We're not looking for excuses not to go to Church, but legitimate reasons.
God bless.
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Reasons Not to Go To Church
- Thread starter Darrell C
- Start date
We're not looking for excuses not to go to Church, but legitimate reasons.
God bless.
In view was more your feelings about it, rather than the anxiety itself.
God bless.
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You seem awfully sensitive to the issue, Corndoggy. Not sure why you would feel that I am stuck on the issue. That is just one issue that I think we can discuss.
As far as certain people having social anxiety being damaged goods, you have been living under a rock if you do not think that is not only possible but a reality in some people's lives.
And speaking of social issues, do you always get so defensive with people in simple conversations?
God bless.
Interesting point, being anxious around certain people but okay in other settings. And fellowship, of all places, should be a place that one's feels comfortable in.
What do you think you would attribute most as being the reason you feel comfortable in the Church fellowship? That it is the House of God, the people, just personal serenity, or would you count all of those working together?
For me, being around a bunch of kids is uncomfortable. I like kids well enough, but I don't really have it in me to deal with a bunch of them at once. I think that must be a gift, lol.
God bless.
I thought you had found a place you liked, EWF.
Has your brother found somewhere he has been going?
So maybe you can add some reasons why people would not go.
God bless.
I'll be honest, for me I have been battling looking for another place to fellowship, though I have not because there are a lot of people I've come to know and, well, love. The preaching is good, the teaching is good, great spirit of fellowship, but, I get a little bored sometimes. Part of me wants to find an new preacher to sit under, one who might present a bit of a different perspective on Scripture.
But the people and my Pastor keep me there. I would probably feel bad for leaving. I think about it, though.
I'll also say that I feel it is important that one is growing under whatever ministry they are under. I think that any believer has a responsibility to fond another fellowship if they are not being fed properly. And I think sometimes people realize that what they believe stands in contradiction to what is being taught. Catholics leave and join other groups, and vice versa. Talked to a fellow not long ago who left an evangelical fellowship for Catholicism. Said he just liked the orderliness of Catholicism.
But as in my own case, sometimes pride can cause us to leave. And sometimes we just don't fit in. Could be that we haven't really put enough into it to fit in, but hey, people are people, right?
God bless.
When pretentious and assumptive people are involved, yeah, I do.
You might reread it, Corndoggy, it was just a question meant to keep the conversation going.
Feel free to point out the assumption and presumption, we can discuss it.
God bless.
For me, I've missed church for:
*newborns
*sick children (although we would play the game when possible - one go to the 9 am service, race home and the other parent would go to the 11 am)
* me being sick
* migraines
* inclement weather (when church is actually canceled)
* vacation
* ladies' retreat (but I'm with the church women!)
I have to say as a pastor's wife, I feel badly when we get up to get to church every Sunday and people don't show up and so the sanctuary is pretty empty and then later I see on Facebook they went to the beach or apple picking or biking or something similarly not very important to do on a Sunday morning. I know it's their choice to do so but it's pretty discouraging to be getting our family of 6 out of the house by 7:15 am to get everything set up, my husband has worked all week on a message, my daughter has been working on the worship with the worship team - and 10 people have chosen other things to do on Sunday instead of come to church. We're not looking for someone to punch their time card but why work so hard to provide a good, solid, Biblical service if it's not important to people?
*newborns
*sick children (although we would play the game when possible - one go to the 9 am service, race home and the other parent would go to the 11 am)
* me being sick
* migraines
* inclement weather (when church is actually canceled)
* vacation
* ladies' retreat (but I'm with the church women!)
I have to say as a pastor's wife, I feel badly when we get up to get to church every Sunday and people don't show up and so the sanctuary is pretty empty and then later I see on Facebook they went to the beach or apple picking or biking or something similarly not very important to do on a Sunday morning. I know it's their choice to do so but it's pretty discouraging to be getting our family of 6 out of the house by 7:15 am to get everything set up, my husband has worked all week on a message, my daughter has been working on the worship with the worship team - and 10 people have chosen other things to do on Sunday instead of come to church. We're not looking for someone to punch their time card but why work so hard to provide a good, solid, Biblical service if it's not important to people?
Yea, messages like that do happen occasionally.
HankD
All reasonable reasons fro missing Church, lol, but I am a little confused as to why it would bother you that someone went to the beach when you list vacation yourself? I think it might be different if they did this 3 weeks out of the month, but isn't it understandable to miss a service to spend time with your family?
