Is Every Divorce Recognized by God?

Genesis 2:24 describes a man and woman becoming one flesh in marriage, and Jesus refers to this in Matthew 19:6: “What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Matthew 19:9 addresses sexual immorality in the context of divorce, and Paul discusses abandonment by an unbelieving spouse in 1 Corinthians 7:15.

If a couple divorces for reasons apart from those discussed in these passages, how should their marriage be understood biblically? Does the legal divorce itself end the one-flesh union? And if adultery occurs but the couple never obtains a legal divorce, does the adultery itself end the marriage bond in God's eyes, or does the marriage remain intact? What implication would this situation have for remarriage?

I’m interested in hearing how others understand the issue in light of Scripture.

Here's my take: Marriage is a covenant established by God, not simply a legal contract between two people (Genesis 2:24).

A couple can obtain a civil divorce for virtually any reason, but that doesn't automatically mean the divorce was justified before God. Jesus makes it clear that not every reason for divorce is acceptable (Matthew 19:4-9). So I would be hesitant to conclude that a legal divorce, by itself, necessarily dissolves the marriage bond in God's eyes.

On the other hand, I don't believe adultery automatically terminates a marriage either. Jesus identifies sexual immorality as an exception in Matthew 19:9, but He doesn't say that the marriage automatically ends when adultery occurs. The innocent spouse is given grounds for divorce, not an obligation to divorce. Reconciliation and forgiveness remain possible.

This also raises an important question about remarriage. If adultery automatically ended a marriage, why would Jesus need to address divorce and remarriage in the same passage? I think the distinction between having biblical grounds for divorce and actually ending the marriage deserves careful consideration.

Ultimately, I believe we should be careful not to treat civil paperwork as having authority over the covenant God established. At the same time, we should recognize that Scripture makes provisions for circumstances in which divorce is permissible.

Becoming one flesh with a spouse is not some metaphysical union that happens in God’s eyes up in heaven.

It involves merging with someone to transform two separate independent individuals into one united force. This includes sharing time, beliefs, love, and experiences together as a cohesive unit.

Divorce destroys all this mutuality, as it should. The one flesh union must be a living, continuous reality, not an emotional sentimentality.

Remaining friends with a person you divorced does not maintain any deep solid relationship. It is just a casual interaction at best.

Adultery poisons the one flesh bond, which can never be the same again. Adultery can possibly be forgiven, but not forgotten.

I personally cannot comprehend why anyone would stay married to a spouse who committed adultery. My first wife cheated on me repeatedly. I tried to forgive her. We separated for 6 months. I took her back. She did it again. I could not wait to get rid of her. You are vulnerable to various sexually transmitted diseases via adultery. Your heart is broken and you carry that damage into your life.

One flesh is not some sacred contract. It is a practical reality that requires mutual love and respect, teamwork, and heart to heart tenderness.

My second wife and I became one flesh, in spite of my imperfections. Even her death could not dissolve that union, in that our connection persists in my heart as I intensely and perpetually yearn for her.