Not Christian because I won't "forgive and forget" his behavior?

No you are definitely not in the wrong. You can forgive someone and still cut them off. You don't need to have people in your life that will treat you like that and not respect your boundaries, then go blab about you behind your back.

 

Yep. There is nothing wrong with using good judgement.

 

You wouldn't keep putting your hand in a snake pit because you forgave the snake for biting you. He's gonna bite you again. And I too think forgiveness means more about me being able to move on without bitterness.

 

As others have said you can forgive a person but still not want to have them in your life any more, that's a freedom of choice and his behaviour was unacceptable so why would you want him in your life?

People seem to think that being a Christian means you should let them walk all over you and that's far from the case.

 

Sounds pretty emotional on both parts, if you don't mind me saying so.

As far as forgiving, that's something you can do, but, most of us are aware these days that obsession can be fatal, literally. So I would advise staying away from this fellow altogether, because I can tell you that the likelihood that any type of communication might be considered by him as an "opening" or a chance at a relationship is very real.

Doesn't mean you shouldn't forgive him, but, that doesn't mean he is relieved of his need to repent of his sin. The best thing for you to do is forgive him, pray for him, but...don't do anything that might be interpreted by him as you considering a relationship of any sort with him. You cannot even be a friend to him under circumstances like this.

Keep clear of this guy.


God bless.

 

You did the right thing. You should never be in a position that makes you feel uncomfortable. He over stepped his boundaries. No man should ever put his hands on you in an inappropriate matter. Just because you forgive somebody doesn't mean that you approve of what they did. You are simply forgiving what happened so you can move forward with your life. You may forgive but you will never forget. Take care of yourself and I am proud of you for standing up to him and getting away from him.

 

If you want this to continue do nothing and it appears he will never let up... But if I were you and wanted to put a stop to it I would find out what the laws are in my city or state in regards to phone and any other type of harassment this guy and his buddy fits into... There must be a way to block and sever all contact with this guy and his friend permanently!... Brother Glen

 

I think you should forgive, but definitely not forget. I think you may have already forgiven him, and have just not forgotten. And THAT is a good thing. Your body is your temple, and he was not respecting yours. It was he that was being unchristian with his advances towards you. What you did was great, because you set boundaries, and a lot of us make the mistake of not doing so and then have bigger problems on our hands. God wants us to respect our bodies, and you set boundaries so that your friend can respect yours. The friendship with him is not healthy or beneficial for your livelihood. I'm sure you know of many cases where people will become obsessed with someone and do harm to them further down the road, so be careful.

I think you should meet him in a public place and talk to him (don't go alone, bring a family member or friend), and let him know that you forgive him, and that you only see a friendship with him, nothing more. If he can't take it, well then at least you tried. If he accepts just being your friend, then once again set up your boundaries.....no texting all the time, no telling him where you are all the time, not meeting him alone etc. You control how you want and don't want to be treated. Good luck girl.

 

Sorry to hear that but I'm sure if you dig deep enough you can find a Womens organization that will!... Brother Glen

 

I think you made a good choice in letting this man go. It sounds to me like he was showing early signs of stalking tendencies. The fact that he is trying to use your Christian values in protest to your decision shows you that he has some issues to work out. Honestly, I wouldn't even take it personally. People like this are looking for an excuse to continue their behavior, or maybe don't even recognize that they aren't behaving rationally. I wish you the best and hope you can get him out of your life entirely. Your safety comes first.

 

God wants you to be forgiving, but He doesn't want you to be stupid. You don't have to let someone in your life who is not healthy for you. You should pray for your "friend", and let that be the end of it. You forgive for you, not for the other person, so I feel like you did what you were supposed to do as a Christian. You have to protect yourself too.

 

Stalking is literally no more than a massively sinful way of control. Any Christian has NONE TO DO in this unrighteous activity. It is based in pride yet is a feeble attention getter.

There are several types of stalkers-
•The violent obsessive is dangerous as he may resort to violence or lay dormant in fantasy for lengthy periods.
He may become violent over nothing; he has often a Napoleon complex. You are his plaything. Not others. Very much a type to flip-flop more than Mitt Romney in mood.
Possibly very bright also. Passive-aggressive.
•The rare attention seeker is just out to be noticed; he might be a reject or no but just wants to achieve recognition; possession becomes at later stages. Not often violent but compulsive moreover obsessive. His object seems like, in his eyes, the only thing to matter to which none other sees the object like they. Low opinion of themselves.
•The coward. Pretty self evident. All stalkers are in some way cowards attempting to displace this inordinate affection.
Frequently ashamed to do it either on moral conviction or guilt.
The WWW age makes stalking a pandemic, and it is so easy to cover tracks. Be cautious what you say or do online; he can well be monitoring.

I advise a strong self-defense policy. Micheal Janich of staysafemedia.com has great material, and there is not much better deterrent than a gun. Power cannot exist when the stalker cannot be empowered; he falls to ruin. Police are there when milliseconds count. Do no violence except justified.

Luke's gospel 17.1-4. http://biblehub.com/kjv/luke/17.htm
If he ain't walking in apostolic tradition, cast him out.
Change your number.