]

It might sound strange to some but the way I see it is that you don't have a best friend and never visit their home. They don't expect you to, they'll always be there for you wherever you are, but you go because you want to. And I want to. God is always in my home, I see that it's only right that I go to his.

A church building is nothing but a man made shelter though, designed to maximize acoustics, visibility, and emotions. I'm sure some people enjoy that experience, but realistically, you are there to be close to the other members.

 

[MB]

Hi Corn doggy;
The best thing about church is the presence of the Lord. When people are gathered in the name of the Lord. Jesus is among them. We will all be with Him soon. It only makes sense to get use to the idea of being around other Christians because this is where Christ will be in heaven.
MB

 

[Darrell C]

I think at times in the past we have all had second thoughts about going, I don't mind admitting it to you guys because the main person, God knows anyway. There have been times when I have not been so well, nothing serious just a cough and a cold and I've thought I'll not go today.

Where I live there are quite a lot of elderly people who all walk past my street to go to church, and I see them, with their walking sticks and frames, some being pushed in their chairs full of ailments all making the effort to go and say thank you to the Lord so why aren't I making that effort?

That's when I pull myself together, get changed and go. Thank God for the blessings I have got in my life instead of feeling sorry for myself.

Hello Pwarbi, and welcome to the Forum, I hope your time here will be blessed and that you in turn will be a blessing to those here.

But let me ask, do you think that the person that was sick and stayed home is in error?

Again, welcome to the forum, it is good to see so many new "faces" showing up.


God bless.

 

[Darrell C]

AMEN!... That is exactly what I'm talking about!... God bless his faithful servants... Brother Glen

Thanks for the response brother Glen, but I just have to ask, first, would you condemn someone for laying out sick?

And secondly, are you saying, in light of the scope of the OP...there is no legitimate reason for missing Church?


God bless.

 

[Darrell C]

I think social issues were a little oversimplified in the first post. Some people, myself included, are socially awkward. And, it really has nothing to do with being isolated while growing up. If you follow the homeschool community, this is a huge misconception, that all homeschooled kids will grow up and turn out this way, and comments like that just further this notion.

I see social situations as a parade of fakery. I'm brutally honest and quite honestly some days I would rather punch myself in the nose than to participate in small talk or act like I'm happy to see someone. Well, I'm probably not, and I really don't want to lie, it's exhausting.

Usually the biggest social butterflies are the ones that have no issue with lying. If they feel awful, they appear to feel great. If they don't like you, you'll be welcomed with a huge smile. They'll act like you're their best friend, but make no mistake, as soon as they leave they'll be talking about you.

To be honest, I don't see how people live that way, it's evil to me. I have zero issues admitting that I'd rather stay at home than to take part in such things.

But, when you are new, it is in fact nice to be acknowledged that you exist. Some people are so full of themselves they simply don't notice, and this is intimidating to others. One time I was going to play guitar in front of the church, and this popular singer came up to me and introduced himself like he had never seen me before, put on a parade of fakery like I had never seen. I knew this guy, I just didn't care to talk to him. So he puts on his big fake smile and asks me how long I've been going to church here. My answer? "Ten years".

_awkward silence_

Imagine being new and everybody is like this, like you don't exist.

Hey thanks for the honesty, Corndoggy. It is true that the trappings of a social medium can get a little, well...soap opera.

And I agree the OP was oversimplified, as it was meant to be simple.

The question in view is, now that you have expressed an honest view of your own feelings, do I have a right to criticize you for those feelings, or, do I have a command to make sure I do not contribute to them? I think one thing can be said about us, is we have a better understanding of what is in man than the unbeliever. That doesn't mean we can't learn to love others, but, we don't caricaturize the weaknesses we still have either.

Again, thanks for the response.


God bless.

 

[Darrell C]

While I can accept the point and understand that in every walk of life you'll get people who like to put on a show. They'll do things to impress others and have ulterior motives behind why they do things. If that involves going to church then while they might be impressing others around them it's not the one that truly matters, God.

