Hello from Missouri

Hello,

Just joined. I'm a 33 year old female from southwestern Missouri. I've been attending an independent Baptist church since September of last year. I've had nothing but good experiences at the church so far, and I think the church was an answer to a prayer I made to God to put me in the right Bible-based church.

Before I became convinced that the Baptists were the closest to all the Biblical Truth of all the Christian groups (historically, in practice/action, and in doctrine), I attended Calvary Chapel churches for several years. I had been considering leaving, and believed God was telling me to leave, when a scandal hit the church I went to last year and confirmed it was time to go. (I think there are some solid and genuine believers in the CCs, but it is my conviction that, overall, they are too prone to casual worldliness, entertainment-seeking, and frivolity at the expense of spiritual depth and discipline.)

Prior to that, in my late twenties, I was surrounded by friends online who were staunch patriarchal Reformed Calvinists, so I'm familiar with that branch as well. I have not had many edifying experiences with Calvinists, so I no longer interact closely with them.

A bit more on my background for context. My mother sadly passed away last week; she was originally Wisconsin Synod Lutheran, which is the first church I remember being in when I was a young child, but she became more influenced by Pentecostals in the last 20 or so years of her life, and she and my father got very preoccupied with eschatology. When she became increasingly incapacitated physically, they studied the Bible a lot together in "home study." My parents remained somewhat conservative and orthodox in their views, but they didn't really like to affiliate closely with any churches, and they were convinced of a few views that I've since learned aren't particularly orthodox in most Christian circles (they believed people can be saved after they die, for example).

I'm the sort of person who is always asking questions and trying to put matters into systems. Sometimes I just need to have faith and not try to figure out everything. With this in mind, I did go through a time of doubt in my late teen years and early twenties and classified myself as an agnostic then. I returned to the faith in 2005 after God convinced me in a series of dreams and visions that He was indeed real, I was living a sinful life, and I needed to turn from it. I got engaged around this time, but my now-spouse remains agnostic. He accepts my life of faith and never prevents me from praying, studying the Scriptures, or going to church.

Finally, I do have some issues relating to other women. I was very close to my mother, but as I've grown and interacted more with other women, I've learned that most women aren't like my mother, or like me. I've been repeatedly told that I'm unusually logic-driven for a female. I also have poor social skills and don't care about things like shopping or Pinterest. And, certainly the most isolating of all, I struggle with a sin issue that is much more common to men than it is for women, so I haven't found any online resources that give help to women in this area. Of the women I've spoken to about the issue, only a handful have admitted they have ever had similar struggles.

Hope to learn from, and be edified by, the members of this board.

 

Thanks.

I believe I have passed through Aurora before, coming back to Joplin leaving from a Branson church retreat back in 2015. I lived in Joplin from 2001-2016 and currently reside in the Springfield area.