But for me that attraction has never once been sexually charged, and I wasn't even tempted to make it so.
Then you really didn’t experience the lust many have had to experience.
Like being drawn to a beautiful painting
Also, not what lust is. Lust is not admiring the figure and looks of a woman or man. Lust is not enjoying someone’s company and wishing to be with them or even hugging and kissing them. Lust is base and, for some, far stronger than these things.
Now when I say lust, I mean sexual lust - not the lust for your neighbor’s car. Allow me to give you a Biblical and real description of what lust is. First, I’ll start with a passage from Jesus.
Matthew 19:8-12 NLT
[8] Jesus replied, "Moses permitted divorce only as a concession to your hard hearts, but it was not what God had originally intended. [9] And I tell you this, whoever divorces his wife and marries someone else commits adultery-unless his wife has been unfaithful."
[10] Jesus' disciples then said to him, "If this is the case, it is better not to marry!"
[11] "Not everyone can accept this statement," Jesus said. "Only those whom God helps. [12] Some are born as eunuchs, some have been made eunuchs by others, and some choose not to marry for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Let anyone accept this who can."
Now, Tim Mackie does a pretty good job of unpacking the first three sentences of this. You can look it up online if you want. However, I need to go over the last two verses in more detail myself.
What Jesus is saying is that some men are born without lust. Some have had their junk cut off and some “cut it off” themselves. (I’m not going to argue about whether he meant actually cutting of the genitals or if he meant choosing not to marry as the NLT takes the liberty of translating the Greek into.) The final sentence, “Let anyone accept this who can.”, clearly states that there are those who can’t accept this.
Jesus didn’t say “Anyone can accept this if he has the faith the size of a mustard seed.” Lust is more powerful than moving a mountain.
Now, for many, they have been eunuched since birth. They have no base sexual desire. All their plumbing works. It’s not broken or defective. That’s not what I am saying. They don’t have an overwhelming deep desire to put X to Y. Now some of these men have chosen to remain single. Others get married anyway. And, unfortunately, some pursue homosexuality.
So let’s go back in time to examine the power of lust on those who have not been eunuched.
Genesis 29:15-18 NLT
[15] Laban said to him, "You shouldn't work for me without pay just because we are relatives. Tell me how much your wages should be." [16] Now Laban had two daughters. The older daughter was named Leah, and the younger one was Rachel. [17] There was no sparkle in Leah's eyes, but Rachel had a beautiful figure and a lovely face. [18] Since Jacob was in love with Rachel, he told her father, "I'll work for you for seven years if you'll give me Rachel, your younger daughter, as my wife."
So, Jacob was willing to work for 7 years to obtain Rachel. What for? “A beautiful figure and a lovely face”. Yep, Jacob did this for lust. Seven years hard labor - that is the power of lust.
This is further confirmed when Jacob finishes the seven years.
Genesis 29:21 NLT
[21] Finally, the time came for him to marry her. "I have fulfilled my agreement," Jacob said to Laban. "Now give me my wife so I can sleep with her."
Not, so that I can watch the sun set with her, worship god together, have her help running the business, have her company, have children, etc.
But what happens when lust is satiated?
2 Samuel 13:14-15 NLT
[14] But Amnon wouldn't listen to her, and since he was stronger than she was, he raped her. [15] Then suddenly Amnon's love turned to hate, and he hated her even more than he had loved her. "Get out of here!" he snarled at her.
The true nature of the feelings are revealed and the previous desire, which may drive one to improper behavior, suddenly disappears.
Lust is a powerful motivator but it is also fleeting. Once satiated, it disappears - at least for a time.
So, how does one overcome lust? Prayer and fasting? I have not found a single scripture in support of this. I will provide the prescription Paul gives to overcome lust. Remember, Paul is the single apostle.
1 Corinthians 7:1-5 NLT
[1] Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. [2] But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.
[3] The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs. [4] The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.
[5] Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Now, Paul’s description of marriage is a purely sexual one. Notice that Paul doesn’t say to only have sex to have children, or that marriage is designed to support children. Paul doesn’t even mention children. Neither did Jesus. Paul doesn’t mention “love” as a reason or even a part of marriage in this passage.
Colossians 3:19 NLT
[19] Husbands, love your wives and never treat them harshly.
Love is a commandment. It’s not something that “happens” to you or doesn’t happen to you. Christians do so as a commandment from God.
Malachi 2:15-16 NLT
[15] Didn't the LORD make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his. And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. [16] "For I hate divorce!" says the LORD, the God of Israel. "To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty," says the LORD of Heaven's Armies. "So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife."
So, love is not a reason to get married since, as Christians, we can even love our enemies. Yet, is Paul saying that everyone must get married to satiate lust?
1 Corinthians 7:6-7 NLT
[6] I say this as a concession, not as a command. [7] But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.
Not really, Paul is saying talking about this as a method of dealing with the sexual immorality of the world, not as a command. But notice the last sentence here, Paul is saying his ability to remain single is a special gift from God and not everyone is provided with that gift. Paul is not lording his gift over everyone else and saying how horrible they are. He is providing an out.
As one gets older, this overwhelming desire of sexual lust lessens.
1 Kings 1:1-4 NLT
[1] King David was now very old, and no matter how many blankets covered him, he could not keep warm. [2] So his advisers told him, "Let us find a young virgin to wait on you and look after you, my lord. She will lie in your arms and keep you warm."
[3] So they searched throughout the land of Israel for a beautiful girl, and they found Abishag from Shunem and brought her to the king. [4] The girl was very beautiful, and she looked after the king and took care of him. But the king had no sexual relations with her.
Are you kidding? David, the guy who slept with dozens of women and threw away his kingdom to sleep with his soldier’s wife, had no sexual relations with the young, very beautiful, virgin girl who shared his bed? This is not uncommon. As people grow older, the sexual lust lessens. This is also true for women.
1 Timothy 5:11 NLT
[11] The younger widows should not be on the list, because their physical desires will overpower their devotion to Christ and they will want to remarry.