I'm not here to judge anyone, and anybody I see at church is there for their own reasons as I am. While it's true that I can pray anytime anywhere and feel close to God, I feel closer to him when I'm in his own house.

It might sound strange to some but the way I see it is that you don't have a best friend and never visit their home. They don't expect you to, they'll always be there for you wherever you are, but you go because you want to. And I want to. God is always in my home, I see that it's only right that I go to his.

And this is one of the underlying issues I hoped to address in the Thread. We know there is good reason for being a part of a local body, but not everyone does, and sometimes their reasons are, in my view, legitimate. We just don't know what a person has gone through which has made it difficult for them to interact on the local level. Forum interaction I pretty easy, because it is primarily anonymous.

And I think you have touched on the real reason why someone would go to Church...to worship God. Unfortunately, some go for the social interaction, and some because they feel it is just what they do to be "Christians."


God bless.

 

[Darrell C]

A church building is nothing but a man made shelter though, designed to maximize acoustics, visibility, and emotions. I'm sure some people enjoy that experience, but realistically, you are there to be close to the other members.

That would fall into a legitimate reason to go to Church.

But the priority for me is to meet with God. I say that because I believe firmly that God will communicate to us through the man of God preaching. Some are more worship oriented concerning music. I prefer congregational singing myself, but enjoy the message most. That is the highlight for me (unless they sing "Orphans of God," lol).


God bless.

 

[Darrell C]

Hi Corn doggy;
The best thing about church is the presence of the Lord. When people are gathered in the name of the Lord. Jesus is among them. We will all be with Him soon. It only makes sense to get use to the idea of being around other Christians because this is where Christ will be in heaven.
MB

Awesome point.


God bless.

 

[Darrell C]

Okay, anyone else have any thoughts on legitimate reasons for not going to Church?

God bless.

 

[pwarbi]

Hello Pwarbi, and welcome to the Forum, I hope your time here will be blessed and that you in turn will be a blessing to those here.

But let me ask, do you think that the person that was sick and stayed home is in error?

Again, welcome to the forum, it is good to see so many new "faces" showing up.


God bless.

Thank you for the welcome, and thank you all for letting me be part of your community.

For me, and even though @corndogggy says that a church is just a man made structure, I've always seen it as God's house and its a place that I feel closer to him than anywhere else. I'm there for that reason, I obviously have friends there but I don't go to see them, I can socialise with them anytime.

As for the people who can't get to church, for whatever reason, God doesn't look any more favourably on me than he does them, just because I am there and they're not, so of course they're not wrong to do what is best for them and their health.

 

[Darrell C]

Thank you for the welcome, and thank you all for letting me be part of your community.

For me, and even though @corndogggy says that a church is just a man made structure, I've always seen it as God's house and its a place that I feel closer to him than anywhere else. I'm there for that reason, I obviously have friends there but I don't go to see them, I can socialise with them anytime.

As for the people who can't get to church, for whatever reason, God doesn't look any more favourably on me than he does them, just because I am there and they're not, so of course they're not wrong to do what is best for them and their health.

When I was newly saved, as I said, I had a little trouble getting used to being around people. From the time I was 13 I was primarily around band-mates, and while I could get on a stage and play in front of large crowds, going to Church was unnerving. Partially because I was newly awoken to my own sin, and felt like everyone in Church was "Moses on the Mountain," so to speak.

I have come to the realization that my walk with the Lord is missing something when I am not regular in attendance. It's something we can't really get anywhere else.

And a reverence for the House of God is just a Bible basic. I wonder, if we were nomadic in our culture, if we would erect altars to specify a place to meet with God. And that probably sounds a little strange, but, I too see that the building can be viewed as holy ground. We know the Body is the Church, but that place of meeting has earned for some, a reverence distinct from any other place where we meet. That same reverence is not considered if we were to meet at a pizza joint to fellowship. And while I love pizza, lol, it's just not going to be the same.


God bless.