Heard a message on Conference Pulpit once (an Old School Preacher, might have been Donald Gray Barnhouse) that made the point "God created the family before He created the Church." This is something that I think can become a problem for some, and, as an example, I have seen husbands neglected because the wife is so wrapped up in her "ministry" that the marriage takes a backseat.
Relational priorities have to be established and maintained, and I list them in this order:
1. God;
2. Spouse (because the marriage preceded the children);
3. Children;
4. Immediate family;
5. Church Family (and 4. and 5. could be debated as to position, though I see them in this order);
6. Neighbors (everyone else we come into contact with).
That's understandable, but, we see a general principle in Scripture that what we do in service to God is never for earthly satisfactions or recognition.
You guys do what you do because you love the Lord, right? You would do it if no-one showed up, right? You have your reward in Heaven, and, if you want to pray for some sunburn...you can do that too.
God bless.
I didn't mention we live on an island. The most anyone has to travel to get to a beach is about 20 minutes. I'm not talking about a beach vacation but like "Oh, it's a nice day! Let's go to the beach!" We do that - and if it's on a Sunday, we go after church. We can be at the beach by noon if we wanted to since church is out at 10:15/10:30 the latest.
Totally agree but shouldn't going to church be part of what we do? It is part of our family heritage and we always went unless there was a very good reason not to (like I posted) even before we were a pastoring family.
Fully agree with you but honestly, how does going to church mean that you are putting church ahead of your children or your spouse? I don't understand that. I do understand if your being involved in ministry is getting in the way of your family - that you are out too much or too preoccupied to give proper attention to your family but shouldn't Sunday morning worship just be a part of our Christian culture?
You guys do what you do because you love the Lord, right? You would do it if no-one showed up, right? You have your reward in Heaven, and, if you want to pray for some sunburn...you can do that too.
God bless.
If no one showed up, we would serve the Lord in other ways in other churches or ministries. We would shut this one down since it obviously wasn't doing what church and pastoring is meant to do. You can't shepherd when there are no sheep!
sounds like some people here are Sunday Sabbatarians, which contributes to an "attendance" mindset.
a couple of years ago, at the SBC Sunday School training shindig, the theme was "Sunday Rules"
how the whom week supposedly revolves around Sunday attendance, Sunday worship, Sunday learning, God's house, yada yada.
I objected on the grounds that this type of mentality does not support a "body" reality.
do we eat once a week? Bathe once a week? Comb our hair once a week? We care for our body daily (usually)
When the Body of Christ is only cared for once a week, the body feels neglected - rightly so.
it translates into a dichotomy of church and "real" life
a couple of years ago, at the SBC Sunday School training shindig, the theme was "Sunday Rules"
how the whom week supposedly revolves around Sunday attendance, Sunday worship, Sunday learning, God's house, yada yada.
I objected on the grounds that this type of mentality does not support a "body" reality.
do we eat once a week? Bathe once a week? Comb our hair once a week? We care for our body daily (usually)
When the Body of Christ is only cared for once a week, the body feels neglected - rightly so.
it translates into a dichotomy of church and "real" life
StFrancis
Member
Only when you are sick and you are unable to go to church. I do avoid travelling on Sundays instead of going to church. I don't know how I can spend my Sunday without going to church. I like listening to songs and I also like singing. We must pray and sing whenever we have missed going to church. We are supposed to take our children to church even when we feel not to go.
pwarbi
Member
Well it looks like @Darrell C you've got your reasons to skip church you was asking for, and as a bonus, you unfortunately with some of the posts got maybe a few excuses also...
We have a family in our fellowship that will take trips sometimes on sunday. The father was working a lot of hours due to two jobs, and didn't see his family too much. Personally, I didn't have a problem with it, I felt it was a good thing for them to spend time together. Kids will only be kids for a certain amount of time.
And you guys must get started pretty early! I thought my fellowship was early (our service starts about 45 minutes earlier than most.
I agree. I think one of the most important lessons we can try to teach kids is the importance of going to worship, and that this day is special. But I don't think missing a few Sundays is going to destroy that lesson.
As mentioned, I have seen this. I have also seen this in regards to a spouse taking a backseat to children, as well.
