Then we were seen in the car alone together and you would have thought that I had denied the deity of Christ. The same people who had tried to set me up were aghast that I would be dating.
It is best to avoid potential situations. Also, I would be careful in where you would go for a date . Never use the church (yours or hers) to meet -(unless others are there), or your homes. You want to make sure you are totally above reproach
I think this answers the elephant in the room avoided in the first post.
If it hadn’t been hidden (I don’t mean that it was intentionally covered up, unless it really was, that is a whole new level), I don’t think that there would have been any problems. Definitely nothing a good old fashioned chaperone would not have diverted. Are chaperones necessary? Well you’re eating in public and driving in public, but who is there to vouch for where you came from and where you are going? It would be far more valuable all around to have a chaperone and deal with a shadow than to suddenly be seen and become the gossip in the shadows. If there is nothing to hide, don’t hide. I like everybody being nosy in my personal life less than most. Deal with it. It is better not to be a stumbling block to your own church than to have the privacy you think you deserve.
I don’t see any problem with a pastor dating someone in his own church. If her father is not local or in the picture, I would recommend a deacon or church member with wisdom who you would pick for the ideal father-in-law. There should be someone who can look after her best interests in the relationship. I don’t mean that as an adult you have to pretend that she is 16. What I do mean is that someone who is not twitter-pated should be available to give
needed advice even if it is not asked for. If your church is worth keeping above reproach, your pastor’s testimony should be also.
Chaperones or shadows don’t need to sit at the same table with you but they should be able to see you and be able to vouch for your actions. Don’t both go off and leave your chaperone because you feel like you need more privacy.
Pastors are held to different standards in Scripture. It is to be expected that they will be held to the traditional standards.
I would make an announcement of some sort (even if that only means telling the person that you know will tell everyone). I would want people to know that I was dating because I want to know if this person is the right person to marry. Dating doesn’t mean marriage but it should mean intentions of marriage. It could be a great way to teach good relationship habits by example.
