I began reading more from MacArthur and others who were espousing Calvinism. It was not because I even cared what Calvinists believed, I just respected the teaching of some of these preachers and wanted to see what they said about it.
So, I slowly moved from the middle position to a more Calvinistic position
I got my beliefs from my study of Scripture, not Calvinism
I notice this pattern a lot amongst calvinists. They claim they become calvinists from study of the Scripture only....AFTER reading the works of other calvinists.
Mine is similar. I was saved non calvinist. After a good friend said he was a calvinist and listed the loooong line of godly, good preachers as who were also calvinists, I wanted to study TULIP and the "doctrines of grace". My friend is a very intelligent man, and I figured that if he believed this theology...and all of these great men of God believed this theology, it must be correct. I immediately began to pray that God would reveal the truth, as it can't be both, and even if I was wrong all of these years about God's love, grace, sovereignty and man's responsibility, to make the truth known. Every time I came across a "proof text", the explanation and molding of the Scripture left a sick and uneasy feeling within me. I tried to take it in with an open mind and heart, but would find that it would not rest easy in my soul. I even approached my friend who is a calvinist and asked him how he became a calvinist, how God revealed the "truth" to him. He recommended a slew of books by Pink, Macarthur, etc. It then dawned on me that he did not come across this theology from studying Scripture, but calvinists.
I wanted to know what someone who was once a calvinist, and then became non calvinist had to say in my quest for the truth. Here is his reply to me:
"Thanks for the email. I am sorry to hear about your friend, but it may be, as it was with me a phase of learning that he will emerge from.
First, let me say that there are many shades of Calvinism and many folks mean different things. A friend of mine called himself a Calvinist because he thought it meant believing in once saved, always saved. So, don't assume what he believes. Many "Calvinists" reject limited atonement but still believe they are Calvinists. I don't know how "hard" or "soft" your friend may be.
Second, let me explain how I think most Calvinists become Calvinists. It has a lot to do with personality.
1. If you are an analytical, rules driven person who loves to study and read, you are very susceptible. Engineers, programmers, etc.
2. I don't know anyone who is born again as a Calvinist. It is a system into which one is indoctrinated. I came to it by RC Sproul's radio ministry. His mission is not to evangelize, but to spread Calvinism. John Piper is also prominent now.
3. Calvinism is intellectually stimulating. The list of Calvinists is a list of the "best and the brightest." Who wouldn't want to believe the same as Spurgeon, or Whitefield, or Piper or MacArthur?
This is probably the hardest thing to let go of. How could all these smart people be wrong?
Unfortunately, the best comparison I can make is to the Pharisees. They loved to argue, to study, to have great titles, to have prominence and respectability. Don't doubt that is Jesus appeared today, it would be the Calvinists drilling him with trick questions.
My personal journey out was prompted by 2 incidents. One was a counselor training seminar prior to a Billy Graham crusade. The trainer spoke about visiting a believer who had a large theological library (as I do.) and complimenting the man, who responded "I love a good argument." That floored me. I thought "My love of arguing over Calvinism has displaced my love for Christ and a desire to reach the lost." Whenever I read the word, all I could think of was how I could use some verse to bash someone with in an argument. How pathetic.
The second incident was while reading a story by R A Torrey, an associate of DL Moody, the great evangelist. He told of a man who resisted the Spirit's prompting to witness to a particular man. He kept putting it off. Until one day, he finally visited the man's shop only to find that the man had killed himself the day before. As a Calvinist, I thought, "Doesn't matter, he must have been predestined to hell anyway." Then it struck me what an awful thought I had just had. I realized how calloused Calvinism had made me to the plight of the lost.
Most Calvinist ridicule, but never read, the other side of the argument. There are a number of good books: Robert Lightner's The Death Christ Died, Robert Shank's Elect in the Son, and Marston's God's Strategy in Human History. And though it has some flaws, and Calvinists absolutely go rabid over it, Dave Hunt's What Love is This is a good non-academic book.
Calvinism is not terminal. I believe that many have a true heart for Christ and for evangelism. Even though Piper is probably the most extreme poluarizer of it now, he and his church are very evangelistic and mission minded. Fortunately, not all Calvinists are consistent with the implications of Calvinism."
NE will glory in their own self-will or self-effort for their salvation, He alone will receive all glory, honor, and praise. Were it not for His grace, none of us would have come. YET IT IS ALSO TRUE that the means of our coming is the preaching of the Word (Rom 10:14-17). Do we choose? Yes. Did God choose? Yes. 