And yes, it is part of our culture, but the intent of the thread is to simply explore reasons for not going, and understanding better why some don't go at all.
One of the things I have seen is that which I opened the thread with, fear. While I was not afraid to go when I was first saved, I was very uncomfortable going. But I know some people who have emotional problems which hinder their going. Well, I started to speak of another example, but probably better that I do not. The point being that while most of us are reasonably sound in mind and emotion, thee are some people struggling, and perhaps the root problems being that they are either unsaved, they are immature in their walk, they have baggage from their old lives which have not been set aside, or, they really have serious problems mentally. Which I believe the Lord can cure, and do so utilizing the Body of Christ. Love and fellowship can do some amazing things.
One thing we can be sure of, lol, is that there will always be sheep. One preacher said once, in regards to bringing in sheep, "Shepherds don't make sheep...sheep make sheep!" lol
The point being, the fellowship needs to be disciple in evangelistic efforts. Among your sheep are evangelists, likely, that simply need to be trained. God gives the evangelist gifts, but they have to be developed as those people grow in Christ.
I pray God bless your ministry, and that you will have no lack of faithful Congregationalists. But, a great fellowship is not made by large numbers, right?
God bless.
I think this topic, as most topics can, has the danger of exaggerating the "Body reality." While we have to be aware that going to Church is something that we do because we first and foremost go to worship God, fellowship following that, we also know there are some who have an erroneous view that going to Church is something that contributes to salvation from an eternal perspective. For them, missing church is inexcusable.
But at the same time, there is the danger of despising those who feel faithful attendance somehow is legalistic. The truth is, for some, going to church is about the best thing they know how to do to be Christian. And I don't see anything wrong with that for new believers. I think most are probably like that when first saved, I know I was. I count myself blessed because from an "early age" in my walk, I have always had a desire to see others saved, and have always had a love for Bible Study. I hungered to know more, and to know what is sound. When I was first saved I listened to all kinds of preachers on the radio, and was absolutely astounded when the concept of false teachers began to be understood. I simply could not fathom that anyone would dare to treat the Word of God haphazardly. I better understand that some false teachers don't know any better, but it was a shock then.
And I think Sunday Morning should hold a special place in our hearts. This is the time of worship in which, when we invite people, it will usually be this service.
I agree with you in that it can become almost legalistic for some, and to be honest, that is why I started the thread "Forsaking the Assembling of the Brethren," because Hebrews 10:25, every time I have ever heard it preached, is always used to scare people into faithful attendance. I view that as an abuse of the text, and a disservice to proper training in the Word.
It's like giving a kid a bicycle and telling them it's for hanging coats on.
God bless.
And I am not going to criticize how you feel about it. I would rather see zeal for the House of God than reviling, or despising, but, I will ask, could you explain why we "must pray and sing whenever we have missed going to church?"
For me, praying and singing songs in our hearts should be non-stop. Worship is non-stop, achieved by being in obedience to God.
And again, I do believe we should set an example for our children. But, many children who grow up in the church, when they become of age, will not themselves regularly attend. The reasons why we go to church should be taught for reasons of personal relationship, rather than simply a requirement.
God bless.
And I hope we can draw a distinct difference between legitimate reasons, and excuses. As the OP states, I have no intention of giving people I think they shouldn't go to church. And I hoped that we might, as the Body, discuss this issue together and, maybe, along the way, some (including myself) would receive the exhortation of the brethren to understand why we go, and be encouraged to perhaps look at Worship and Fellowship a little differently.
At the same time also, that we might understand why some are not encouraged to go. I view growth as coming in stages, and just base this on my own experience. We have that first stage which I view as that "first love," where we are on fire for the Lord. Then comes perhaps a time of discouragement. Then that first love is renewed, and I think primarily because we are maturing, and better understand some of the things which may have discouraged us when we were younger. For myself, I have been disappointed a few times by those in leadership I sat under. When I was first saved, as I said before, I felt like the scum of the earth walking into the midst of a holy people, and did not deserve to be there. Then I found out these people were not always so holy as I felt they should be, I mean, after all...they have been going to church their whole live! lol
But that has become more balanced, and I better understand the weakness we retain by reason of unredeemed flesh, and so the caricaturized view I imposed on those people can now be understood as erroneous on my part. And in understanding that, I do not impose a requirement on others that I know full well I myself cannot fulfill.
God bless.