About Prayer for a Future Wife

Some months ago, I asked a free grace pastor, one who preaches salvation through faith alone in the finished, redemptive work of Christ, whether it was sinful to ask God to bring someone I knew in my younger years into my life again, and to bring us into marriage, and he replied that the proper prayer for a spouse is to ask God to give me a wife of His choosing. But I don't want to accept that, because I want to see this person again, in the hope I will love her, and she me, and in the hope we will enter into marriage between us, even though I don't even know if this person was ever saved or sanctified, (And I myself don't seem to be much sanctified). So, I want to pray that God will ensure her salvation and sanctification, and that He will bless her in many ways, and bring us together, and that He will also prepare me for that time, having desired this for several years since I remembered her, but having lacked the motivation to pray about this diligently.

My question regards whether or not this is sinful, and whether or not, there is a proper, God-glorifying reason to pray this prayer, and whether it would oppose God receiving glory for me to contact this person, seeing it may bring more glory to God to pray and not to take action. I made a promise to this person in a letter in my younger years, and desire to keep it, though I don't know if she accepted the promise, her having become angry at what I wrote her, because of the majority of its content, myself having not known the proper thing to write then.

And I, in that time, was not fully kind to her, as I should have been, nor in that time was I fully considerate, as I should have been, because, perhaps, I interpreted her not talking to me as an insult to me, rather than something I should have respected. And now I don't know what the right decision is, because she was more kind toward me in the end, and I don't know if God will be pleased with my prayer, or displeased with it, because it seemed as though she didn't even like me back then, although I only sought friendship with her at that time. It appears that, there is no reason for me to prayer this prayer.

What should I do?

 

I don't have a car and I don't know how to drive.

I used to have a low-paying job at a small startup as a computer programmer. I never fully supported myself or lived independently.

I've been on disability for schizophrenia.

I said this person may not be a Christian.

Shouldn't I be concerned about these things?

 

Nevermind.