Seeking to grow, maybe formal advisor/someone to guide?

Hello,

I feel like I need to learn all things from the beginning. I recently was made to realize by the Holy Ghost that it is Christ's righteousness, somehow that part didn't stick out to me, though I mentally understood and said all the right things.

I am worried in seeking an advisor type person that maybe I should not seek such a person. I do not want to be like Israel in the Old Testament who had God to their King but desired another. Yet Paul speaks of looking to those living properly in the faith to learn how we out to walk.

To see my history please see my post for joining, here: Just joined!

I am wanting to understand that 10 year past with so little Bible and Church if possible. I did ask the pastor of the local church I attend about someone, but I am doubtful about finding someone familiar with the available online resources and so on, but I may be wrong.

In getting back into the Bible and wanting to grow I thought about who I could learn from and my memory brought to mind Charles Spurgeon, I remembered it seeming like different denominations claimed him, and that he seemed well spoken of by everyone. His material as also brought my attention to the Puritans. I seem a much slower reader than Spurgeon who apparently read 5 books a week plus all his other duties. One of his sermons took me several days to get through.

I am currently also thinking Monergism.com is a good resource, unless I learn otherwise, as it is full of reformed material.

I tend to prefer to older material because I can trust that God used Spurgeon, and others whose life we can see and look back on, I feel that without the distractions of modern society that the men also seemed more able such as the qualifications of those that translated the King James Bible, and Spurgeon, so they may have somehow better material, maybe not, but also I like that it is free for those who know where to look. What would they say if they saw today how all this material is available for free that they spent so much on and how much would they have loved to have it so available. In looking up resources I saw PuritanBoard.com and went to join there for this, but I don't know about confessions and all that stuff so I would not have been accepted there and looked for some other boards. I saw this board and ChristianForums.com and thought this one would be my best bet.

One thing that is a big issue is that I seem to have Scrupulosity, which is a type of OCD, or obsessive compulsive disorder. I do see a psychiatrist for meds. My anxiety has shifted over the years to that which is most important to me. Since I was 20, when I believe I got saved, my anxiety has been in relation to God, I want to be pleasing to God so I spend much time stressing over what is the right thing to do in ways that are not normal and come up with topics to worry about that others don't come up with. So I spend a lot of time worrying and would rather comply with the Bible's telling me to be careful for nothing.

Would want someone well spoken of by the group here and so on who qualifies as a Biblically mature or elder Christian that might want to help to speak with maybe regularly and help me decide which of the public domain Christian writers of the past materials might best help me and so on.

 

Yes, it can be and is quite difficult. I hope that somehow God gets glory out of it, otherwise it is a lot of suffering for naught it seems, though I am reminded, perhaps by the Spirit, that:

"And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 KJV

and read something recently, I forget where or what exactly it said, but that all these things are to get us so that we seek after God properly, so if this is needful for me to truly come to him, than I am quite thankful for it.

Up to you on how much you share, that seems to help people sometimes. I have had a hard time recently spending hours struggling over if I can eat or take me medication worried about blood being in things.

I think that you may be right about posting some things. One thing that I would like to understand is about how Jesus is the end of the law for righteousness, which I assume means the end of all works for righteousness, and I want to make sure I am having faith properly, I believe the things I do are because I want to be pleasing to God, but I am not sure the right mindset to have to decide my actions and think that better understanding the interconnect between faith and works would help. I have been perhaps trying to do my own sanctification rather than having it done naturally, I don't know how it is supposed to work, but I am so caught up in trying to get things right, I don't know if having a better understanding might help my scrupulosity. I know in Galatians Paul said he was afraid of them since they seemed to have been doing some kind of works and not trusting fully in Jesus and faith in Jesus as their righteousness or way to receive the righteousness of Christ himself, and wonder if I am not in the same boat as them.

 

How did you connect Wisdom and Understanding to being 2 of his Spirits? do you know the others? Where does this connection and information come from? Yes I want to understand God's truth, not my own or sins etc. lie and delusion.