Tell Us A Good One About A Wedding

At my first church I did a wedding for a couple, and they did not want to have a rehersal...well I didnt think too much about it and went on. Well we got in the middle of the vows in the ceremony and this young man just got shell shocked and stood there staring...when it came to the part for him to say "I do" he just stared and finally muttered out an "ummmmmmm OK"...I thought the poor bride was going to fall over she was so embarrased and a chuckle came out from the congregation. We finally got it finished ...it left me with some found memories

 

A cardiologist where I work tells of an episode with (distant) relatives.

During the reception he was summoned into the lobby of the reception hall to attend a woman had passed out.

Turns out she was in full cardiac arrest and he began CPR.

A croud gathered around and he requested that the on-lookers pull back a bit. One side of the family became a bit aggitated at the request and a shoving match began.

With that a full blown fight erupted; furniture broken, noses bloodied, mace was sprayed, total mayhem. All the while he was working on this woman.

The ambulance finally arrived along with some cops. Who proceded to futher complicate matters. Arrests were made, including the bride.

The sick woman eventually recovered but he said that he was speachless for the first half-hour on the way home. He had never seen anything so bizzare. Needless to say, drink was involved.

Rob

 

I was at a wedding where the groom was given the "Love, honor and obey" part . .
he repeated "Love, honor and . . Obey??"

 

Then there's the classic story of the wedding in which the day before it was to take place, the organist got sick and couldn't make it to the wedding.

Desparate, the bride & groom had to settle for the nephew of one of the bridesmaids who'd just recently took up learning to play the organ.

Fortunately, they only needed two songs: Once when the bride's party came down the aisle, and the other one when the newlyweds left the auditorium.

Fortunately, this nephew had learned two songs on the organ.

Fortunately, he was more than willing to help out ...and at no cost to the bride & groom!!

Unfortunately, they never asked him what those two songs were!

So, as the bride's party advanced to the altar, the assembled family and guests were treated to "Onward Christian Soldiers, Marching As To War,"

And, as the newly-wed couple left the auditorium, the organ struck up with "The Fight Is On"!

 

I preached---that's right, Bart----preached(I preach every wedding I do) a wedding once---and the Bride begged and begged me to work in the little song chorus----

"Bless Be the Tie that Binds"

To the very end of the ceremony

I was simply supposed to instruct the congregation to sing along

Well, you guessed it

At the very end---I was introducing the song and it came out like

"Folks! Let's all stand and sing that chorus, 'Bless be the Tie that Blinds!!!"

And in a few years---it did!!!

 

I preached---that's right, Bart----preached(I preach every wedding I do) a wedding once---and the Bride begged and begged me to work in the little song chorus----

"Bless Be the Tie that Binds"

To the very end of the ceremony

I was simply supposed to instruct the congregation to sing along

Well, you guessed it

At the very end---I was introducing the song and it came out like

"Folks! Let's all stand and sing that chorus, 'Bless be the Tie that Blinds!!!"

And in a few years---it did!!!

 

A couple joined our church who had been recently married. They were a little older (30s) when they married. They kissed at the appropriate spot in the wedding and then the groom turned aside and wiped off his mouth as if to wipe off the kiss. I guess you had to be there to fully appreciate what this looked like.

 

Many years ago, pastor who was new to us did his first wedding in our church. He had previously been a pastor in Brockton, Mass. for many years, and was in fact, from that area. Well, at his first wedding in Philadelphia, old habits ALMOST made the transition, given that the two locations did have something in common, but he didn't quite come over all the way. At the end of the service he said, "and by the power vested in me by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts...."

 

Our uncle was home from the African Mission field and performed the service for his son and soon to be wife.

Uncle M. is quite the comedian, but even he wouldn't have come up with this...

"repeat after me....With this ring I thee BED!" The whole place erupted in laughter, including the bride and groom. I have never seen anyone get the better of Uncle M., like he did himself that day!

 

The father of the bride was visibly shaken. I asked him why and he was afraid he would forget his words...........All he had to say was I do after I said who gives this woman?

Well, I calmed his fear when I told him I would help him. When it came to that spot, and he was perspiring profusely, I opened my gown to a rather large sign with the words, I Do....well, everyone started laughing, including him and,,,,,,,for the life of me, I can't remember if he said them or not..............

Cheers,

Jim

 

Dr. Doctor Bob----I did an outdoor wedding one time---we got started with the wedding and the guy next door suddenly decides he wants to "plow" his garden---so he cranks said tractor up---diesel smoke belchin' all over----he revved the engine to about "Warp 9"(if it went any faster it'd had blown) and up and down in the same spot he went not far from where we were havin' the weddin'---he was throwin' up enough dust to hide the 101st Airborne behind it, to boot!!!----turns out he was "protestin'" the wedding---because the bride's daddy didn't want her gettin' married----Land's Sake!!!! What was I suppose to do??? The bride was 43 years old!!!

When it was all over---the groom gave me 10 dollars!!!!

But I kinda figure----you do 50 weddings a year---at 10 smackers per wedding-----Brother!!!! You need to find you another hobby!!!!!!

 

A pastor that pastors a Christian Church here locally has told me this story twice - both times he laughed, and so did I.

He was doing a wedding early in his ministry with a younger couple. The platform was set up so there was room for the wedding party to be on the platform with the bridal party.

The wedding was held in summer and the a/c wasn't working too well.

During the wedding one of the groomsmen proceeded to adjust his footing not realizing that he was mere inches from the baptistry. Needless to say, he made quite a splash.

 

I have done the music for so many weddings, and have lots of stories to tell. The one that sticks out in my mind most is the first one I played for - They didnt have a rehearsal (bad idea) and told me to play the fanfare after the 4th bridesmaid. So after she came, I played the fanfare, everyone stood and...out came another bridesmaid!!

I have also seen lots of people faint, one groom not get there til almost 2 hours late, and a pastor not be able to remember the brides name. He called her Sharon, Shirley, Sheila, and Sherry. Her name was Shannon, and he was family~!~

 

At my wedding I notice that my pastor was grinning, about to crack up, and I could hear snickers from the audience during an otherwise very serious portion of the ceremony. Just as the snickers died down, the whole church burst out into laughter.

At the reception I learned why.

My flowergirl was the daughter of a dear friend who was also one of my attendents. The flowergirl wore a beautiful floor length hooped skirt. During the ceremony she had tapped her mother on the shoulder, handed her the basket of flowers, hiked up her skirt, given her upper thigh a really good scratching, dropped the skirt back into place, and taken back her flowers. Then, a few seconds later, she had tapped her mother on the shoulder again, once more trying to pass her the flowers. Her mother, having learned her lesson the first time, shook her head no, and that second round was what brought the laughter out of the assembled guests.

 

Nick was only 3 when we attended our oldest son's wedding. Nick was really enthralled with the service and when the preacher asked... 'Do you take?', Nick answered 'I do, too'. Everyone laughed including our son and his wife. After the service, Nick told everyone that he'd married ME.

 

I blew out the unity candle.

 

I don't know how much, if any, truth is in this story I once heard. A young pastor was preparing to officiate his first wedding, and he was nervous about it, thinking he might 'draw a blank' some time in the ceremony, so he called an older pastor he know for advice. The older pastor told him that if something like that happens to just quote some scripture-- any well-known scripture-- and that will calm him back down and give him a little time to remember his 'place.' Sure enough, he drew a blank at a point during the ceremony, so he quickly remembered the advice, looked straight at the couple and said, "Father, fogive them, for they know not what they do."